Korean Job Discussion Forums

Badmojo · Posted: Sat Mar 13, 2004 4:38 pm Post subject: Would you do an office romance?

Normally I wouldn't ask this question. But living in Korea isn't a normal situation. And I wouldn't ask either if the girl wasn't Korean, but she is.

I'm think I'm ready to start up a relationship with one of the girls in the office. And I'm 95% sure I'm going to do it.

BUT... is there anything specific to Korea that I need to know about? I'm not talking about the cultural differences in terms of behaviour on dates etc. I'm talking about the fact that I work with her and share the same office. Are there different repercussions here if it doesn't work out? What were the results of other office romances? Bad situations? Good ones?

Let me have it.

Life is more interesting with complications. Wink

Thunndarr · Joined: 30 Sep 2003

Think about the precautions you would take back home to keep the relationship a secret. Then do that, times ten.

Jensen · Joined: 30 Mar 2003 Location: hippie hell

PDAs are disgusting. Don't even look at each other at work. No talking, hand-holding, notes, giggling and sure as hell no kissing. Otherwise, just bang away. Anyone gives you some crap, tell them I said it was alright.

Paji eh Wong · Joined: 03 Jun 2003

Do a search for a poster named "Derrek"

Badmojo · Posted: Sat Mar 13, 2004 7:30 pm Post subject:

OiGirl · Joined: 23 Jan 2003 Location: Hoke-y-gun

J.B. Clamence · Joined: 15 Jan 2003

How many months do you have left on your contract? And are you willing to deal with the inevitable awkwardness that would come about if the two of you were to break up? Every girl is different, so how maturely do you think she would deal with working together with her ex-boyfriend? I'm not saying that the relationship is doomed -- just something to think about.

Jensen · Joined: 30 Mar 2003 Location: hippie hell

peppermint · Posted: Sat Mar 13, 2004 9:37 pm Post subject:

Check posts from both Derrek and a recent thread from Rapier in the off topic forum .

Think about how awkward breakups are. . and now think about the fact that you'd either have to deal with that or one of you would have to leave the job.

Badmojo · Posted: Sat Mar 13, 2004 10:35 pm Post subject:

rapier · Joined: 16 Feb 2003

The problem arises because some of us are worked too much and lack the free time to date outside of work.. When I didn't work saturdays, I never gave my workmates a second thought because I had time to get down to the bar and meet women unrelated to work...

Personal opinion: Avoid these scenarios! - particularly if you actually are strongly interested in the person. Why?, - because if it turns sour, you will be hurt and suffering more than her. And Korean women gossip about everything. The Korean staff will know everything about you, and follow the whole thing blow- by- blow to keep them entertained in their miserable bored little lives.
On the other hand, if you are slightly attracted in a take-it-or leave it way, go ahead. Because if things go wrong, you're not going to care too much or be affected by it.

Ultimately, as a rule, Don't date someone from your workplace. Don't even let it cross your mind...

Tiger Beer · Joined: 07 Feb 2003

One of my co-workers (foreign guy) was having a relationship with our boss. Anyhow, he'd bang her after work, often take breaks together, and get something on at times in the women's bathroom (maybe just talking I don't know - but a number of times he'd come out of there a few minutes after she would).

Ultimately it became quite obvious they were indeed seeing each other, although I thought she did quite well to hide it. He tried as well, but in my opinion, made it a bit obvious at times. Usually just by showing strong familiarity with her than would be normal for a boss.

Anyhow, it lasted about 2 months with tons of drama. In the end they both quit working there. She was the first to resign and he followed shortly thereafter. He said now that he no longer talks to her or has anything whatsoever to do with her.

At the time he was really into it because it made work fun. But he also seemed to be on an extreme mental rollercoaster over it as well.

rapier · Joined: 16 Feb 2003

Badmojo: "life is more interesting with complications"... true, but there are plenty of opportunites for complications outside the office..
You sound as if you're embarking on this as a diversion, something to amuse you.. be aware that if things go wrong, she may come off a whole lot worse out of the deal than you.
Its fun to have harmless flirtation in the workplace, but tension, no. I mean, do you really need to have her on your mind while you're supposed to be preparing for and tackling your work issues.. are you prepared for whatever possible outcome. K-gals can be hardcore playas. They can lead you on for their own amusement, their signals can be hard to interpret.. she might already have a boyfriend.. she might fall for you, or you for her...it could get nasty.
If you're set on this, make sure to get to know her well first. If you make any moves prematurely, there can be unknown and not always pleasant surprises.
Korean girls are notoriously group people. They prefer to do everything within the safety of group outings, with the backdrop excuse of soju etc. If you ask to meet her one on one, give a good reason, such as you need her to help you with Korean, do a bank transaction, anything plausible. Otherwise she'll see it virtually as a marriage proposal. Make sure she's genuinely interested in you before you do anything. Some of the more stunning ones are a tease.... And..no matter how secretive you think you are, people will know, and talk. In my experience, theres rarely, if ever such a thing as watertight secrecy. I can basically tell what people in my office are thinking and did last weekend just by looking up from my desk...
My thoughts...

kangnamdragon · Joined: 17 Jan 2003 Location: Kangnam, Seoul, Korea

the_beaver · Joined: 15 Jan 2003

There is something that always astounds me about this basic topic.

There are over 22 million women in South Korea. Accounting for age differences, let's say 2.2 million (10%) are in a doable range. Knock off 75% to account for those you have no attraction to, and you're still left with over half a million women.

With that many options you could (theoretically) shag a different woman (or talk philosophy or have a coffee or whatever) every night for well over a thousand years.

I never understand why guys shag their students or dip their pen in the company ink.