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Trikeboy
Joined: 13 Nov 2009
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 Posted: Mon Oct 04, 2010 3:02 am Post subject: Advice needed for or against bringing my girlfriend to Korea |
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Hi,
I am in the 7th month of my 1 year contract, I plan on staying another year or more and have expressed this to my current employer. If I can't stay here I will move elswhere. I work in Seoul, at an academy near Eungam that is fairly ste. My American girlfriend (I'm British) is having a hard time living in US and I would love to have her and her 9 year old daughter move over here with me.
I know there are many things to consider. Foriegn school costs are too high on my salary but I have no trouble doing more work to home school her daughter. Language problems are apparent too, though I get by with my limited Korean. She won't be able to work unless she gets a visa but she won't be able to work as a teacher. I also only have a batchelor style apartment so would have to get a bigger apartment. She doesn't have the level of education I have.
Despite all this, there are benefits such as cost of living, not being a single parent, etc Has anybody else been in a situation like this and if so what would you recommend? |
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ttompatz
Joined: 05 Sep 2005
Location: Kwangju, South Korea
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| Posted: Mon Oct 04, 2010 3:44 am Post subject: Re: Advice needed for or against bringing my girlfriend to K |
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| Trikeboy wrote: |
Hi,
I am in the 7th month of my 1 year contract, I plan on staying another year or more and have expressed this to my current employer. If I can't stay here I will move elswhere. I work in Seoul, at an academy near Eungam that is fairly ste. My American girlfriend (I'm British) is having a hard time living in US and I would love to have her and her 9 year old daughter move over here with me.
I know there are many things to consider. Foreign school costs are too high on my salary but I have no trouble doing more work to home school her daughter. Language problems are apparent too, though I get by with my limited Korean. She won't be able to work unless she gets a visa but she won't be able to work as a teacher. I also only have a bachelor style apartment so would have to get a bigger apartment. She doesn't have the level of education I have.
Despite all this, there are benefits such as cost of living, not being a single parent, etc Has anybody else been in a situation like this and if so what would you recommend? |
you have 2 issues to deal with:
1) Can you raise a family on a teacher's salary. The short answer is yes with the proviso that you won't be eating out as much or spending as many weekends in the bar.
You have already considered the school issue (home schooling is an option and there are any number of decent correspondence programs (usually government run from places like Canada, Australia) available as well (for about $1500 per year). Mom can be a big help making sure she gets down to her work (takes about 3-4 hours per day) and you can (if you wish) be her tutor before she sends it off for marking.
Housing is a bit of an issue but if you have a Korean friend who can assist you then you should be able to find a 2-room villa or a larger office-tel with about 5-10 million deposit and 500k per month for rent.
2) There is the visa issue to deal with. Since you are not married she (and the daughter) cannot get F3 (dependent family) visas. This means they will need to make a visa run to Japan (or anywhere else you can get cheap tickets). Catching the ferry to China is not an option since the cost of the visa for her and her daughter will be almost 1/2 the cost of a cheap flight to anywhere.
Then there is the other problem of her leaving the US with her daughter (as a single parent). She will need an affidavit from the other parent (giving permission) or a court order allowing her to leave the country with the minor child.
Bottom line:
Is it do-able = yes.
Is it easy = NO. There are problems to deal with but they are not insurmountable.
If you can marry her it will make the problems easier to deal with.
Ttompatz always travels with his family and they stay with him where ever on the planet he is working and that includes Korea, Thailand, the Philippines and China. (my daughter has more flier miles than many airline staff   . |
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jrwhite82
Joined: 22 May 2010
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| Posted: Mon Oct 04, 2010 3:49 am Post subject: |
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It's really noble of you to do that for her and her kid.
I'd hate to rain on your parade though...But....
Some problems however: she would need to learn to speak Korean a little bit once she got here to survive lonely bored days if she isn't working.
You probably wouldn't be able to save any money on a standard hagwon contract. Things would be real tight paying for a larger apartment, 2 more mouths, and the kid's school. (Maybe even impossible on a standard hagwon contract)
That means extra work for you either homeschooling or privates (illegal) or part time work (also illegal on an E2) Now, would you get caught, probably not, but with 2 people now being dependent on you that's a lot more risk. I don't know if its just me, but I have actually been hearing stories from friends and acquaintances of Immigration coming to hagwons to check on teacher's visas and business registrations. I never heard this a couple of years ago.
Your wife will also have a hard time finding work if she hasn't completed a four year degree in the States. Rule out working at schools. Privates will be hard too because most parents probably want their kids going to teachers with experience/degree. Education is the biggest industry for foreign employment in Korea I think. So it would really limit her.
What kind of experience does she have?
I hope everything works out for you guys. |
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Trikeboy
Joined: 13 Nov 2009
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| Posted: Mon Oct 04, 2010 6:55 am Post subject: |
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| ttompatz wrote: |
| Then there is the other problem of her leaving the US with her daughter (as a single parent). She will need an affidavit from the other parent (giving permission) or a court order allowing her to leave the country with the minor child. |
What if the father of the child has decided to do the "noble thing" and ignore his daughter all of her life to the point even my gf has no idea where the useless article is? How would the courts look on the request to leave the country?
Also, I know that everywhere is different, but would an academy fit the bill for a bigger apartment if they kept paying what they would have paid for my current apartment with me paying the extra? |
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Hugo85
Joined: 27 Aug 2010
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| Posted: Mon Oct 04, 2010 8:47 am Post subject: |
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Honestly, what are her career plans?
You intend to have her move in with you, you will work and provide for the family, teach the kid and so on? Once you are back in whatever country you want to live together in, what will she do? Wouldn't it be better she get a head start in that particular career rather than waiting 17 months for your Korean venture to be over... |
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redaxe
Joined: 01 Dec 2008
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| Posted: Mon Oct 04, 2010 9:23 am Post subject: |
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I wonder what the kid would think of having to move to Korea.
I guarantee you cannot afford International School tuition on an E2 job, PLUS a big enough apartment for the three of you. She will have to go to Korean public school, or be homeschooled.
If your girlfriend weren't also a parent, I would say go ahead and bring her to Korea. But bringing the kid to Korea is really too much. |
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northway
Joined: 05 Jul 2010
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| Posted: Mon Oct 04, 2010 2:48 pm Post subject: |
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| redaxe wrote: |
I wonder what the kid would think of having to move to Korea.
I guarantee you cannot afford International School tuition on an E2 job, PLUS a big enough apartment for the three of you. She will have to go to Korean public school, or be homeschooled.
If your girlfriend weren't also a parent, I would say go ahead and bring her to Korea. But bringing the kid to Korea is really too much. |
Yeah, who's that girl going to socialize with? |
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CentralCali
Joined: 17 May 2007
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| Posted: Mon Oct 04, 2010 3:10 pm Post subject: |
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| Trikeboy wrote: |
| What if the father of the child has decided to do the "noble thing" and ignore his daughter all of her life to the point even my gf has no idea where the useless article is? How would the courts look on the request to leave the country? |
The court's not going to accept your word, and certainly not just the child's mother's word, to that effect. The child's mother, not you, will have to prove to the court's satisfaction that the child's biological father has abandoned parental rights. This will also apply even if you marry the child's mother and apply for adoption. |
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Slowmotion
Joined: 15 Aug 2009
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| Posted: Mon Oct 04, 2010 4:59 pm Post subject: |
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| Sounds like a difficult situation, not sure how you're gonna pull this off unless she works too. Also not good for the kid. |
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MalFSU1
Joined: 27 Jan 2009
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| Posted: Mon Oct 04, 2010 5:39 pm Post subject: |
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| If she had a four year degree and could get work teaching it could work, but I think trying to find another kind of job would be very difficult for her...and I really don't think it is in the childs best interests. Korea is not an easy place for children who are "different" My coworkers find the need to point out every kid that is 'multicultural' to me, even though I could care less. |
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Lunar Groove Gardener
Joined: 05 Jan 2005
Location: 1987 Subaru
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| Posted: Mon Oct 04, 2010 6:00 pm Post subject: |
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It does seem like those months/years could well be put to
use furthering her vocational options through education
and employment.
Your savings while in Korea could go a long way towards
making that easier to manage and achieve.
Considering expenses, the greater gain for both of your efforts
may be her becoming highly employable,
your savings contributing to this goal.
Best of luck. |
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Jane
Joined: 01 Feb 2003
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| Posted: Mon Oct 04, 2010 6:48 pm Post subject: |
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| You also have another option: moving to the States to be with her. Might be easier for everyone that way. |
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nukeday
Joined: 13 May 2010
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| Posted: Mon Oct 04, 2010 7:34 pm Post subject: |
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| Kind of interesting how you neglected to mention the child in your subject. It makes the answer change from "it's up to you" to "absolutely not." |
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seoulsucker
Joined: 05 Mar 2006
Location: The Land of the Hesitant Cutoff
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| Posted: Mon Oct 04, 2010 9:59 pm Post subject: |
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| I'm inclined to agree with the naysayers here. If she's having a hard time living in the US, it would be hell on Earth for her here, and the brunt of her frustrations and angst would fall squarely on your manbits. |
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Trikeboy
Joined: 13 Nov 2009
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| Posted: Mon Oct 04, 2010 10:05 pm Post subject: |
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| nukeday wrote: |
| Kind of interesting how you neglected to mention the child in your subject. It makes the answer change from "it's up to you" to "absolutely not." |
If I added that, the subject of the thread would have been very long, it also sounds like you are inferring I didn't think about her. Obviously her kid is a huge factor in this, if she didn't want to come, we wouldn't force her. We do plan on me going to America or her coming to the UK. I am in Korea to save up money for that eventuality. Going by the posts here I do believe it would be best to keep things as they are, especially for her child.
Just a thought, are ESL jobs available in the US? If so, this could be so much easier. I have looked and not found much. |
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