Korean Job Discussion Forums

[pres82]

Recently I recieved an email that was just really odd. I'm not sure how they got my email address, but I doubt it was a coincidence that they were soliciting for an English Teacher, and I once taught ESL.

I now work for a Korean company, and occassionally have down time in the offfice, so I decided to have some fun with this low-life.

This clearly fits the standard 'Nigerian Letter Scam.' So who knows, maybe this email originated in Itaewon.

Here is the original email that I recieved:


FROM: Kuang jiahui [email protected]
Dear Teacher J*****,
I am Dr. Kuang JiaHui of XiangZhou District, Zhuhai city. I
worked with XiangZhou People's Hospital before I relocate to
Chester Road WA6 OHY United Kimgdom
few months ago and right now, I am
in search of a professional International English Language teacher
who can take my 2 kids, young and Niu in English
classes I want you to know that i currently have someone who takes
them English but
he is not dedicating much time that i want my family to be giving,he
has another job which
doesn't make him have enough time for teaching.
My family are thereby not progressing in English which is the much
more reason i prefer to hire
someone who will relocate and will be able to teach and at the same
time access there learning
The job is for one year so that they could adapt well in English
before i will enroll them into private schools here.
My Kids are my treasure so I offer to pay you 3,500.00GBP if
you will take up this position. I will provide you an Accommodation,
furnished with a Television Set, and Internet Ready computer. A
vehicle will be available also for Mobility if you can Drive.
I need your updated resume for me to discuss more about you with my
family and also talk to your references. Applicant Must be willing to
relocate.


Regards,
Dr Kuang
B252, Paul Robeson House
1 Penton Rise
London, WC1X9EH
+447024028273


I didn't change the formatting, that's exactly the way it came. This letter is suspicious for obvious reasons. I sent the following reply:


Ni hao!
Thanks for contactin me. Dis soundz like a great opportunity! How
can I learn mor about tit? I hav alwayz wanted to visit England and
see buckingham palace and the eiffel tower. What do I need to do to
get started?

First of all I wll tell you some about myself. I have a degree in
English from Clemson University. I like cats, and I love to cook. I
do not cook cats, however. I kno dat your culture sometimes does
that. So please dont do that when I'm in ur house, ok? I have taut
English for 7 years in Asia. All over the place. Japan. Korea.
Thailand. and Tennessee.

I should warn you that I will require at least 2 day off per week.
Also, I wish to have publik holidays, and 2 weeks pay vacation. If
you want that to be during your Chinese New year, fine by me.
Fireworks scare my cats. I *have* been charged with several counts
child molestation. However, I was never convicted. I warrant that
these charges were unfounded. Nevertheless I cannot go back to the
state of Main until 2017.

If you have anymore questions for me send email.
Best Wishs,
Mike Hunt.


This fella apparently decided those were pretty epic qualifications. He replied to me with this email:


Dear Teacher J******,
How are you doing today and i hope your week has been going on great.
Thank you very much for keeping back in touch.
I want you to know that i currently have someone who takes them
English but he is not dedicating much time that i want my family to be
giving,he has another job which doesn't make him have enough time for
teaching.My family are thereby not progressing in English which is the
much more reason i prefer to hire someone who will relocate and will
be able to teach and at the same time access there learning.
The Start off date that i want the offer to begin is 30th Of November
and it will be for a period of 12months.Let me know if this is OK with
you.
Talking about my family,starting with myself,I am a Radiation
Oncologist by profession,we relocated here to England not long ago due
to the nature of my job.Before we relocated,i have been visiting
England mostly on Work Basis but my family do not like the idea of me
being far away from home and moreover,i found this environment
suitable enough for me,so i made the decision of relocating with my
family.
Talking about my children,they are currently enrolled in a school
over here in England but due to there inability to speak write and
understand English very well,they do not like going to school,which is
what i am fighting against.If I'm to grade there English skills,i will
say my children are like 30%.Young and Niu are 9 and 7years
respectively.
Talking about your working hours,lets be looking at 6hours per day.
Concerning the hours,the working hours i have in mind is 6hours per
day including breaking time and excluding weekends.I was thinking when
you get here,you can go ahead and conduct a test for them to check
there skills and you will then know what exactly they will be needing
and how you will be preparing your time table as well as your
curriculum.Then i can as well drive you down to a bookstore nearby to
get all the things that they will be needing.I hope this idea of mine
is OK or let me know if you have anything other suggestion as well.
Talking about the Salary,i will be paying you 3,500GBP per month as
well as 300GBP which will be for your HEALTH INSURANCE.
Also,there will be 2 weeks paid vacation twice a year.Everything will
be explained in the CONTRACT LETTER that i will be sending to you
later on,once everything has been finalized between us.
The apartment you will be staying is located at the back of my main
building but in the same compound as mine.Its a private building and
you will be having all the privacy you will be needing.
Concerning your fligt ticket and your bank account oppening ,my
immigration lawyer will be the one to take care of that,i will be
referring you to him when the processing of your papers begins,after
we have finalized everything between me and you.
.You can call me on +447024028273,so we can discuss better on
phone,its best to call me on weekdays anytime,so far im not busy with
patients,i will be able to talk to you.I will find time to give you a
call as well.
I need your updated resume for me to discuss more about you with my
family and also talk to your references. Applicant Must be willing to
relocate.

Regard
Dr Kuang JiaHui


Really dude? I just told you I was a pederast and you want my CV? Then you shall have it:


Dear Mr. Kuang Jiahui-somethingorother

It's delightful to here back from u. I will begin with an updated
resume about me. Pay attention. First of all I obtained a B.A in B.S
at Clemson University. I had a concentration in Mobile Bovine
Mammography, with an empahsees in Manually Assisted Lactation. I
graduated with Honnors, Suma Cum Loude.

Next I work a Coop program at B&J's Auto Recovery. My boss Mr.
Thompson. My duties here were to change VIN numbers from one car to
another car. I work here for bout 5 month.

Nex after dat I work for good job at Steely Dan's Eqquestrian Cenner.
(I know you Chineese may not have Eqquestrians, but that mean horses.)
Here I had practical experience using my earned degree. I assisted
hands-on in the atoficial fertilization center. While these animals
were Bovines exactly, I still use the Manual Lactation Assistance
technique to acheive desired effect. Takes a bit longer on a boy horse
though.

Next I work at Greenville County Correctional Facility. Here I
supervise Laundry Facility along with my ol friend Mr. Thompson. I
was there for 8 months about. Job included room, board, and 3 meals.

After that, I work teaching English in Thailaind at the Katooey
Training Academy in Pat Pong. This jobalso include room and board.
One year. Children ages 10 - 15.

Nex I go to Japan. I work there 3 months on tourist visa. Teaching
people in they homes. Sushi sucks.

Next I go to Korea. Lots of jobs there. I work for many schoos in Itaewon:
Wolfhound Center for Kids Who Want to Read Good
Friendly's Language Center
Old Town Seoul English Academy
Seoul Pub-lishers
B1 Private Academy
Roofers Center for Linguistik Developmen
Hongdae Park University

Lemme tell you some more about mysself. I was born in Germany. This
is good new sfor you! That means I am an EU Citizen, and you will not
have to hire your Immigration Lawyer! Because I already hold an EU
passport, I can work anywhere in the EU as a citizen. We will not
have to do any special paperwork!

I left Germany at the age of 3. My mother move to America and left
that Kraut basterd that got her pregnant in germny. She marry
American army man. THen we Americans. English is my frist language.
like Albert Einstien I began speaking copmetently at the age of after
10. I attended Hi School and pass the SAT. No chile left behind
thanks to Bush. While in college I spent my recreational time
assisting in a labratory. We were responsible for the manufacta and
distribution of Medicine to the needy citizens in the trailer park.
THey would knock on the door all the time begging for mroe medicine.
I felt good know I help those in serrious need. AFter that place blow
up, I decide science dangerous and focused my attention workin on
animals.

You may think my focus on working on animals is not good for teaching
English. But I have lots of experience with English. I have been
speaking it every day for over 10 years now. While I have not taken
care of chilren directly, I do have experience taken care of my mother
and step father who were both akaholics. Drunk people and chiren a
lot alike. First, they fall down a lot. B, they can't talk right.
Thrid, sometimes they throw up. Four, they might hit you for no
reason. They cry and don't know why. Then they suddenly happy again.
Also, they don't listen.

I believe I am the best option for you! I can start soon as possible.
Please respon to me immediate. I am very excited about this
opportunity. Also, can you provide me with a picture of you and your
family? I look forward to hearin from you soon.
Cheers,
Mike Hunt.



I really wanted to emphasize that I was an EU citzen because I figured out the scam. Apparently you have to pay the lawyer a few thousand bucks in "immigration fees." I intend to nip that one in the bud. Surely, this was to be the end of our communication. Alas, this fellow gets bored in his office too:


Dear Mike Hunt,
Thank you so much for sending me your resume ,
I'm very happy to hear your interest.I will go through your CV with my
family and get back to you OK so i will like you to answer this few
questions for me.

1.Have you ever been offered this kind of position
before.

2.What is your present employment status with your current

3.Do you interact freely with kids.

4.What are you extra curricular activities.

5.Kindly explain in few word how you believe that you will be
the right person for this offer.

6.Your current marital status.

7.Whom can i get in touch with amongst your relatives to
ask some few questions about you from the person.Email or
phone number of the person.

8.Do let me know the date that you will like to take up this job.

looking forward to hear from you soon.

Regard
Kuang

I couldn't resist:


Ok thanks for hollerin back so quick. I am going to answer you
questions best I can. Pay attention and lemme know if you have any
more questions. OK?


1.Have you ever been offered this kind of position before.


Yes! You should have read my CV more close, and you would have knowed that.


2.What is your present employment status with your current


Single.


3.Do you interact freely with kids.


No, I always charge for my service. Usually an hourly rate, but we
can also negotiate a salry monthy or yearly, or annually.


4.What are you extra curricular activities.


These days I like to spen my time reading up on the classics, catchin
squirrels, cookin, and practicin yoga.


5.Kindly explain in few word how you believe that you will be the
right person for this offer.


Cause I'm awesome.

6.Your current marital status.

I never been married. I shacked up a few time. Never anythin
serrious though. It's like womens' always be "nye nye nye nye'n."
Talkin bout where you been, who you wit, how much you drank? I said
woman don't choo worry none bout me. I'm on the purple drank you know
I can't be interrgated like she some kinda police. So I tell her
chill the *beep* out. Guess I aint to good at women.


7.Whom can i get in touch with amongst your relatives to ask some few
questions about you from the person. Email or phone number of the
person.

Well my uncle Derell, he Choctaw indian. He don't like no damn email.
You can call him (757) 455-0100.
Nex my cousin Boudreaux. His english ok. Better creole. Call him
(504) 816-3000

All these phone numbers in America.



8.Do let me know the date that you will like to take up this job.


I spect I can start real soon. November ok.



Fun Fact: Those are the phone numbers for the Fairfax and New Orleans FBI field offices.

Next our friend sent me an employment contract. It's pretty obvious that he isn't reading this crap to well. The contract is in .pdf form. Not sure that I can post it here. But it's pretty hilarious. The signatures don't even remotely match the names. It looks like a 5th grade hack job. Guess Nigerian Scam artists can't pirate photoshop.

I'm trying to decide if I should sign this, send it back, and see how far it goes. Thoughts? Interest?

[Chet Wautlands]

Keep going!

[ThingsComeAround]

Ask him to forward you an advance for mummy next time

[bekinseki]

What you have to do next is get him to send you a picture of himself holding a sign that says something funny.

Or convince him to join your religion. Or have him perform a Monty Python sketch.

[chrisinkorea2011]

[hogwonguy1979]

[Zyzyfer]

Hah, nice!

"It's like womens' always be "nye nye nye nye'n."
Talkin bout where you been, who you wit, how much you drank? I said
woman don't choo worry none bout me. I'm on the purple drank you know
I can't be interrgated like she some kinda police."

[Died By Bear]

[bekinseki]

Once I was contacted by a 419er in Korea. I told him I was in the country, so we could meet up. He wussed out.

My favourite time, I had two 419ers going, and I told them I was coming to Nigeria. I gave them both my (fake) name and arrival time, and told them both to be there with signs. I never showed up, but I only hope both of them arrived and met each other, and had a fight over which one gets me.

[Gamecock]

Clemson University??? Where I'm from everyone knows it's spelled Clempsun!

I can't believe your future employer missed this obvious typo!

[Quack Addict]

Fun Fact: I went to school with a mormon named Michael Hunt. Poor fellow. I'm suscribed so keep it going.

[lithium]

[pres82]

Unfortunately our old pal has had his account disabled. Too bad, I was really looking forward to having fun with this guy.

On another note: GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAME!

Delivery to the following recipient failed permanently:

[email protected]

Technical details of permanent failure:
Account disabled

----- Original message -----

Return-Path: <***@gmail.com>
Received-SPF: pass (google.com: domain of ***@gmail.com designates 10.204.148.68 as permitted sender) client-ip=10.204.148.68;
Authentication-Results: mr.google.com; spf=pass (google.com: domain of ***@gmail.com designates 10.204.148.68 as permitted sender) smtp.mail=***@gmail.com; dkim=pass header.i=***@gmail.com
Received: from mr.google.com ([10.204.148.68])
by 10.204.148.68 with SMTP id o4mr9527063bkv.21.1319161097582 (num_hops = 1);
Thu, 20 Oct 2011 18:38:17 -0700 (PDT)
DKIM-Signature: v=1; a=rsa-sha256; c=relaxed/relaxed;
d=gmail.com; s=gamma;
h=mime-version:in-reply-to:references:date:message-id:subject:from:to
:content-type;
bh=JrU3/x1nk1n3AmeMcu/aMYNmkEADu31UNAdle5HwwfM=;
b=YvSz6JjkH6hjwCP7FiUpZb7hvXHMQ9q+GdZwq8T/QzWOm8dtR0lufeFtgbnySbB8Ug
ETJ7+MpyuJiFCt7X8uAwiaKLTZRKEVJtJKD3fYVXXFoYAT2cJDfj26vS0tRlm+Eq7O/T
07Gout+cGNUySz7zOEScSvDetq6k+dO4Qo1wc=
MIME-Version: 1.0
Received: by 10.204.148.68 with SMTP id o4mr9527063bkv.21.1319161097560; Thu,
20 Oct 2011 18:38:17 -0700 (PDT)
Received: by 10.205.82.144 with HTTP; Thu, 20 Oct 2011 18:38:17 -0700 (PDT)
In-Reply-To: <CAAuZZN1SggzwQDZCuwj57aQGP-tzL0FuGQpijvZh_qGvtiyHng@mail.gmail.com>
References: <CAAkk-hSvtzGdnuoz5YfneTYENW7FMrFieG8euqEXSpWspZ4WAQ@mail.gmail.com>
<CAAuZZN2575rKmzi4RNDO-kWWBhAZgBxM1MUN2DE3M9A2SpdrCQ@mail.gmail.com>
<CAAkk-hR0rn_afys7ATcvt2G1mOdd8FmArzugtOQO89QVU=oC1A@mail.gmail.com>
<CAAuZZN1SggzwQDZCuwj57aQGP-tzL0FuGQpijvZh_qGvtiyHng@mail.gmail.com>
Date: Fri, 21 Oct 2011 10:38:17 +0900
Message-ID: <CAAuZZN2bsAygBub4XG65ey7nrvUY3-+AFc_NoFNsvvWO=L2ztw@mail.gmail.com>
Subject: Re: CONTRACT AGREEMENT LETTER
From: xxxxx<[email protected]>
To: Kuang jiahui <[email protected]>

[Gamecock]

Cooooooooooocks!

[sirius black]

OK, its obviously a scam. I get that part. However, I'm a little slow in understanding the end game. What is scam artist looking for eventually? Copy of your docs? A bank account number? What is the end game?