Korean Job Discussion Forums

[tired of LA]

So I have been dating my Korean girlfriend for almost 3 years now and we have started to talk about marriage. In one of the talks, she brought up signing a prenup. Now it isn't a traditional prenup in the sense that it would protect our assets incase of divorce, but rather a sort of penalty prenup, in case the marriage ends in divorce because of infidelity. Basically, she wants me to sign one that says if I ever cheat on her and we get a divorce, she would get everything, and vice versa. She says she won't get married without one, so would you sign one?

Now I have never cheated on her and don't plan on to. But the idea of signing something that could potentially leave me penniless when I'm 45, or even older. becuase of a mistake doesn't seem all that smart to me.

[anjinsan]

Wow! This is surprisingly progressive-minded on her part.
Sounds like you've found yourself a keeper!

[kinerry]

this is probably a worst case scenario.

a traditional prenup makes sense, but why would she want you to forfeit all of your assets to her?

sounds like an easy way for her to make a buck.

do you know the standard of proof for infidelity in Korea?


this is red flags all over...run for the hills buddy. this wreaks of "I don't trust you, so I think I'll get paid!"

[rayray123]

Sounds like a bad idea to me.

[redaxe]

One word: RUN!

[rayray123]

[tzechuk]

It's actually not that simple to prove infidelity in Korea for various reasons.

For a start, it is illegal to hire a private investigator here. So even if you got one and got evidence, you cannot present it to the prosecutors.

Secondly - ALL proofs must be witnessed. So let's say you got a PI (which is illegal to begin with - but let's say it isn't), the PI takes pictures and you take them to the prosecutors, the pros. are going to ask if a third party was present when these pictures were taken. YOU are going to have to find alibi to prove that a third party was present.

So in order to prove infidelity, you pretty much have to be caught in-the-act, and not just by the wife, but by the wife/husband AND someone else.

And another thing is, little known fact even to Koreans - pros. don't really like having to deal with cases like this, so unless there's third-party proved evidence, they don't give a toss.

One more little known fact, as a bonus - according to the Korean laws, it is NOT illegal to have sex with another person once your divorce papers are turned in. The judges presiding the case who revealed this said that once your divorce papers are turned in, you have then clearly indicated your intention to separate, thus engaging in sexual activities with other people is not deemed unlawful.

As for the prenup - it does sound fishy to me. She knows that even in Korea the court isn't going to grant her 100% of all assets even in a case where the man is found guilty of infidelity.... but without knowing her as a person and understanding the real reason behind why she is doing this, it is hard to say what her real motives are.

Good luck, OP.

[outkast_3000]

I believe what passes for infidelity is actual sexual intercourse, and the evidence has to be pretty concrete. The evidence can't be circumstantial or weighted - it has to be concrete. Once again, this is only to the best of my knowledge. In Korea, it is illegal to cheat on a spouse and there have been attempts to get this overturned, but none have succeeded.

In any case, I don't think you drunkenly making out with a girl in a club would pass for cheating - unless that's how it ends up getting defined in the pre-nup. If the potential pre-nup says, strictly, that only sexual intercourse with another woman would count as infidelity, I'd say that'd be the equivalent of no pre-nup since she'd have to have a private eye tailing your every movement to ever catch you in any wrongdoing.

I'm not condoning infidelity by the way, I just think it's a hollow pre-nup for her to force on you in the first place - same with the infidelity laws of the country in general. It's not to say that people don't get caught, but once again, to the best of my knowledge, the evidence has to be pretty damning for anything to stick in court.

[conrad2]

This is just some kgirl princess posturing nonsense. Like when they ask you "how much do you love me." She is not serious. I doubt a prenup like this is even possible. Why not a prenup along the lines of " if you cheat on me I get to cut off your balls."

[daemyann]

It is nonsense.

Tell her you'll sign an equal payout prenup, or you'll be happy to remain unmarried with her, or by yourself if necessary.

This is serious.
Do. Not. Sign.

[nomad-ish]

[conbon78]

If you are truely serious about this girl, which I would imagine that you are considering you are talking about marriage...

This seems pretty important to her, but also very drastic. Why don't you try to see if she will lighten up on the terms, maybe if it wasn't so extreme, then she would agree to them. Put in things that she cannot touch, like your pension, or whatever. Just a thought. Otherwise, get out now.

[tall_dave]

[Cerberus]

this is not a standard pre-nup. I'd willingly sing a standard prenup if she came into the marriage with a lot of assets as opposed to what I brought in.

this stupid piece of paper I would never sign.

[redaxe]