Korean Job Discussion Forums

[JFuller317]

This is getting a little disturbing. I teach middle school, and a lot of the students are telling me they love me. It's cute when kids do it, and when the boys do it, it's pretty funny, but it can get a little weird when 14 and 15 year old girls say it repeatedly and rather seriously and get disappointed when I don't say it back.

I'm kinda hoping that this will just fizzle out and I won't have to give them a serious talk about what's appropriate and what's not, but if it doesn't, what's the best way to go about this?

[skim234]

[ChilgokBlackHole]

Let me guess...first time in a classroom?

[JFuller317]

First time in middle school. I taught elementary-aged hagwon students last year, so when they said it, it was just cute.

[Captain Obvious]

Newbie Alert!

[8 years down]

Tell them you are married. It will stop after that.

[jhuntingtonus]

Say "thank you," or "I like you too."

[Unposter]

Korean students often say I love you but they don't mean it like romantic love.

Though, sometimes, middle school or high school kids like to say it because they know it will weird you out. They can say things to you in English that they can't say to others in Korean. They don't really mean it. And, obviously, you should not react to it. And, my guess is if for some reason someone was stupid enough to reply seriously, the girls would turn tail and run.

[toadkillerdog]

I teach at a Uni'. I have one student who sends me e-mail everyday telling me she loves me. She also will drop the love word in a normal chat. Sad to say but only 5 weeks into the semester she will most likely fail my class. Guess that will end all the love.

[The Goalie]

Why not wait and see if it fizzles out? In which case we won't have to be party to your disturbing erotic speculations. Students get crushes on their teachers. Whether or not they have breasts really shouldn't factor in, by which I mean an elementary school crush and a middle school crush are the same thing. Be equally nice to every student, boy or girl, and you can't go wrong. Oh, and yeah, say "Thank you", or "Really?", or something equally innocuous when they say they love you.

[The Gipkik]

The repeated "I love yous" are part of living in an authoritarian culture. Enjoy it, but don't take it too seriously. And don't let it inflate your sense of self. Just imagine how hard it is to take when university girls are telling you these magical words and hugging you and inviting you out and waiting for you after class and following you home and asking you if they can come in. This was the crazy situation in Japan and Thailand. Most EFL teachers in the same sitch cave in. I would have if I wasn't already seeing an incredibly attractive ex-student doctor. At the middle school age, they are role playing, so don't let it get to you. Just think of it as a taste of things to come.

[ChilgokBlackHole]

I've heard "I love you" before, and I respond with "Then impress me. Get back to work."

[carleverson]

[Manuel_the_Bandito]

The other week I punished a student myself after much begging and pleading from her not to take her to her homeroom teacher. After school she spotted me walking home from way down the street and screamed, "TEACHAH!!! I LOVE YOU!!!!"

Another only in Korea moment.

[perelandra]

I tend to use the "Really?" response with a smile and walk away, ha. Sometimes "That's not going to make me play a video" or "You still have to do your worksheet" ends up being my reply, depending on the student confessing, ha.

I can see how some students would be more persistent about getting an "I love you" back -- I've had a few that would sit there and repeat the phrase, with hand motions and prompts, clearly trying very hard to get me to respond. The most I've ever caved was, "I love all of my students," but whenever I say something like that, I always have someone in my class listening in to the conversation who will shout, "Lie!" -- hah.

I guess for the chicks who are overly sincere, you could use the "Thank you" and / or "I like you, too" response and then say something about only planning to tell your fianc� those three words to explain it to her a bit.

I really don't think a lesson on the different usage would be inappropriate - just make it more of a "this is how it's used in country x, country y" lesson -- you could throw it together with gestures (in which countries do people kiss on the cheek, in which countries do people hold hands in public, etc.) That way it would be more of a cultural lesson than a "you keep telling me you love me and it is starting to stress me out" lecture.