Korean Job Discussion Forums

[decolyon]

Hi all,

I've been here for some time. At first, flying solo seemed fine to me. But the more I see some of these gorgeous Korean girls and the more I come home to a lonely empty apartment each day, it saddens me to an extreme degree.

I want to meet someone. I'm not looking for marriage nor a one night fling. I guess the easiest way to put it is that, I just want a girlfriend.

Now, I'm not much of a drinker. I just never took to it like others did. So I'm not one for bars or clubs. Of course I go out with friends from time to time, but I never have the courage or wit needed to just walk up to some girl and chat her up. This whole ritual has always felt foreign or awkward to me.

Some people I know suggested online dating. Using one of the dating sites to meet Korean girls interested in foreign guys. I gave it a shot, but am having very little luck. I consider myself to be somewhat attractive. I'm not model by any stretch. But I dress well, eat right, and exercise. None the less, I just can't seem to make any significant contact with these online girls. I'm starting to think this too isn't for me.

Alas, I'm beginning to give up hope. There are some nice girls at my school, but it's just a bad idea to date people you work with. If things go sour, how awkward is that going to be? While it's okay to be friendly with your coworkers, I think it's best to keep professional relationships professional.

So, what's left? I know back in the States, if there was a girl at a book store, or coffee shop, or at the gym I found attractive; I'd find a way to make casual conversation with her and see what happened. But here, you don't know if that girl speaks English at all or is even interested in dating a foreigner. Plus, there is the social stigma of a Korean girl being seen with a foreigner that she may not wish to visit upon herself. So, approaching random women in casual locations seems to be out as well.

This is seriously depressing me. I'm tired of being alone every weekend. I'm tired of not sharing my experiences with anyone. I'm tired of daydreaming and fantasizing about being with someone. When will this loneliness end?

Please help.

[Died By Bear]

Depends. Are you going to be in Korea short time, or long time? My advice depends on which one of the two applies to you.

[matthews_world]

[wylies99]

Single Korean women tend to congregate in coffee shops. Use that nugget of truth for good, son.

[decolyon]

[DorkothyParker]

How familiar are you with your Korean coworkers. Maybe one of them can set you up on a blind date?

How do people usually meet new people to date? It can't be THAT much different here for you. You might also join a gym/class or activity group to meet like-minded folks? You shouldn't rule out dating other foreigners if you perchance upon one you like.

The world is your oyster, my friend.

[samd]

First of all, ignore 90% of the responses to this thread, especially ones that generalize about Korean women or how to succeed with them.

If you don't like bars/clubs, online dating, or approaching random women in public, then the best way is through 소개팅. Even if you do like all of those things, 소개팅 is the best way to meet people here, in my experience anyway.

[Slowmotion]

If you wanna better your chances, learn Korean.

And watch out for online dating, a lot of psychos on there. They are online searching for a reason!

[sirius black]

So many factors to explain why. I would say that generally speaking its not the most difficult thing. Generally. However, there are a few factors to consider.
Are you in a big city or small town? Do you speak any of the language.
I say most of it dependds on you. I know lots of guys who have dated a variety of women and many that have had no luck.
Looks is one thing but even some not so looking guys I've known have been very successful dating korean women.
There is a general belief that if you date regularly back home, generally speaking, you can get a korean women.
I think there is some truth to it. Yes, there are cultural differences but at the heart of it, men are men, women are women.
If you're charming, a good conversationalist, outgoing, friendly, good sense of humor, you'll get a woman no matter where you are living.
Those attributes are attractive to women the world over.
If you're in a fairly big city there should be places where foreigners and korean congregate. If you have the aforementioned attributes you'll compete well against the other guys there to meet women.

If you are not good at talking to or approaching women, then I wouldn't necessarily expect korean women to be easier to meet than the ones you couldn't get back home.

One way to get around any lack of 'game' is have korean friends or even foreign friends set you up with someone. At least this eliminates the fear of approaching women. Its still up to you to woo her but at least meeting the meeting part is sorted.

My final advice is get out. Go to the coffee shops that korean women go to, take a class that korean women are in. In clubs you'll find club girls not girlfriends necessarily but it does happen.

[misher]

Personality aside, it also depends on what your standards are in terms of looks.

I know a few guys here that are going through dry spells, because well...they are just too god damn picky and think they are entitled to some model girl.

Chances increase exponentially if you are approaching women that are average that Korean guys do not want. Sounds harsh but it is true.

[fermentation]

[Xaiko]

Try using myspace, hanlingo.com, couchsurfing.com, korea4home.com for the purpose of meeting and making Korean friends. Ive had muchhh success

[DorkothyParker]

[quote="fermentation"]

[interestedinhanguk]

I think you may have a problem in the fact that you don't want a one night stand or marriage. If you're fairly certain you'll be leaving in a year and a half then that may hurt your chances. Getting into a relationship here, one must consider that a lot of the ladies are looking for a potential husband, even if they're not that forward about it. College-aged women may be your best bet.

As for how to meet, I suggest Koreancupid.com, or maybe other dating websites. Get yourself the upgraded membership. Sending out the email messages can be unfruitful. However, take advantage of the instant messenger. Just look for who's online and start chatting (at least one person needs that upgraded membership for instant messaging). You can talk to tons of people this way; open up with something cheesy, even if it's just writing 안녕하세요 instead of 'hello'.

You could go on a date with someone new every week if you wanted.

I met a number of women. Most were normal, but wound up being not my type in the end. Some were fun. Only one was really weird, and one other being somewhat weird.

Finally, though, I met my lovely girlfriend and couldn't be happier.

[sirius black]

I would also recommend changing things about your appearance that could stand changing or upgrading. The dingy t shirt and worn jeans you wore for your college years and you got chicks with is all well and good but invest in a nicer t shirt and better jeans. I'm not saying suit and tie, but at least look half way decent, shave, a little cologne and combed hair goes a long, long way. Ladies, am I right?

I wouldn't discount the one night stand scenario. I've seen some relationships come from one night stands. It can happen. Don't be too picky. The more korean girls you meet and date, the more you can better understand them.

Make your mistakes early so you can refine your 'game'. I can't emphasize enough to learn as much of the language as possible. Even a little goes a long way.

However, as I said, a lot of this depends on you. You can't expect to find a gf if you simply don't have 'game' or enough to get one. Harsh, but it is what it is. I've seen a lot of guys who are socially awkward. LBHs. Nice guys. But don't have a clue. I don't mean to be harsh but it is what it is. The ones that are LBHs never think they are. Hell, I could be one and am in denial...lol.

If you approached women back home as you said, I get the feeling you dated regularly. You should be able to get at least one. Use all the avenues aviailable: Interent; going to coffee shops, bars, etc.; taking classes where girls are; having korean friends set you up; have waygook teacher friends set you up with their co teachers or korean friends; learn the language; dress well and be groomed.