Korean Job Discussion Forums

jhuntingtonus · Joined: 09 Dec 2008 Location: Jeonju

I'm looking, and the cupboard's pretty bare for available women with decent English aged 35 to 65 here (I'm 53), so I want to cast a wider net. I'm well versed on the literature about workplace romances in America, where actually people are hypocritical - they recommend to avoid it, but a vast number actually meet, and often marry, that way.

So beyond that, what can you tell me about trying to go out with teachers (not my official co-teachers, where it would be a real problem if it ended)unconnected to me in the public schools where I teach? Any special dangers? Do principals or other authority figures get especially angry when miguks do that sort of thing? Any other considerations I should know?

Thanks yet again!

eamo · Joined: 08 Mar 2003 Location: Shepherd's Bush, 1964.

I think you might have a lot more success joining an online dating agency. There should be lots of older divorced women in Korea, if we're to believe the divorce figures here.

ThingsComeAround · Joined: 07 Nov 2008

Depends how much they (admins) like you. Really.

I know of a few people that got involved with people in the workplace. One of the got married, another had a bad breakup. But in the eyes of management, it was fine for both of 'em because they were 'popular'.

If you do decide to embark on a relationship, then for goodness sake KEEP IT SECRET. Don't tell anyone. Not even your dog or goldfish.

It doesn't matter if you haven't dated in all 53 of your 53 years. Tell one soul and they may say you're a "player" here to steal local women and break hearts Rolling Eyes

Good luck

Aelric · Joined: 02 Mar 2009

My only advise would be the same everyone should have: expects VERY different expectations on the relationship. If the lady you date is in her 50's and divorced, then she might just be intensely conservative and your courtship may need to promise marriage very early on and with a short timeline.

If she has grown children, that might prove a bit more problematic here than it would in the west as well. These are theoretical, however. Not to discourage you, but I myself can't see dating the locals again (albeit I'm in my 20's) due to severe differences in expectations, so I wish you luck.

oldfatfarang · Joined: 19 May 2005 Location: On the road to somewhere.

I had a mate who had an affair with a teacher from his school (not co-teacher). After about 6 weeks of keeping it quiet, she did the K thing and took him down south to meet the rellies. (I warned him what that meant.) Needless to say when she put the M word on him, he did a midnight run. Probably the stupidist (and the smartest thing) he's ever done.

bluelake · Joined: 01 Dec 2005

Hmmm... My one and only romantic interest here in Korea ended up being my wife (that was twenty-six years ago) and she was a teacher in the same high school where I taught. However, she taught science, not English. Still, we tried keeping it quiet, and didn't let anyone outside the family know about us until just before our wedding ceremony (by which time we had already been legally married for over two months).

We started out as friends, which became more as time went on, and I'm sure other teachers noticed. Often, she would pretend indifference to me in front of other people to make them believe she had no interest in me, but I doubt our secret was all that secret...

Everyone's experience will be different, but mine has lasted a long time. If marriage is not in your plans, go cautiously with workplace romances.

sesyeux · Joined: 20 Jul 2009 Location: king 'arrys

jdog2050 · Joined: 17 Dec 2006

Yeesh; not to be a jerk, but you're over 35 and need someone to tell you not to *beep* where you eat? Wink

shcforward · Joined: 27 Sep 2009

Depends on where you are working, but I have to agree with ThingsComeAround.

Keep it as secret as possible. If some of the older, more conservative Koreans find out a K-teacher is dating a foreigner in the same school, there can cause some major problems. Depending on where you are at, it wouldn't even matter if you were Korean, they would give you grief until one of you transferred to a different school.

Seriously, you could ruin someone's career just because of a fling. Play it safe.

ladron · Joined: 20 Feb 2006

Pa Jan Jo A Hamnida · Joined: 27 Oct 2006 Location: Not Korea

Well he is in...

Never mind. Neutral

ttompatz · Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Location: Kwangju, South Korea

Teaching at a public school?

Don't date your co-workers (goes without saying) for all the common sense reasons.

On the good side however, about 20% of your students' moms will be divorcees.

No problem with dating those. Start up a parents class at your school. You'd be surprised who you will meet.

.

wylies99 · Joined: 13 May 2006 Location: I'm one cool cat!

jhuntingtonus · Joined: 09 Dec 2008 Location: Jeonju

tzechuk · Joined: 20 Dec 2004

My personal rule of thumb - don't date people you work with or it gets messy.

HECK - one of my co-workers told me he really liked me last year and I told him no because we worked together.. we still work together but things got so out of hand (his part, he was hurt by the rejection pretty much) we actually have to avoid each other now.