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AsiaESLbound
Joined: 07 Jan 2010
Location: Truck Stop Missouri
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 Posted: Thu Apr 22, 2010 8:11 pm Post subject: Do U write lesson plans for nat curriculum? Co-teacher Issue |
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I stopped after lesson 1 for 3rd and 4th grade, due to my co-teacher domineering the class and randomly doing as she pleases, but expecting me to read her mind on what she expects out of me. She never plans lessons nor prepares and does all her prep during class, but doesn't want me taking the lead with my teaching and supplements though requests for me to do all the prep and planning. For a month she changes every conversation to, "You need to lesson plan to make and keep promise to our happy students." She even makes mistakes like accidently showing inappropriate videos and just doesn't have it togethor.
For one month, we've been having a personality conflict and this morning, we got into a shouting match with her starting it. I have 2 co-teachers and the other one told me to stay at the school during the school field trip yesterday for me to sort by level and organize our English library so I did that. She accuses me, "What have you done? You didn't do anything. You should had lesson planned for me yesterday! You should had gone to field trip with me yesterday for our students!" Come this morning, my bad co-teacher is mad at me for not going on field trip yesterday. She would not accept my answer that the other co-teacher told me to work at school. She then gets mad that I didn't prepare her lesson plans and give her new ideas as well as teach American culture. She then says, she doesn't have time so she needs me to do it. Fine I say, but you need to listen to me in cooperation with me in and outside the classes. She disagrees. You need to stop being so immature right now, listen, and actually teach and allow me to teach what I plan and prep. When I wrote lesson plans for her class at the beginning, she ignored them and just improvised while standing in front of me and interupting me every time. The whole time she has put me on the burner and my fuse has ran out with her dislike for me. I outright told her we have a personality conflict. She agreed. I said, I want to work with you, but you need stop distancing yourself, expecting things without my knowledge and communicating with me.
I out right told her she needs to quit giving me silent treatment and be willing to communicate with me as I can not read minds. I got her to agree to that. We still don't like each other, but I also made it clear I was an assistant teacher and it's reasonable for me to lesson plan and help her, but that she needs to be in cooperation with me as a team; not indifferent.
I am tempted to report this issue to the coordinator boss now that we had a yelling match this morning. Should I just go ahead and report up? I'm supposed to use her as going up the chain, but don't have to if something is getting in the way of doing so such as her refusal to help or cooperate. She gets in trouble if I go over her head as I found out before by accident. For instance, one month ago, my co couldn't help me with a banking issue so I asked my coordinator for help which wasn't a problem for her to solve. Since then, my co has been mad at me and hating on me for ignoring her. Yes, she accused me of ignoring her when I communicated ahead of time I was seeking our coordinators help with the bank matter as she couldn't do it after trying. I thanked her, but she took this very personal and it broke our ties. She really is an immature little girl, but a married 36 year old with 2 kids. I just don't want her to cause any more problems. |
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bcjinseoul
Joined: 13 Jan 2010
Location: Seoul, Korea
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| Posted: Thu Apr 22, 2010 8:41 pm Post subject: |
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If your contract ends this summer ride it out. Sounds a bit like some of the stuff I went through last Nov/Dec. Actually, my story was worse. Much worse. I have a new head teacher now, and a mark against my name, although I still teach with this person. We just don't look at each other, and she's like a ghost in the back of the classroom. I just have 7 weeks of teaching left after midterms the next 2 weeks, and July and August will be a cakewalk with no coteaching --camps. I'm done with public schools after this contract.
I've thought about saying something on the way out...but I probably won't. This wasn't my first time in a public school, but it's my last. I do not see the point of having native english speakers such as us in public schools out here. The kids are not getting better, and the the people we're forced to coteach with ain't that great. The vacation time sucks too. 4 weeks off instead of 2 at a hogwon? That's it? There are better deals, and they're not in EPIK/GEPIK/SMOE.
When you report her, if you still have 10 months left, she will make your life miserable. Wait till the end of your contract, and write something professional to your local BOE...she might never teach English again. |
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oldfatfarang
Joined: 19 May 2005
Location: On the road to somewhere.
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| Posted: Thu Apr 22, 2010 8:52 pm Post subject: |
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| bcjinseoul wrote: |
When you report her, if you still have 10 months left, she will make your life miserable. Wait till the end of your contract, and write something professional to your local BOE...she might never teach English again. |
Sadly, she will teach English again. She will just put in her report that the OP doesn't like Korea/Koreans/Korean culture/food etc.
Everyone up the chain will nod knowingly, and stamp the form.
OP. Getting stressed over these people just isn't worth it. Think about the money - and if it gets too bad - just leave them in the lurch. Frankly, GET's deserve much better treatment than this.
Good luck. |
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Fishead soup
Joined: 24 Jun 2007
Location: Korea
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| Posted: Thu Apr 22, 2010 9:39 pm Post subject: |
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The key is to submit all the lesson plan style paperwork she requests. You should try to give her your input if she rejects it fine. If you get a really nasty Co-teacher learn to SNIP her/ him. This is a great art. There are many Korean co-teachers that don't want us here. Sometimes they will be doing things to deliberatly piss us off. They are feeding the fuse hoping that we'll take the bait and blow our stacks.
SNIP= Smile Nod Ignore and Proceed as usual
In Korea usually the first person to get really mad is the person who loses out in the long run. |
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AsiaESLbound
Joined: 07 Jan 2010
Location: Truck Stop Missouri
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| Posted: Fri Apr 23, 2010 2:16 am Post subject: |
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| Fishead soup wrote: |
The key is to submit all the lesson plan style paperwork she requests. You should try to give her your input if she rejects it fine. If you get a really nasty Co-teacher learn to SNIP her/ him. This is a great art. There are many Korean co-teachers that don't want us here. Sometimes they will be doing things to deliberatly piss us off. They are feeding the fuse hoping that we'll take the bait and blow our stacks.
SNIP= Smile Nod Ignore and Proceed as usual
In Korea usually the first person to get really mad is the person who loses out in the long run. |
Luckily it was her who got really mad first and raise her voice first. Mad over me not going on field trip yesterday, but didn't know I was instructed by my other co not to go though she wasn't willing to take that as an answer even though my other co told her right there on the spot. They fall flat on their faces when it comes to communication due to my problem co having serious personal problems of always being sickly, exhausted, burned out, and distancing herself. I made it clear a lack of communication on her part and distancing herself and then claiming I don't do a good job is only making matters worse. She agrees, but will not come out of it. It's her personality problem getting in the way. She doesn't want me in the classroom teaching with her so I asked her if she'd like to go back to having her homeroom class alone like she had last year. She said yes, but says her principal wants her to teach English. I told her to tell him it's not a good fit for you, because you can not work with me with your feelings the way they are and we are having personality conflict. I've tried and tried to do good for you and our students, but you keep creating a problem. She agrees to everything I say and understands, but will not change her view, because she's immature and sick.
She's having me rewrite every lesson plan down for each period since March 2nd, because wants more ideas for next year and just to piss me off. She fails to plan and prep anything, but won't let me teach anything either outside of introductions. She complains I don't share ideas with her, but when I try, she blocks me, shuns me, interrupts me, and distances herself. I told her about this today and she agreed to knowing and said that it's her own personal problem. I asked how we can fix this problem so she leaves work 45 minutes early claiming to have a head ache and needs to pick up her other son.
Is it time I just start ignoring her, go through the motion in her classes, and just SNIP her? She'll just continue having time eating problems while placing blame on me due to not opening her mind to my ideas that can save time and improve our teaching. She makes me mad, becuase it's a good job I enjoy other than her creating this problem. I'm hoping she quits, but that's unlikely as she's on 4 year contract. She probably isn't going on maternity leave as she already has a 4 year old and a 10 year old, but also was very flirty with me in our 1st month indicating she was wanting something more out of me. She started hating me a month ago upon realizing I didn't have romantic feelings so she accused me of ignoring her, but wouldn't say about what. I was very confused at that point, but it all added up. I can vouch to this, because during our first month she was always clinging to me in close physical body contact, proudly showing me off to all the other staff like she had just snared a new toy, harping on about how I was so handsome and nice continuously, and asking me everyday if she was a beautiful woman. This is a 36 year old woman I'm talking about.
Flirty immature thang needs to look elsewhere outside of work and not expect to get something's that's not part of the deal. Not only does her breath stink badly, I wasn't going to date a co-teacher and definitely not a married lady of any sort. What was she thinking? Me to love her? Good gawd, that's not my job.
Last edited by AsiaESLbound on Fri Apr 23, 2010 2:33 am; edited 1 time in total |
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PigeonFart
Joined: 27 Apr 2006
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| Posted: Fri Apr 23, 2010 2:31 am Post subject: |
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You work in an institution where the people are institutionalized. And a Korean institution at that!
Ideas are not welcomed, the organizational culture is not flat, innovation and initiative are not welcomed either. I wouldn't wipe the shit of my shoe with these institutionalised hangooks. All that's expected is timewasting paperwork. They're so inefficient and dis-organized. |
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AsiaESLbound
Joined: 07 Jan 2010
Location: Truck Stop Missouri
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| Posted: Fri Apr 23, 2010 2:39 am Post subject: |
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| PigeonFart wrote: |
You work in an institution where the people are institutionalized. And a Korean institution at that!
Ideas are not welcomed, the organizational culture is not flat, innovation and initiative are not welcomed either. I wouldn't wipe the shit of my shoe with these institutionalised hangooks. All that's expected is timewasting paperwork. They're so inefficient and dis-organized. |
Oh man, talk about inefficient and disorganized. She never knows what she's going to teach, which video she's going to show, and just expects me to read her mind on what she expects of me. As you can imagine, this leaves her disappointed. I specifically told her today that I'm not a mind reader and she needs to be talking to me. She agrees, but it's obvious she'll never come out it.
As for ideas not being welcomed, it's her that's pressing the issue for me to produce more ideas. And then when I produce, she blocks me. That makes me bad too. I told her at 4pm to just stop it, if she can't be positive and open minded, then just stop and not expect whatever it is you expect that you fail to communicate. She said, "Yes, I know, it's my problem." So stop creating a problem. Nothings wrong here, we are doing great for our students, and you are always so down on yourself and me. Why? "Yes, I know, it's my problem." No, it's now OUR problem since I have to work with your problem. She complains she has to work Saturday, so I tell her I'd never do that and it's not in my contract as those conditions offer no quality of life. She leaves work early at that moment claiming to have headache and needs to take a rest. I was even generous enough to offer her ibuprofen and tell her I felt bad for her having a high stress level, but she declines and rushes off. |
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The Gipkik
Joined: 30 Mar 2009
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| Posted: Fri Apr 23, 2010 4:22 am Post subject: |
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| AsiaESLbound wrote: |
Oh man, talk about inefficient and disorganized. She never knows what she's going to teach, which video she's going to show, and just expects me to read her mind on what she expects of me. As you can imagine, this leaves her disappointed. I specifically told her today that I'm not a mind reader and she needs to be talking to me. She agrees, but it's obvious she'll never come out it.
As for ideas not being welcomed, it's her that's pressing the issue for me to produce more ideas. And then when I produce, she blocks me. That makes me bad too. I told her at 4pm to just stop it, if she can't be positive and open minded, then just stop and not expect whatever it is you expect that you fail to communicate. She said, "Yes, I know, it's my problem." So stop creating a problem. Nothings wrong here, we are doing great for our students, and you are always so down on yourself and me. Why? "Yes, I know, it's my problem." No, it's now OUR problem since I have to work with your problem. She complains she has to work Saturday, so I tell her I'd never do that and it's not in my contract as those conditions offer no quality of life. She leaves work early at that moment claiming to have headache and needs to take a rest. I was even generous enough to offer her ibuprofen and tell her I felt bad for her having a high stress level, but she declines and rushes off. |
Let me take a wild guess here: you are both female and you're around the same age. Jeez. Don't talk to her like she's just a peer. And don't let her get away with saying something like "yes, I know, it's my problem." Contradict that one immediately. With tact and a SENSE OF HUMOR. She sounds immature and she probably can't handle stress. You need to change your approach--and how you present your "wonderful" ideas. The old adage sounds about right for your case: you win when you lose. Consider her input when you talk about your ideas, negotiate them, and offer to take some of her input on board. Use her stuff in your lessons. Organize it in a logical way and let her think that her input was important. Lesson plan together or, if this is inconceivable, bandy ideas about your lesson plans with her without implying that they are part of your lesson plans, and get her input. A bit of praise. A few compliments can make the ouchies go all away. |
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Kurtz
Joined: 05 Jan 2007
Location: ples bilong me
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| Posted: Fri Apr 23, 2010 5:23 am Post subject: |
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OP,
Another long, plaintive text from you written under distress.
You're getting used as a punching bag by this woman, sounds like a similar thing that happened to me when I too resisted the advances from a bored, married ajumma.
Sure you can try win her over with gifts, or just accept you're stuck with this wench. Just do the lesson plans as asked, try switch off when you go home, and save your money.
Try and accept what you are doing. You're teaching EFL in Korea, not re-inventing the wheel, not saving lives, just put things in perspective. Don't take things so damn seriously. I do my job and go home. Try do the same.
For the record, my lesson planning with one co-teacher takes about 10 mins, the other co-teacher wants me to teach everything alone with no help and that's fine with me, she is totally useless and without a creative bone in her body. |
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AsiaESLbound
Joined: 07 Jan 2010
Location: Truck Stop Missouri
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| Posted: Fri Apr 23, 2010 6:39 am Post subject: |
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Oh yes, I did the lesson plans and offer new ideas, but she's never satisfied and just antagonizes me. It was only a matter of time before I decide to stop being her punching bag, being nice to her, and today I decided I had enough so I had several direct talks looking her straight in the eyes. She acknowledged her creating these problems, but won't agree to stop. She just says it's her problem, but I say it's now our problem since she's making me mad and jeopardizing our working together for the students. Even accuses me today of not smiling enough. Yea, duh, you are making me unhappy with your immature behavior so how could I feel happy around you? Monday, she's getting another talking to about how our students already know there's a problem, because they are so sensitive to this and I can see they feel insecure in our classroom. Nevertheless, she just repeatably goes on and on how she loves them, but is so immature and taking her shortcomings out on me. I think I will have to bring our coordinator into this mess.
A gift might make her temporarily act better which would be the same situation as giving candy to a little kid which is not something I'm going to get started. Giving a gift in attempt to alleviate or prevent bad behavior is a real no no. Would you reward bad behavior? Only works in the short term. She tells me I'm a good teacher at times; other times tells me I'm bad. She's a roller coaster mental case, the kind of lady no guy wants to be with for long. It's bad to be so personal at work, but she is due to something lacking in her personal life. She's definitely not getting love and hurting inside, but I'm not here for her. She's begging for me to compliment her repeatably that she's beautiful without having to ask just for self assurance. When she stopped regularly asking me if she's beautiful a month ago, that's when she turned ugly and accused me of ignoring her. I tried for a month to ignore her immaturity, but she wouldn't stop and just got really bad to the point we had a yelling match this morning. It's an inferiority complex. I think our boss needs to be enlightened come next week. |
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