Korean Job Discussion Forums

[Keepongoing]

I can be and most of my life have had very close friends of the opposite sex. In Asian countries, I don't think that is a popular trend, and in Moslem countries it is virtually impossible. In Korea,my friends are mostly, if not all, men. But in my past I have had some great female friends. I have one who has been sending my mail to me for the past 20 years and lets me use her address for banking purposes. I really appreciate her and count her as a dear friend. In the States, it is easier to have female friends.

[reactionary]

It's pretty hard. Attraction can get in the way. And, let's face it, the vast majority of girls are not gonna want to hang out with me and some guy friends at the bar and I'm none too eager to go window shopping in Myeongdong on a weekend afternoon.

[VanIslander]

my best friend in grade 3 and 4 was a girl

and i had a good friend in university who was a woman

i don't think Koreans even understand the concept

it IS a cultural thing

[fermentation]

I don't know if its just a Korean thing. I've had this discussion with American dudes. I guess it depends on the person. Almost everytime I had a close female friend, we ended up dating.

[storysinger81]

I've tried, and it just feels uncomfortable in Korea. When I was single, I did have some male Korean buddies I hung out with one-on-one, but even though my fiance wouldn't mind me continuing to hang out with them, to me it feels strange--like I'm dating guys when I'm going to be married soon. It's just easier to keep male friends if they are hanging out with both my fiance and I--together. However, guys I was friends with before Korea and western male friends I have no problem hanging out with one-on-one, even now.

He doesn't have any Korean female friends from his past (never stayed friends with exes or anything), but he has one or two foreign friends who have left Korea (he has LOTS of male foreign friends). We have lots of mutual female friends, and he's hung out with some of them one-on-one, but I think he likewise feels uncomfortable without me there.

He doesn't ever worry about it, but if I were hanging out alone with another Korean male and ran into people he knew, it would be very awkward because there are different cultural expectations.

You can be friends with people of the opposite sex, but generally it's easier to do so in groups or with your significant other present. Otherwise, most Koreans assume you're dating.

[redaxe]

I think Americans really like the concept of opposite-sex platonic friends, but most of the time we're fooling ourselves. It only really works when you're both not attracted to each other at all. But it's tricky because some people that are not immediately attractive when you meet them become attractive after you get to know them better.

I stopped doing the language exchange thing here because it always turns into a date even if I don't really want it to. So I only have one real platonic opposite-sex Korean friend, and she's my friend's wife.

[abigolblackman]

In high school I had an equal amount of male and female friends, chalk it up to honors/AP classes and coed sports teams.

In college I believe most of my friends were female. While some platonic relationships started up out of initial interest, many would just dissolve into friendship. I mean the kind of friendship in which you call each other just to say hi, go out for lunch and just lunch, and ask each other for advice. I actually liked that, although most of my girlfriends and my mutual friend's boyfriends sometimes (or many times) expressed feelings of uneasiness.

I has this discussion just on Sunday with my one, platonic, never had sex with Korean female friend. What's funny is that we did meet in a club, but for whatever reason we just ended up being friends and I don't see any romantic attractions between us whatsoever. All other Korean females...well, like I said, one, platonic, never had sex with Korean female friend. I have a few gyopo and western female friends that I wouldn't ever think about dating, but even then, the number pales in comparison to the genuine relationships I had in college.

One more thing, I only consider 5 males here to be real "friends" as opposed to associates or just people I know, so the numbers are down across the board.

abigolblackman

[chonga]

Just watch "When Harry Met Sally."

I pretty much stick to what they have to say. guys/gals cannot be friends without the sex/attraction thing getting involved.

I don't have any female friends I don't find attractive. I find all of them to have at least one attractive physical feature. And yes, I'd probably have sex with all or most of them but at the expense of the friendship, choose not to go that route. But that still doesn't mean it's not on my mind.

Not sure if its my maturity level or not, but I don't think I could be friends with a female I find totally unattractive on every physical level.

[jvalmer]

Unless both parties are really revolting, I think it's impossible for a girl/guy to be "just" friends. While one person may think they are "just" friends, the other is most likely, on occasion, sexually fantasizing about the other.

[GwangjuParents]

In 99 percent of all cases, it's not possible.

[Old Gil]

All of my Korean friends in Korea are female. I don't get it, it was the exact opposite back home. I'd actually like to make some male friends but I'm leaving in a few months and the guys I've hung out with give me the willies, please don't hold my hand ok?

[I'm no Picasso]

[Dharma_Blue]

[RobertGR]

I've always had close friends of the opposite sex including one Korean. Sometimes sex just ain't gonna happen. I can live with that.

Won't say I don't have occasional sexual fantasies but I can accept they'll never become reality and don't try to act on them.

[Draz]

I have male friends and female friends. It's pretty rare that sexual attraction will interfere with my end of the friendship, and I don't care too much if my male friends secretly want to bang me. I just don't want to hear about it.

If one person has feelings for the other, that's different. You can't be friends in that situation. Very very uncomfortable.