Korean Job Discussion Forums

[kimiki]

i let it slip today to my head teacher (korean) that there's a student who i "don't like". her expression fell noticeably. i wanted to take it back right away.... if i was speaking to a fellow english speaker i never would have used these words, since it's unprofessional and irrelevant really.

but i knew i couldn't communicate what i really felt-- which is that i'm at my wits end with this student because i think she's a bully, a liar and a cheater who ruins the class with her constant negativity (including a preoccupation with pointing out how dumb and fat i am at least one time each class. in korean, thinking i can't understand it).

yeah so i don't know how to say all of that in korean...and just in a moment of frustration it came out in the dumb way that it did. do you think i should backtrack? try to re-explain? say that i hope it didn't come across as unprofessional? or will that just make it more tangled?

btw my head teacher is someone who i'm fairly close with in a hanging out kind of way. & i've told her in the past about the problem student and she took it seriously, took action promptly. the bullying student's behavior improved but it didn't last. (when confronted she denies everything. she's an angel more or less around her korean t's apparently?) i know she's also quite close with this student's family. i'm afraid saying this will be taken the wrong way & reflect badly on me

am i worrying over nothing? i tend to do that. then again i know how little things can be misinterpreted & held against you sometimes when you least expect it.... would the diplomatic personalities on this board please advise. thanks.

[liveinkorea316]

No I think you have the right attitude and there should be no problem with the head teacher. What you said was obviously a slip of the tongue and you should explain more carefully to her about what your issue is with that student.

At the end of the day the student is her responsibility to control since she is the head teacher. This means you should ask her what tools or methods you are allowed to use to control that student. Get the head teacher to actually help you implement this too.

For example you could ask whether you can move the girls desk, give her detentions, send her to the principal. There are many methods of punishment in Korean schools so just start looking for ways to get Korean teachers to implement these for you.

The reason she is nice around the Korean teachers is because she is scared of them.

[Shapur]

Hi Kimiki,


Raise the problem again with your head teacher. Mention specific instances of the student's bad behavior though such as calling you fat etc. Just make sure you're on record, this'll cover your gaff and hopefully also help with the student's behavior for another couple of weeks if your head teacher talks to her again.
You shouldn't doubt yourself either. I very much doubt you are the only teacher who has trouble with this kid. The fact that action was taken so promptly the first time you mentioned the issue suggests that this student's behavior is an issue that your head teacher was already aware of.
Believe me this isn't a platitude, (and occasionally a real struggle^^), but I usually try to find something to like about each and every student. The reason is that the kids can pick up when the teachers don't like them and it makes their behavior worse, the reverse is also true too. Perhaps the student is picking up on your dislike and it is exacerbating her already bad behavior? If nothing else, if you can find something positive about the kid it's a lot healthier for your state of mind....

[PigeonFart]

You are reading way too much into this. It's entirely natural to dislike certain people (even if they're young). There have been a few students that i've disliked. Don't worry.

[stimpleton]

I have a kindy kid that I can't stand, and another one (in the same class) who's almost as bad. Smarmy, arrogant etc. etc.
The first one smirked at me and said "f you" to me in his kindy class one day (with intent). A phone call to his parents resulted in an apology, but I still don't like him. With the other one, I just move him to the very back of the class and ignore him - he may not be taking part, but at least he's not distracting the other students when I do that.

OTOH, I had one student last year who I couldn't stand in the beginning - wouldn't shut up, was always loud and annoying to both me and the other students, but on his report card I wrote (for the first time in 4 years) "___ is one of my favorite students". I meant it.

OP, perhaps you could find something to praise about the student in class. Doesn't have to be something huge, but sometimes it helps the student learn that we don't always pick on them, and encourages them to seek positive attention. Good luck.

[oldfatfarang]

OP. Don't worry. You're human. You're allowed to dislike some people - especially if they are a rude obnoxious little B......

And don't worry about your head teacher, either. Try to stop being so sensitive - it doesn't work in Korean schools - the kids will eat you alive - and so will the administration. Some vocational high school students reduced one of my Korean co-teachers to tears yesterday - and all that accomplished was her being very unhappy, and the kids goofing off.

I'd be telling the head teacher that you have a problem with that specific kid - and that you are at your wits end with the kid - and that there is going to be a really big problem soon if that kid keeps being rude to you (calling you fat is completely unacceptable). Koreans understand the underlying meaning in these italics (they use their noonchie). This subtle message should fix your problem with the student.

However, if the kid is rude to you one more time after you've spoken to the head teacher - remove the kid from class. Permanently if you have to.
Remember, you have to "Own the Room".

[nathanrutledge]

Oldfatfarang is right on. My tech high school kids don't care about school, studying, any of that and they act like total ---'s quite frequently. Of all my students, the one's whose names I know are the trouble makers, and I've frequently told my co-teacher I don't like these specific kids and tell them why. My co-teachers usually commiserate with me and tell me why THEY don't like the same student, too!

Remember, you're a teacher and you're human. These kids are NOT your friends, you don't have to like them. Respect them, yes, like them, no. And by respect I mean understand that they are students, they are children (even high school students), they have their own stress's and problems and that even if you hate their guts, you still have a job to do. As long as you don't let your dislike of a student get in your way teaching, then hate on, hater!

[bobbybigfoot]

[nathanrutledge]

[NYC_Gal]

I have a kid that I used to dislike, though I like him now. He made some snide remarks that I understood, and I reprimanded him, but I decided that a better way to fix the situation would be to choose him as my guinea pig for all dialogues. I did this for a few weeks, and he's lovely now.

I also pointed to him whenever we got to the pig part of Old MacDonald for the same few weeks.

[take a rest]

There are heaps of students that I don't like... I frequently talk about which classes I like and don't like with the other teachers at my school... and which students I like and don't like as well. But it's different because all of the teachers at my school are from a higher socioeconomic background than the students... which means there's a divide, but which also means that the teachers are more likely to support each other and look down on the students.

But one thing about Korea is that nepotism is an omnipotent force in all things... and you can get into situations where loyalties have nothing to do with reason or common sense and everything to do with reputation and status. This is one of the reasons that some kids are just soooo spoiled rotten... and you can actually meet 11 year olds that completely repulse you, and manage to be ruder, uglier, colder and more critical than anyone you've ever met-- it's the result of spending too much time around adults/studying and not enough time spent being a kid, as well as being treated like a princess by those who wish to gain favor with/not cause offense to their family. And they will walk all over you, because they know that they can.

Of course, these kids have miserable lives that they don't control, and are being groomed to inherit whatever position their family has in mind for them... and everyone else, including some teachers, have to either suck up to them or get out of their way. Nobody feels good about it, but they do it because it's the way they do things.

I say don't push the issue, but deal with the student personally... explain to her how it makes you feel, and ask her what she hopes to achieve by saying all of these things (in easy language, of course), and ask her what you did to deserve being talked to that way. When she fails to come up with an answer, tell her you're not going to tolerate it any more and if you hear any more of her crap you're going to kick her out... if you're an at least semi-competent teacher, you shouldn't have anything to hide.

[winterfall]