Korean Job Discussion Forums

[nfld_chingu]

I am about 15 lbs. overweight. I go to the gym and watch what I eat in an effort to change this. I do need to lose weight but I'm not obese; in Canada I think I looked normal and was treated normally, but I guess in Korea all people can see is fat. Korean culture is very thin-obsessed, way more than N. American culture.
I've been told by Koreans that when somebody tells me I am fat, I should say "thank you" because they are trying to motivate me to improve myself. Do Korean people really do this/believe this? When they criticize each other, do they really say "thank you"?
And when they talk about me in Korean right in front of me, assuming that I don't understand Korean, is that considered rude? If they knew I could understand, would they still do it?
I think saying "thank you" when someone critcizes you goes against human nature, doesn't it? I've never known anyone to do this.

[rollo]

You are being played. Next time instead of thank you, try a viscous knee to the groin. the criticism will cease. Keep working out, some good has come of this.

[Kaypea]

We could test the theory by insulting Koreans.

"Hey, you're looking ugly today."

"You smell bad."

[eamo]

Some Koreans drop their normal social etiquette with foreigners.

I'm also about 15lbs overweight and get a lot of comments about my weight. I don't think Koreans do that to each other unless its between family or good friends.

For some reason they seem to think it's okay to comment to foreign people they hardly know about defects in their appearance.

[PeterDragon]

It's because foreign people aren't really *people*. It's no more transgressive in their minds then pointing loudly at a dilapidated building and saying "What an ugly building". Or pointing out how fat someone's dog or cat is.

Been out of Korea for over a month now, thank Christ.

[Forever]

The funny thing is - is you both lost that 15lbs - the Korean people (who know you) would then say to you:

"Whats wrong with you, are you sick?"

"Your face looks much thinner, are you stressed?"

"Are you eating well? Do you have money problems. Let me take you out for dinner, you look like you are not eating properly".


For them, its either you're too fat, (pig) or you're becoming thinner (sick).

Give it a try.

Koreans love being thin, but if you ask any of the thin Korean males. they will tell you they wish they were a little fatter.

Also, being a little chubby (15lbs over your ideal weight) is also considered good in Korea, because it means you are wealthy and successful.

[Fox]

[AsiaESLbound]

I too am like 20 pounds over my ideal healthy weight and get that from my co-teachers and students. I do see many Koreans who are grossly over weight and wonder how much criticism they are receiving for it. Seems like they beat eat other down with criticism as a motivational factor for people to get with the program and conform. I'm a non-conformist myself, but do my work when there's a job to do. Debate and questioning authority doesn't seem to be a part of Korean culture. If you try to debate something, it results in quiet face saving disagreement.

[nfld_chingu]

Thank you everyone for the responses.

Fox, I am actually a "she," not a "he"

I am generally polite to people who tell me I am fat because I understand that it is a different culture. If it happened in Canada, I would probably not be so understanding. However, I get tired of hearing it constantly. I am aware of my fat and don't need it pointed out to me by others, especially strangers. And I don't necessarily want to talk about my problems with random people I don't know.
There was a trainer at my gym who told me I was too fat every day, several times a day, to the point where I was thinking about switching gyms so she would leave me alone (luckily she was replaced by a new trainer who doesn't bother me). I think it is rude, whatever the culture is, and it's not the kind of motivation that works for me. It didn't make me want to work out harder, it made me feel terrible about myself. I was confused when she also told me I was beautiful.
I also get random strangers telling me I am beautiful here, which happens a lot more often than the fat comments. But I am also uncomfortable with that. I used to be flattered but now it's at the point where I don't appreciate it when strangers think they should comment on my appearance. I guess I should just not let other people's opinions affect how I feel about myself, whether they are calling me fat or beautiful so I will aim to ignore it from now on.
Also, "motivating" comments aside, what about when people comment on foreigners' appearance in Korean, because they think that we can't understand? Do Korean people realize that is rude, or is that accepted here as well? This has also happened to me, and in situations where it should not have happened (such as medical professionals, etc.). Those kinds of comments serve no purpose of helping a person.

[jvalmer]

[jmuns]

just tell them they are too skinny. especially if its from a boy, just ask him how it feels to know that you are a girl and could kick his ass. almost all the kids are so skinny and weak in my school they can barely do 5 pushups. when they do them they just look like they are humping the ground!

[lukas]

[jmuns]

[Senior]

[Privateer]

Just to play Devil's Advocate, if people in the West were more critical of small gains in weight, then perhaps more people would nip the problem in the bud before small gains add up to big gains add up to obesity. Better to make a few small adjustments to your lifestyle when you only have 5 or 10 pounds to lose than to wake up one morning and find yourself 50 or more pounds overweight and a long hard diet and exercise regime ahead of you.