Korean Job Discussion Forums

[SteveJobs]

Hi guys! I have been reading the forums lately and have found a few interesting discussions on what dating and relationships are like between korean men and women. What I have not found unfortunately is any discussion on GAY dating and relationships in S. Korea.

I know that homosexuality isn't really a topic in Korean culture but I also know that there have to be some people here who could shed some light onto this topic for me.

I'm at my last semester at uni here in the states and I'm researching teaching in Korea. I studied in Germany and travelled in Europe and had a blast as gay culture is much more open than even here in the states. Needless to say I had no problem finding interesting men to get to know.

But I am a bit worried that I won't have the same experience in Korea. I mean I understand its not a liberal society and all but I also don't want to not be able to date at all.

In Europe there is a major gay dating/profile site that many men use, is there anything like that for S. Korea?

Also are there any men here brave enough to share their experiences with gay culture here and what dating korean men is like? I imagine I'll have to be in a metropolitan area like seoul or Busan to find any kind of gay bars/clubs and what not.

Will I just be limited to gay American soldiers and maybe some Western teachers?


I would greatly appreciate any insight. p.s please don't attack my english. Thanks in advance!

[Gibberish]

We've had many threads on this subject. The consensus has been that gay men have an especially hard time in Korea. Though the subculture does exist, and there are gay Korean men, it's a needle-in-the-haystack situation. Needless to say one would have to keep their sexuality under wraps the entire time they were in Korea, which is also another challenge. Expect to not date or get laid for the entire year, and hope for the best. That's the mindset I would use. I'm sure there are gay teachers who would help you integrate.

[SteveJobs]

Thanks Gibberish for you input. I'm looking more from people/guys with experience with actual dating. Like what is the dynamic like between a western and korean. I know there is no one answer but I'm trying to get a feeling for what actually dating and being in a relationship is like.

I'm wondering how do korean guys view western men. Do they like them, indifferent to them? or just stick to other korean men? r they open to long term relationships or r they just looking to get laid with a well endowed Westerner?

Also what are the American soldiers like? I wonder if the situation is different than in Germany. In Germany I would meet many soldiers at gay bars/clubs or anywhere in public and they were pretty open and stuff. I hung out with gay and str8 soldiers together and no one cared.

I recognize that life won't be easy, I'm hoping someone can share real experiences.

Anyone know of dating sites?

[While Away]

OK, here's some info about the experience.

50% of gay Korean men only want to exchange emails / SMS messages to get some kind of thrill. They never actually meet.
30% will arrange to meet, but then cancel because office made a last minute mandatory attendance drinking party.
15% will meet, but not dare to go anywhere but your apartment.
5% will go out with you on a date.

So you just have to keep looking to find the 1 out of 20 that will go out.
This experience is based on men older than you are probably looking for; things may be different in the younger crowd, but probably not.

It's easy to meet people, you just have to deal with the odds that I mention above.

[rg321mh]

I googled and found this korean site

http://chingusai.net/

It seems they also offer in English though it restricted to only information not community

Hope you find best luck!

[conrad2]

Do gay dudes go on dates? Whats the point? Do you have to buy some guy dinner, listen to his lame conversation, compliment his shirt, in hopes of getting sex at the end? You would hope that two guys would be able to cut through all that crap that normal people go through.

[peppermint]

I don't think it's as grim as all that. The gay guys I used to work with seemed to have pretty active social lives. A poster named Nova Kart would probably have the best insight, as he's actually gay and in Korea.

[Kaypea]

I find this thread interesting. I'm a straight woman, but I miss the gay atmosphere of other countries.

I knew one guy with an adjossi boyfriend...

As for gay dating, it seems like the gay guys I knew back in Canada liked doing interesting stuff together, like going to movies they wanted to see or dancing at clubs they liked, or going shopping or to art museums or sports games etc. It wasn't about sexual negotiation, I think gay guys are more comfortable being frank about that stuff.

[NovaKart]

Sorry to burst your bubble but I'm actually in Turkey, not Korea and haven't been to Korea yet. There's got to be internet sites for gays in Korea, I mean it's a pretty tech savvy culture isn't it? There could be a language barrier problem though. Try the gay and lesbian section of the lonely planet message board. And start learning Korean.

As for the dating subject, in my experience for gays you can totally cut through the whole dating crap and get right to the point. We still usually call it dating though, cause otherwise it would just be crude.

[Globutron]

If you're gay, eat Kimchi. It cures homosexuality and AIDS at the same time.

[SteveJobs]

[teecee]

[jugbandjames]

[SteveJobs]

it really depends on the man. Some gays own purpose in life is screwing everyone possible just because they can, but that can be said of heterosexual men as well I think.

[sugarloaf82]

I wouldn't worry about it, or limit yourself to American military guys/the teaching community. I've had no trouble dating over the past year. Initially I was hesitant about dating Koreans but I've found that I have had much more fun with them than the few western guys I've hung out with here. Mind you, the younger Koreans who are uni students are much flakier in my opinion, so I now steer clear of them (I'm in my mid-twenties).

I've met some great Korean guys who have turned out to be really good friends as well. They've all been fairly westernized and spoke good English though having spent a fair amount of time abroad, etc... And I think that does make a difference.

The guys I've dated have been quite comfortable with themselves as well and have been very open when we'd go out/hang out in public, which is nice. But everyone is different.

So, yeah. You'll be able to enjoy yourself, no matter what you're looking for.