Korean Job Discussion Forums

[AsiaESLbound]

Have you had a co-teacher who always conflicts your every effort as well as chews you out questioning you for not starting class 10 minutes early due to not being told about the change and then stop you during teaching your first lesson with her and your new students to start a confrontational argument about you taking 1 minute too long on a topic? I wasn't doing anything wrong nor controversial and I was putting on a very happy fun attitude to make a positive first impression on new students only visiting my school for this week so I welcomed them which they positively responded to, but their visiting Korean teacher dissed in disgust. It happened during our 1st camp class together yesterday when a student expressed happiness towards me and said, "I love you and your school is awesome." These are high level smart students, the best in our district, so they are very good and know what's going on around them. She expected me to just rush it all and start teaching new students with no introductions and just rushed me and students since the start. Today she just rushed me and the students even worse to the point she ordered me to help students cut out things to make mini story books so I helped, but told her we can't cover all the book in the amount of time. Bali bali! "Students hurry, we don't have time!" She didn't even allow breaks until I called her out on that today by putting it nicely that 10:20 is our scheduled break time. I tried to explain to her in a nice way our camp book is big and not intended for us to cover all of it, but gives us many options on what parts to teach. She just gets insecure and defensive with contempt. It offers us some flexible teaching freedom, because it's supposed to be made fun for the students unlike curriculum that will be tested on. She's angry that I don't agree with her hurried work style and go with the flow like a marching soldier under her command. We have a clash of interests, values, and lack of cooperative communication which disappoints me to no end, because she's insecure. This is one B who is insecure. The way I seen her talking several times on her cell phone was incredibly rude and bitchy with many, "uuuooh uuuoooh, uuuuoooh! uuuuooh," sounds and sucking air through her teeth was a tell tale sign of one seriously negative personality. I feel bad for her students having to put up with this nonsense.

Many of you would say to SNIP her; smile, nod, ignore, and proceed, but it angers me to no end to be stopped during teaching to initiate an argument and then be questioned like a guilty prisoner why I didn't do this or that with contempt. She could simply be mad to have to work during vacation for no extra pay as this is said to be the first camp season my district isn't paying teachers to teach camps, but I don't accept that as an excuse for this treatment. I may not like having to put up with her irrational contempt, but I'm trying to do my job in positive light and she just attacks me time after time even after agreeing to my request that we need to just stop it and get along. If not for us, then only for our students and just leave at that as we don't teach at the same schools during the semester.

If I let her walk all over me, then she may cause me problems, but if I keep rejecting her foul attitude, then she may get vindictive and cause me problems. Either way, she hates me for nothing I did, but for her own personal reasons.

How would you put her in her place other than SNIP? SNIP is face saving and peaceful, but also may tell her I'm weak enough to be her punching bag. I already tried SNIP, but she dug deeper to start conflicts. I already tried to be kind, nice, and cooperative numerous times, but she just keeps doing it. She's an insecure control freak intimidated by me for not logical reason. I know it all too well as I've seen insecure control freak bosses a time or two. It's not just a Korea thing.

[NYC_Gal]

It's camp. She's not your regular teacher. It's not her school, anyway. Ignore her and do what you're doing. DON'T smile at her. Smile at the kids.

As an extra bonus, make a book with pictures of everything that was taught/done, and have the kids sign it and write happy comments, saying which was their favorite activity. Keep it "for your records" and show your principal how happy and educational the camp was for the kids. Also, complain about her cell phone habits to the principal. "She was on the phone in front of the students" etc... (if students were around, of course)

The old hag of a coteacher can continue her miserable existence, and you can smile at people who deserve it.

[AsiaESLbound]

Yep. Good advice. One problem. I didn't take pictures yesterday and today. She's not old, she's an extremely good looking 35 year old woman who dresses to be sexy. Maybe I just need to ignore her and only focus on doing my job as the clock will run us to our finish line and I hopefully never see her again. I know one of my regular co-teachers in our English Zone is leaving in 3 weeks to go back to school and I'll have a new co-teacher so it would be awful if she is transferring to my school. I can't see why she'd transfer to a school only 5 miles away in the same district though, but it wouldn't surprise me with how illogically planned and arranged things tend to be here. She might know something important like this I don't know and trying to show me who's the boss. I only hope not. Dam that's a terribly negative thought.

Sometimes people that really personally like you present a real challenge to get along with at the beginning, but I'm tired of these players so I'm not interested in a long drawn out hard to build a working relationship game some people perpetually play for a living. I can't count how many times I've been though those kind of challenging relations on many jobs where a new boss or co-worker is so difficult for a month or two and then you end up getting along great later on. I guess it's experiencing a challenge together that can bring people together and other times, it's contempt that never resolves. I just can't seem to accurately predict someone I don't know, but I know one thing, I hope I never lay my eyes on her again come Friday afternoon.

[thegadfly]

Personally, I would rather have problems that result from my actions, rather than problems that result from my inactions....

If her English is good enough, I would definitely confront her and call her out about all of the crap she is pulling -- I would do it privately, or possibly in front of a higher-up to serve as a witness, but nowhere near any students, or any teacher that is her junior. I would avoid bad language, and strive not to raise my voice or be accusing, but I would make certain she knew, in simple terms, that what she was doing was harmful to the students' learning experience, and as a teacher who cared about the students, I could no longer stand for it -- yeah, I'd play the "for the children" card, which has worked rather well for me in the past (as it has actually cleared up some real miscommunications, and has, in at least two cases, salvaged a working relationship that seemed doomed).

Good luck to you, however you play it....

[NYC_Gal]

You could draw some pictures, or, if there's time, have the students draw their favorite activity and write the focus of the lesson. I had my students draw monsters and write "My name is (monster name)," when I had a day when only 3rd graders showed up. We also did the same with emotions and weather.

Also, I finish class with tea time. They're addicted to the clover honey from home. Try this, then take pictures of them enjoying it. You only need a few photos. Their drawings (and happy comments) go a lot further. Make sure that they write what they learned!

EDIT: I agree with gadfly. Smile and sound happy when you're calling her out. The students won't understand, and she'll probably look furious and only make you look better. The students will remember her grouchiness and your friendliness.

[AsiaESLbound]

They have already been drawing pictures and doing many activities, but the Korean teacher keeps all that. She actually assigned homework yesterday and today, because you can't cover all the book nor was it intended. One homework assignment was to draw themselves so they brought that back today and she took 10 of them, but put 5 out of the 15 up on the wall that are most simple and show nothing remarkable. She took the best ones instead of displaying them. Odd.

I do not have any opportunity to take charge of the class as my own or keep any of the students work.

It's good advice to put on a phony, but realistically smile and sound happy when talking and responding to her. She conspicuously does it when other adults are around such as during meetings. She's a player so it's good advice to play her instead of feeding into her negativity by arguing. This one extremely narcissistic insecure lady by how she dresses, looks, and acts superior about herself with a wall of defense in her attitude. I can understand a teenage girl being like this, but a 35 year old woman is a bit old to be acting so immature. I'd say it's time for her to check it at the school entrance if she wants to still be this. Her hot pink T shirt she wore today saying, "I'M SO HOT" in light pink bold ABC's, heels with huge rhinestones, and white capri pants, but such an insulting offensive attitude is too much to be in an elementary school classroom. If this were America, I'd just point this out to our boss or parents to take her out of the equation, but this weirdness is tolerated in Korea as if she's considered to be professional. Yes, parents seen her when they came to pick their kids up at lunch time. Weird.

[LL Moonmanhead]

tap it.

just reading about her is making me all....well....

[AsiaESLbound]

[ChilgokBlackHole]

She's not giving you any choices, options, or wiggle-room because she believes that she doesn't have any herself.

[AsiaESLbound]

[Junior]

[AsiaESLbound]

[Junior]

[ChilgokBlackHole]

[The Gipkik]

Sounds like there is some sexual tension between you two--and that's not a good thing in this case. This coteacher is high maintenance. Probably insecure, probably immature, and probably used to getting her own way. You need to be assertive, very assertive. Don't let her rush you. Stop her in her tracks. Just say "wait" and look her in the eyes. Hold out your hand and say "wait" again. If she ignores you, look her in the eyes and say, "excuse me. Wait." If she continues to ignore you or not take you seriously, take a time out. Stop the class, invite her to step outside with you for a moment and have a talk. Stay calm, don't get aggressive, but be decisive and confident in your actions. And follow up your actions with reasons why you did what you did. No whining. No hesitation. Koreans respect this kind of commanding nature.

I've had coteachers who tried to completely take over the class, speak in Korean continuously, and jealously try to win students over by giving them candy all the time. Nip it in the bud immediately. Don't wait.

This "no options" perspective, in my book, is a cop out. It entails an orthodox way of responding to responsibilities and pressures. At 35 this woman should know how to handle herself. She's no rookie.