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Forever
Joined: 12 Nov 2009
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 Posted: Fri Nov 27, 2009 6:09 pm Post subject: Koreans NOT making same mistake twice |
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http://www.koreaherald.co.kr/NEWKHSITE/data/html_dir/2009/11/28/200911280029.asp
Divorced? More Koreans opted for foreign spouses when marrying for the second time.
Nearly 60 percent of Korean men married Chinese women for the second time, followed by those marrying women from Vietnam and the Philippines. "Korean men preferred women from China or other Southeast Asian countries after their failed first marriage
Korean women chose men from developed countries such as Japan and the United States," Korean women chose men from Japan (40.9 percent), China (38 percent) and the United States (8.5 percent) for their second marriage. |
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seoulsucker
Joined: 05 Mar 2006
Location: The Land of the Hesitant Cutoff
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| Posted: Fri Nov 27, 2009 8:00 pm Post subject: |
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| This is also probably due to the fact that divorcees are considered damaged goods here...especially women with kids. I don't think I've ever met a Korean woman with kids that remarried a Korean man. |
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Draz
Joined: 27 Jun 2007
Location: Land of Morning Clam
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| Posted: Fri Nov 27, 2009 8:25 pm Post subject: |
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| seoulsucker wrote: |
| This is also probably due to the fact that divorcees are considered damaged goods here...especially women with kids. I don't think I've ever met a Korean woman with kids that remarried a Korean man. |
You hang out with a lot of Korean families I take it. |
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NightSky
Joined: 19 Apr 2005
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| Posted: Fri Nov 27, 2009 10:28 pm Post subject: |
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| seoulsucker wrote: |
| This is also probably due to the fact that divorcees are considered damaged goods here...especially women with kids. I don't think I've ever met a Korean woman with kids that remarried a Korean man. |
a good friend of mine is a divorcee (her first husband was abusive). Her second husband had also been married (his first wife was a psycho who made off with all their money.) the woman has a little boy from her first marriage, the man has a teenage daughter from his first marriage, they now have a baby girl together. they all live together. blended K-family.
you may not have met such a couple but it does happen.
koreans don't have a thought process like: "Oh noes, I'm divorced, I guess I better find a Westerner now." |
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nautilus
Joined: 26 Nov 2005
Location: Je jump, Tu jump, oui jump!
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| Posted: Fri Nov 27, 2009 10:55 pm Post subject: |
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| Does it amount to an admission that marrying a korean is an especially big risk? |
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dharma bum
Joined: 15 Jun 2004
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| Posted: Fri Nov 27, 2009 11:19 pm Post subject: |
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| maybe i'm taking the wrong approach to these statistics - but for whatever reason, i see them as more of an indication of divorcees being stigmatized in korea than them having a preference for non-koreans. in other words, i think that these men might have had trouble finding second wives in korea because they've already got one marriage under their belt, which is looked down upon many (but not all) people here from my understanding, and so did the mail-order bride thing or otherwise found a wife from a different culture. like i said, i could be looking at it all wrong and making too many assumptions...but my guess is that it isn't preference but rather necessity that's driving those statistics. |
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jvalmer
Joined: 06 Jun 2003
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| Posted: Sat Nov 28, 2009 12:20 am Post subject: |
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| NightSky wrote: |
| seoulsucker wrote: |
| This is also probably due to the fact that divorcees are considered damaged goods here...especially women with kids. I don't think I've ever met a Korean woman with kids that remarried a Korean man. |
a good friend of mine is a divorcee (her first husband was abusive). Her second husband had also been married (his first wife was a psycho who made off with all their money.) the woman has a little boy from her first marriage, the man has a teenage daughter from his first marriage, they now have a baby girl together. they all live together. blended K-family.
you may not have met such a couple but it does happen.
koreans don't have a thought process like: "Oh noes, I'm divorced, I guess I better find a Westerner now." |
One of my CT's second husband is a Korean man. He's never been married, but she brought 2 kids with her into the marriage. My CT's first husband didn't want anything to do with his kids, so let her take them. Also, according to my CT, her former husband is also married to a Korean woman on her second marriage too. I think you just never hear about it because they may not talk about it to a foreigner. But from what I gather it's pretty common for Koreans to marry another Korean on their 2nd go around. |
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jvalmer
Joined: 06 Jun 2003
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| Posted: Sat Nov 28, 2009 12:23 am Post subject: |
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Also, I knew a young lady that was married for a grand total of 48 hours. Supposedly she divorced because the guy was a little to kinky for her liking. She's married again, to a Korean guy.
I wonder why they don't put the total marriages and the percentage marrying foreigners, instead of giving percentage increases? |
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dharma bum
Joined: 15 Jun 2004
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| Posted: Sat Nov 28, 2009 12:30 am Post subject: |
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| for what it's worth, i also have a close friend who divorced and then re-married (bringing a kid along with her). both husbands have been korean...and the new one is a really great guy. my friend doesn't really tell people about her "situation" unless she has to though. |
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Burndog
Joined: 17 Feb 2008
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| Posted: Sat Nov 28, 2009 5:50 pm Post subject: |
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| dharma bum wrote: |
| for what it's worth, i also have a close friend who divorced and then re-married (bringing a kid along with her). both husbands have been korean...and the new one is a really great guy. my friend doesn't really tell people about her "situation" unless she has to though. |
Yeah, I've got a friend who got pregnant to a Japanese guy while she was living i Japan. He did a runner, so she came back to Korea and had twins. She ended up marrying a Korean guy who accepts the twins as his own. She doesn't mention that they aren't his though...it's a big secret. |
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Faunaki
Joined: 15 Jun 2007
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| Posted: Sat Nov 28, 2009 8:30 pm Post subject: |
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| jvalmer wrote: |
| I gather it's pretty common for Koreans to marry another Korean on their 2nd go around. |
My MIL married three times, all were Ks. |
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nautilus
Joined: 26 Nov 2005
Location: Je jump, Tu jump, oui jump!
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| Posted: Sat Nov 28, 2009 8:39 pm Post subject: |
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| Burndog wrote: |
Yeah, I've got a friend who got pregnant to a Japanese guy while she was living i Japan. He did a runner, so she came back to Korea and had twins. She ended up marrying a Korean guy who accepts the twins as his own. She doesn't mention that they aren't his though...it's a big secret. |
Interesting. I've heard similar accounts before...
Isn't it only a matter of time before the father notices that the children don't really resemble him or his side of the family in any way?
It sounds reprehensible of course..but she was in a desperate situation I guess. Ideally korean women would be able to independently support themselves and their families in this society so that this sort of scenario would not be needed. |
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jvalmer
Joined: 06 Jun 2003
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| Posted: Sat Nov 28, 2009 9:02 pm Post subject: |
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| nautilus wrote: |
| Burndog wrote: |
Yeah, I've got a friend who got pregnant to a Japanese guy while she was living i Japan. He did a runner, so she came back to Korea and had twins. She ended up marrying a Korean guy who accepts the twins as his own. She doesn't mention that they aren't his though...it's a big secret. |
Interesting. I've heard similar accounts before...
Isn't it only a matter of time before the father notices that the children don't really resemble him or his side of the family in any way?
It sounds reprehensible of course..but she was in a desperate situation I guess. Ideally korean women would be able to independently support themselves and their families in this society so that this sort of scenario would not be needed. |
More common than you think. Read the article below, I quoted some of the more interesting things.
http://www.canadiancrc.com/Newspaper_Articles/Globe_and_Mail_Moms_Little_secret_14DEC02.aspx
"In the early 1970s, a schoolteacher in southern England assigned a class science project in which his students were to find out the blood types of their parents. The students were then to use this information to deduce their own blood types (because a gene from each parent determines your blood type, in most instances only a certain number of combinations are possible). Instead, 30 per cent of the students discovered their dads were not their biologically fathers."
"A British survey conducted between 1988 and 1996 by Robin Baker, a former professor at the University of Manchester, confirmed the 10-per-cent figure. That seems high to skeptics such as Dalhousie University geneticist Paul Neumann, although even he admitted that "my colleague, who's a woman, tells me women have no trouble believing it. . . . It's the men who can't." "
"Between 30 and 50 per cent of women cheat on their partners, compared with 50 to 80 per cent of men, said Dr. Lipton, a psychiatrist with the Swedish Medical Center in Washington who last year co-wrote The Myth of Monogamy with her husband, David Barash."
Last edited by jvalmer on Sat Nov 28, 2009 9:05 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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endo
Joined: 14 Mar 2004
Location: Seoul...my home
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| Posted: Sat Nov 28, 2009 9:03 pm Post subject: |
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| seoulsucker wrote: |
| This is also probably due to the fact that divorcees are considered damaged goods here...especially women with kids. |
A lot of people in the West feel the same way. |
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ulsanchris
Joined: 19 Jun 2003
Location: take a wild guess
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| Posted: Sat Nov 28, 2009 11:19 pm Post subject: |
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| I read in the paper before that Korean men who are divorced want to marry a foriegn woman because they think that the foreign woman will listen to them better and show them more respect. |
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