Korean Job Discussion Forums

[decolyon]

I've been around a while. I'm at a small school where the staff sees each other constantly. We hired a new teacher a while back and it's become evident we're both into each other. I'm not going to go into detail, but we all know the signs of flirting.

I've had a pretty good rule about not "pooping where you eat" that has for the most part, served me well. But this time around, I really feel a connection with this one and I consider her to be especially attractive. Also, it's been a few months since my last break up and I'm ready to date again and really ready for a few other things again. Let's just say, it's been a dry spell.

This only thing is, I can't keep from thinking about all the bad that will come with dating someone you work with. Most of my relationships only last a couple of months. I see no reason why this one will be any different. It just seems like that's the perpetual pattern I've been in the last few years. I accept it, it's okay for now. I'm not looking for anything super serious or marriage or anything like that. But what if this thing goes sour in a few months? How awkward is that going to be to be in such a small environment with another person after you split up? Both of us have a long time before contracts are up, so I don't think there's a chance of trying to outrun it?

So, let me hear your stories. Both successes and failures. Have you dated a co-worker in Korea? Where they a foreigner or Korean (the girl I'm talking about is kind of a gyopo-styled Korean.)

Many thx
deco

[nathanrutledge]

What part about not deucing where you eat/live/play do you not get? You've used that mantra. It's served you well. Why would you toss it out the window now? It's got bad idea written all over it.

Dry spell? That's not an excuse to be lazy. This isn't Schindlers List, you can't just hunt from your bedroom window.

[Louis VI]

[isisaredead]

i say date her. there is absolutely no chance of anything bad coming from it.

[jvalmer]

If you're at a public school, it's advisable to keep the relationship secret. If things go bad, if she is a Korean teacher, it's her career that will suffer.

[lalartu]

been there done that got a tshirt and married her on top of that too

just make sure you dont tell anyone

[TheUrbanMyth]

[Globutron]

According to my kids, I'm already dating at least 3 of the females in my academy.

[Radius]

i almost dated a girl that i worked with. it was a small after school program and, well, it was obvious she liked me. i already had a k-girlfriend but this new K co-worker didnt know. Me and co-worker went out for dinner--i was a scumbag and didnt tell my girl that i was going out with her. a side note: Dont cross a Korean girl, A:she WILL find out, and B: dont get sloppy about it like i did.
So anyway, my girlfriend got my co-workers number somehow from my7 phone, and as me and the coworker were eating and drinking in this enclosed room i noticed she kept answering her phone and leaving the room to talk. I didnt know who it was.....only until my GIRLFRIEND arranged to meet US and popped in there along with my co-worker . My girlfriend made me decide who i wanted to be with right then and there. i chose my girlfriend and the co-worker got a little pissed. BAD situation. bottom line, dont date co-workers. that was my experience---totally Jerry Springer-like

and my co-worker threatened to tell my boss that i tried to play her. i was just having dinner with her, but she thought it was more of a date. my girlfriend said its normal that co-workers will snitch on you for things like this so watch out!
!

[SeoulNate]

that seems like advice to not cheat, nothing about dating coworkers.

[cisco kid]

It's going to be uncomfortable when you want to eject, but why not - it's not like this is the only job in town.

[brento1138]

I know at least 3 different guys who started dating their co-workers, teaching in public schools and hakwons.

Each one of them is married to them now... so... beware.

[Newbie]

Do it.

I've dated co workers about 12 different times ... married one too.

Why pass up the opportunity just to be "proper." We're all grownups, it's just dating. If she goes psycho, who cares. Just makes for good stories to share with the boys over beers.

[conrad2]

[perkxplosion]

Actually I've had a similar situation except it's MY CURRENT DIRECTOR. To fill you in on her she went to NYU for film, her and her husband almost went bankrupt, they divorced and now she's single. She's somewhere between 35-40 but she uh, well, has an amazing body for her age. During the world cup she invited me out for drinks with her brother and some student's parents. Later the brother left, I said it was nice to meet him and he whispered in my ear "no." Which confused me. So after that it was just me, her, and her sister in law. We moved to another HOF after that and we played a soju drinking game. She said you have to drink if you are a "hot guy." Once she was real drunk she was rubbing my leg, touching my face, etc. We came close to making out (she gave me the doe eyes), but I turned away bc I wasn't willing to do it in a crowded restaurant in front of her sister in law. After that we took a cab home and my moron butt didn't make a move. At the same time, I didn't really know what to do since she's my boss...

After that I asked her if she wanted to watch a movie at her place sometime. So, that Saturday she treated me to a nice Italian dinner in Hongdae. She was super dressed up, looked amazing. Once we got back to her place though the vibe was totally different from before. She changed into pajamas and told me to sit in the chair and she sat on the bed. Basically she made it clear for me not to make a move on her. We drank wine, watched a movie, and nothing happened. After that night I was real confused and told her if she wanted to hang out again to let me know.

Fast foreward to a week or two later and we go to a HOF with my owner and a bunch of co-teachers for chicken and beer. She starts talking to me about how lonely she is and all that etc. Then our owner decides just us three (me, my director, and the owner) are going to go to a sashimi restaurant down by the station. It's about a 15 min walk there. During the walk she sorta grabs my arm and we hold hands briefly. I'm thinking "wow here we go again." At the place she explained to me that the Sunday after our date (she didn't reference the date itself) she dumped her boyfriend. Now she's "all alone agian." Wtf. Then she started talking to me about age difference and dating. I'm 24 btw. So obviously she wanted to hear my perspective on it. Of course I said it didn't seem to be a big deal to me. Then she told me she was attracted to me and started to ask what I thought of her but then my owner cut her off when she understood what she was saying and stopped her. My owner knows very little English. Nothing physical happened that night and nothing has happened since then. That was about a month and a half ago.

This situation was super confusing to me. Sometimes I still am kicking myself about not making a move, other times I feel like I did it right, but either way it was probably wise to avoid during my employment at my hagwan since it's my director. All I know is once I'm at my new school I'll probably be in contact with her. As for the OP's situation, I would go for it since it's not a boss or anything.