Korean Job Discussion Forums

[Radius]

The boring type of girls. a fine breed here in Korea...

Have you ever gone on dates where your brain is scrambling on overdrive trying to think of the next topic to talk about, because the girl sitting across from has the same personality as the wood on your front door?
I mean, im a hakwon monkey edutainer all day, then on top of that i have to be one on dates?
Do these girls ever break out of their shell?

she speaks GREAT englishee too, its just when i begin to feel the beads of sweat forming on my forehead---bc i know when i finish this last sentence i have nothing left in my head to say---I want to scream at her to say something! anything! is there no fear of awkward sliences in Korea?

Luckily i always suggest we get coffee, so the caffiene will jumpstart my brain to think of the next conversational topic to talk about. lol pathetic. I am not boring to be with, anyone who knows me knows that, its just that I need a little teamwork in this thing called a conversation.

so, i sit there rattling off anything to talk, babbling like an idiot, and thinking at the same time if it was something we already talked about it. i cant afford to not be on top of the conversation, because she WILL just sit there if i dont initiate. well, not all the time, but it will definitely reach the awkward moment stage little too much for my liking.

i feel tired after the date. drained.

i guess its just the typical "boring" dates or boring personalities i hear described every so often, but what can you do to remedy it? go to a club and dance so you dont have to try to prod a conversation out of her?
suggestions? comments?

[PigeonFart]

I am certainly no expert on this particular topic...especially with the korean ladies. So i'll just wish you luck and hope they play their part too.

Equality is all we're asking for...korean ladies are not actually used to being equal i guess, so maybe they just expect all the work to be done for them in the initial courtship phase.

[mimis]

I'm no relationship guru and don't know much about what rocks Korean ladies' boats, but if you have to try THAT hard, it just might not be the right match for you. There has to be some chemistry. Date someone else!

[Radius]

[mimis]

Then by all means, rant away

[DorkothyParker]

It seems you are not compatible. She is the way she is. I don't think it is a good sign to describe someone as having "the same personality as the wood on your front door." I'm sure she's very pretty and your heart and your sex organ are encouraging you, but if your brain isn't with it, this isn't working.
There is no right or wrong way to hold a conversation, it's about compatibility. She needs to be with someone who doesn't mind the sound of their own voice or just silently enjoying one another's company. You need someone who participates actively in discussions.
Just move on.

EDIT: Oh dang, you got hella replies when I was typing this up. Ahh well.

[kabrams]

Why do people always go out for coffee on dates? If you barely know the person...you're not going to have anything to talk about. (This is just a general comment, not really toward the OP).

Active dates are so much better, because you actually "go through" something together and have made a memory/something to talk about, haha.

[Kurtz]

These days I save myself the trouble and cost of a date by just walking around with a cardboard cutout of a Korean girl, as many men would attest, it amounts to the same thing as a real Korean girl.

Sure, I might get a few strange looks, especially when we sit down and have coffee and I pull on her cord that makes it look as though she is agreeing with me.

I do have to keep an eye out though as sometimes one of those old ajoshis you see collecting waste paper tries to pick her up, but I have to say, this one is with me.

[PeterDragon]

To quote a friend of mine "Korea creates a lot of generic people." Including women who have nothing else to say beyond the scripted small talk. Even if they have a unique or creative side, they've been raised to be ashamed of it.

It's not all Koreans, though. Keep trying. And remember--- boring train wreck dates can happen in any country--- they just happen more often here.

[redaxe]

This is why I try to avoid having conversations with sober Korean women. They are much more interesting when you get them drunk.

Seriously though, in East Asian cultures silence is not considered awkward. It's actually OK to not talk.

[jiberish]

Don't date boring girls. Pretty easy.

[nautilus]

[Radius]

[SeoulFinn]

You! Not again! Do you ever post anything that doesn't have to do with women/relationships? No, I guess you don't.

Dear Radius, I decided to write to you about one important thing. Life can be so much more than the endless pursue for sneezing your babyseeds through your urethra opening. That's all I have to say.


SeoulFinn


PS. I do admire your effort to get *beep*. I really do. Good luck with it!

[Steelrails]

I date boring nice girls and go to the boardgame cafe or out for coffee or a walk in the park...and as soon as I'm home I'm boozing. My buddies- "Church girl date again? See you at 11 at the bar. Don't worry I'll have smokes for you."

I go out for booze with a girl and the next day I'm thinking about how that's totally not a good thing in the long-run. "I'm at that age where I'm supposed to find a nice calm girl who likes to go for walks in the park, reading together, or seeing a musical."

Fail. No, failure is decisive, I haven't even earned that. Failure is 20-62. I'm at 42-42 but missing both the playoffs and a high draft pick. I'm the Portland Trailblazers of dating.