Korean Job Discussion Forums

[sparkx]

Before getting to my question I need to preface it by explaining something about myself. In no way is this intended to be a self-indulgent diatribe but rather a precursor to my inquiry.

I have travelled to quite a few countries, many of which could be described as "developing". I have mentioned on a previous thread that the greatest experience of my life was when I worked in Amerindian villiages in the most desolate and remote areas of South America. While there I, along with all the other volunteers, made genuinely strong bonds and friendships with the locals.

I remember sitting and talking for hours on end with middle-aged men; their leathery faces worn from years of unprotected sun exposure; hands calloused from backbreaking manual labour and their eyes wrought with milky cataracts. Nearly all of these men were illiterate and many had never stepped foot outside their village nontheless their country.

What I remember most was the unmistakable feeling that I was in the presence of pure, unadulterated wisdom. Even though these men had never worn a suit, flown in a plane or even read a book, this wisdom was palpable.

Many of their vices were similar to that of Koreans - wanton drunkeness (although their posion was rum not soju), staring (worse there than here -- villagers would literally watch us sleep) and violence (again -- far worse than in Korea. Multiple times I had money stolen from me and many other volunteers were robbed at machette point. We even saw a full blown machette fight where one unfortunate villager got diced up like a Christmas ham). What's funny is than no one held these actions against them. If anything these abberations added to the adventure. I left feeling as though I made REAL friendships with pure, solid folks.

Anyways, my question is this....

Why do many teachers (myself included) feel differently towards Korean adjasees?

On multiple occasions I have found myself sitting down with a Korean man who is well travelled, has an excellent job and all I see is superficiality. No wisdom, no enlightenment....nothing. I sit there with a forced smile on my face biding my time till I can get the hell outta there. Language is not the issue. Many of these men are near fluent - much more so than locals from other countries that I became tight with.

*This is not intended to be a Korean bashing thread but rather an introspective, self-evaluating inquiry. At the same time I would prefer if the apologists would refrain from the tired, trite, "not all Korean men are like that..." or "I am married to a Korean man and he is wonderful..blah blah blah." I would really like to hear compassionate, intelligent responses since this actually weighs pretty heavy on my soul.*

Why do so many open-minded, well travelled individuals feel this way?? Or maybe it's just me...

[Zyzyfer]

Because that business dude is a dork, pure and simple. I've met some rockin' old dudes in Korea, but they tend to be more like what you described at first, as opposed to suits who travel.

I guess it's one reason to be glad that I don't live in Seoul; I don't have to deal with random English encounters. I swear, whenever I go to Seoul, it's like I'm not even trying. English this, English that. Compared to where I am, it's a cake walk.

[sparkx]

Zyzyfer wrote:

[sid]

The problem could be that as a foreigner you are more likely to encounter (or be approached by) guys with some vested interest in you being a English speaker, even if it's just the momentary prestige of showing off that they can speak to you. They're less likely to come across as genuine, down-to-earth etc those things which make us like somebody.

[rapier]

The answer is that they live their entire lives in pursuit of the wrong things. Money and prestige is all they're after. Image is all that counts. This is why they're so uninteresting. They also see themselves as superior alpha males of the master race.

[Zyzyfer]

[kiwiboy_nz_99]

If you learn some Korean you can have some better encounters. I have found that the markets are the best place to meet the wise old people you are talking about. Though, I must admit, the friendlier ones have all been female. They love the fact that you have a few Korean phrases and it doesn't have to be much to get thier respect, and maybe it helps them to see you as more just a "foriegner".

[waterbaby]

[har]

I have two thoughts on this subject. One is that I have seen and been smiled at by those wisel men in Korea. I don't live in Seoul. We don't have conversations, but on more than one occasion an elderly man has smiled at me knowingly. And I can read in his expression, not only kindness also understanding. The nod and peircing look says hat a brave soul you are to come here, a young woman so far from home and family'. A couple of the most touching experiences here so far. Wise men do reside here.

My other thought relates to the language barrier. We don't really understand them when they try to express themselves in English. Think about your own capabilities of expressing yourself in Korean. What impression do you think you would give? There is an ajassi in my neighbourhood, who was quite pushy about being my 'friend'. I finally consented to go out with him, and he put the moves on me. With his poor English I was really offended by his attitude. What he said, and what he meant however were two different things. The guy is trying to tell me in MY language that he is unhappy and admires western women. All I got was sleaze. Not his fault. I don't think he's a bad guy, but without fluency doesn't sound very smooth.

[har]

No wait, that's not all.
We are just as hung up on youth, beauty and material things too. We just think it's more sophisticated not to talk about it so openly. And there are people back home that know this is bullshit, just as there are here

[waterbaby]

[sparkx]

[sparkx]

[BTM]

I think I understand what you're getting at, slippery as it is, and feel the same sometimes.

I tend to think that the strictly-timed life path that Koreans are forced to take - or face ostracism - has a fair bit to do with it. This is, of course, not limited to Koreans, but it seems to reach a pinnacle of, well, cruelty, here.

When you have very few choices in what you can do with your life - school, then more school, then military service, then more school, then marriage ASAP, then kids ASAP after that, followed by a lifetime dedicated to raising those kids to live the same empty life you've been pushed into, well, I think you tend to be a less interesting person, in many ways, unless you somehow find a way to expand your mind and your horizons through hobbies, or travel, or something.

That latter escape doesn't seem to be that common for your average ajasshi - he's more likely to take his weekly mental vacations at the bottom of the soju bottle, and leave a trail of puke and tears and top-of-the-voice singing on the way back home to his wife and kids, his little concrete human beehive prison cell.

Now this sort of thing is common back home too, if less so these days - I know a lot more men who have lives, thoughts, dreams, hobbies, personalities and families too, who don't totally identify themselves through the fruit of their loins and their paychecks. I suspect this is a change, though, from say 20 or 30 years ago, and that 20 or 30 years from now, many Korean men will be less locked into the money-family-money-die ratrace.

Maybe.

[edited for spelling whoopsies]

[Butterfly]