Korean Job Discussion Forums

[rabidcake]

I am curious to hear about people here on this site that are either a) married with their Korean wife and b) people that have divorced with their korean loved one.

If it's ok, I want to hear some of the difficulties and things that have kept you two together if you are together, and some of the reasons why there was a divorce between both of you if you had a divorce.

Please answer my poll question if you are married with a Korean wife still, or are planning to or already had a divorce.

This is male-oriented, I'm curious to hear about women who marry Korean men, but this poll is directed towards males.

[T-J]

We will celebrate our 15th anniversary in June.

[exit86]

It may help if you first explain why you need to know about such marriages. If you are a guy contemplating marriage, I think you'll get
a lot of very informative replies (including my own). If you are a uni kid or someone working for some type of Korean business or governmental agency, trying to gather more info on "foreigners" your inquiry may be
greeted far less cordially.

You gotta give info to get info.

[jvalmer]

I wonder if the keep stats on this stuff in Korea or in America?

I know one of my friends K-American, one older one younger sister. Both married white Americans and both divorced within 3 years. The older one lasted a 'long' 6 months. No idea why they're divorced though. But they guy's parents would now freak if he didn't marry Asian.

[rabidcake]

[tall_dave]

[john110375]

I've been married to my wife for 10 years and we just had twins. We met in America and lived there for 7 years before coming to Korea. At first the culture differences were difficult but after the first couple of years we overcame that. As with all marriages it takes alot of work but in the end I don't regret at all marrying her. Now her parents are another story^^ㅋㅋ

[bluelake]

It'll be twenty-six years this July (the paper marriage). We then had ceremonies in Korea and in the States. So, I tell people I've been married three times (to the same lady). That means we'll celebrate our 78th anniversary late this fall

[Forward Observer]

I think one of the most difficult aspects of marriage to a Korean (or any non-westerner) that people from North America can wrap their heads around, is the issue of "our money" vs. "my money". If a person can't accept that they are no longer single, and that the money they used to spend on themselves is now going to be shared, saved, or used for "the family", they're going to have a very hard time staying married to a Korean.

I only say this because of all the arguments I've seen on Dave's regarding "my money" vs. "our money" - where the wife wanted to control the spending, and the husband repeatedly refused to give up control because he was used to spending as a single guy. It's a huge point of contention for western guys. I think that any responsible individual can see that setting a budget for themselves and their spouse is a smart thing.

[redaxe]

[exit86]

OP,

Sorry, but I still don't think your intentions with this thread are very sincere.

1. Yes, you are a uni student--where?

2. May I ask your ethnicity?

3. It seems you are already biased in your approach to this subject, esp. looking at the title of your thread "Problems with Korean-foreign marriages" as well as your instructions "Please answer my poll question if you are married with a Korean wife still, or are planning to or already had a divorce."

A bit of advice in regard to data collection and polling:
1. you must pose your questions in an unbiased manner
2. you mustn't begin with a belief/assumption, then use your research to intentionally prove this belief/assumption "true" (It seems you've already assumed such marriages are bound to fail and are looking for reasons
why, without carefully analyzing all evidence which states otherwise)
3. you must establish a repore with the folks you are questioning based on honesty, forthrightness, and trust. (Sniff sniff . . . what's that smell?
Do I smell a rat? Hmm . . .)

4. Who is "foreign" to whom here? (You may want to avoid using that term if this report of yours is a serious sociological inquiry.)

5. Why not ask for female input on the subject? I think you must look at this from all angles. Hmm, does your report not care about the female perspective; or, is this not an issue with you if it involves Korean men marrying non-Korean women? (Why does the old phrase 남존여비" come to mind here?)

6. "someone of another race"????? News flash: the 1800's were finished a long time ago. "Race"???????? Is this dealing with marriages between homo sapiens sapiens and homo sapiens koreanus????? (86 this outdated term, esp.--as with my note to point 4--if this is a serious intellectual issue here)

7. So if you are still in uni, but don't plan on getting married for a long time, why are you worried about this topic? (I still smell that smell . . .
smells like some type of rodent or something)


Overall, I feel like this is some sort of project for you--maybe for school or some type of publication. If this be the case, I would recommend
a different method of research.

Sorry dude, I wouldn't trust you as far as I could throw you with my personal experiences. I'm too afraid I'll be reading the newspaper or watching TV and see my info broadcast for the next (white, Western male-hating) Korean civic group to pursue their own skewed political agenda.

Happy hunting.

[naturegirl321]

I thnk cross cultural marriages, whether to Korean, CHInese, whatever are difficult. Sure, you can learn the language, but getting used to the little cultural differences is MUCH harder.

[shaunew]

I have been married almost 5 year. I have two sons. Best decision I have made was to marry my wife. I do not look at her as Korean or Asian just my wife the person I feel in love with.

The only bad part as someone mentioned is the in-laws. When I was a teacher they complained that I was an English teacher and I would never have the money to buy an apartuh and samsung fridge, t.v., washing machine and car. I started a company now they complain that I should invest my money here or there or give them x amount of pocket money.

[Nester Noodlemon]

My wife is wonderful!
The in-laws are good, overall.
Friends and others that have ties have been great and very welcoming.

[ms.catbc]

I find it interesting that your question was so gender specific.

are you not interested to know about Foreign women married to Korean men?