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recessiontime
Joined: 21 Jun 2010
Location: Got avatar privileges nyahahaha
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 Posted: Wed Oct 27, 2010 8:56 pm Post subject: How would you handle this? |
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My sister is 26-years-old. She lives in Canada with her parents who are well into their 60's. Father who is 67 and cannot retire and works at Walmart as a manager and collects roughly 60k/yr to support family. Mother is 62 and diabetic with health problems who stays at home.
Sister is roughly 45K in debt with student and credit card debt, is a shopaholic for clothes, and routinely screams off at her parents every other day like she still is an angry teenager. She has a boyfriend of 3 years who's parents are wealthy and 'promises' her that he will pay off her debts one day. She has a office job that pays roughly 40k/year and only calls home to check whether frail mother is willing to cook dinner for her and frequently complains she is useless and does not do anything. She avoids her parents unless it is to ask for monthly payments of her car and/or debt payments. Accuses parents of liking me more and not supporting her enough.
Essentially, she is self centered and does not care about the welfare of her parents that are in their 60's. She was born model-pretty and has grown up with people treating her nice & giving her jobs etc and has a strongly ingrained sense of entitlement. She plans to literally drain her parents until they die or until she can live with her bf who's parents are wealthy.
How would you put this... person in her place? Because I don't have a clue. |
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tottenhamtaipeinick
Joined: 05 Sep 2010
Location: Canada
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| Posted: Wed Oct 27, 2010 9:30 pm Post subject: |
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Well I am guessing you�re in Korea and she is there?
Your parents are old enough to make the decisions they want to make. As for her, I say try not to get involved as much as possible because you may end up resenting her more and your parents for assisting her over the top needs. I am guessing you�re in Korea and feeling helpless.
Best thing you could do to help is offering your parents a nice holiday if you think they are having hard times?
Not really sure what your asking here but that�s my thought on what I read :S |
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tanklor1
Joined: 13 Jun 2006
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| Posted: Wed Oct 27, 2010 9:46 pm Post subject: Re: How would you handle this? |
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| recessiontime wrote: |
My sister is 26-years-old. She lives in Canada with her parents who are well into their 60's. Father who is 67 and cannot retire and works at Walmart as a manager and collects roughly 60k/yr to support family. Mother is 62 and diabetic with health problems who stays at home.
Sister is roughly 45K in debt with student and credit card debt, is a shopaholic for clothes, and routinely screams off at her parents every other day like she still is an angry teenager. She has a boyfriend of 3 years who's parents are wealthy and 'promises' her that he will pay off her debts one day. She has an office job that pays roughly 40k/year and only calls home to check whether frail mother is willing to cook dinner for her and frequently complains she is useless and does not do anything. She avoids her parents unless it is to ask for monthly payments of her car and/or debt payments. Accuses parents of liking me more and not supporting her enough.
Essentially, she is self centered and does not care about the welfare of her parents that are in their 60's. She was born model-pretty and has grown up with people treating her nice & giving her jobs etc and has a strongly ingrained sense of entitlement. She plans to literally drain her parents until they die or until she can live with her bf who's parents are wealthy.
How would you put this... person in her place? Because I don't have a clue. |
There you go problem solved. Can I send you my address to collect me fee or are you going to drop by with it? |
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recessiontime
Joined: 21 Jun 2010
Location: Got avatar privileges nyahahaha
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| Posted: Wed Oct 27, 2010 9:57 pm Post subject: Re: How would you handle this? |
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| tanklor1 wrote: |
| recessiontime wrote: |
My sister is 26-years-old. She lives in Canada with her parents who are well into their 60's. Father who is 67 and cannot retire and works at Walmart as a manager and collects roughly 60k/yr to support family. Mother is 62 and diabetic with health problems who stays at home.
Sister is roughly 45K in debt with student and credit card debt, is a shopaholic for clothes, and routinely screams off at her parents every other day like she still is an angry teenager. She has a boyfriend of 3 years who's parents are wealthy and 'promises' her that he will pay off her debts one day. She has an office job that pays roughly 40k/year and only calls home to check whether frail mother is willing to cook dinner for her and frequently complains she is useless and does not do anything. She avoids her parents unless it is to ask for monthly payments of her car and/or debt payments. Accuses parents of liking me more and not supporting her enough.
Essentially, she is self centered and does not care about the welfare of her parents that are in their 60's. She was born model-pretty and has grown up with people treating her nice & giving her jobs etc and has a strongly ingrained sense of entitlement. She plans to literally drain her parents until they die or until she can live with her bf who's parents are wealthy.
How would you put this... person in her place? Because I don't have a clue. |
There you go problem solved. Can I send you my address to collect my fee or are you going to drop by with it? |
I guess we are even now? |
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eamo
Joined: 08 Mar 2003
Location: Shepherd's Bush, 1964.
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| Posted: Wed Oct 27, 2010 10:15 pm Post subject: |
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| Definitely agree that this is something your parents need to sort out. They should throw her out.....if she comes to you crying about it then you can do your bit by supporting your parents. |
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brickabrack
Joined: 17 May 2010
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| Posted: Wed Oct 27, 2010 10:19 pm Post subject: |
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the best lesson she could possibly learn will be on her own.
It could be well into her 60s, but it will eventually happen.
The parents can put the foot down or not. Chances are, after all these years, it will not happen. Words of wisdom: 'let it be' or 'your day is gonna come' |
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tanklor1
Joined: 13 Jun 2006
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| Posted: Wed Oct 27, 2010 10:24 pm Post subject: Re: How would you handle this? |
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| recessiontime wrote: |
| tanklor1 wrote: |
| recessiontime wrote: |
My sister is 26-years-old. She lives in Canada with her parents who are well into their 60's. Father who is 67 and cannot retire and works at Walmart as a manager and collects roughly 60k/yr to support family. Mother is 62 and diabetic with health problems who stays at home.
Sister is roughly 45K in debt with student and credit card debt, is a shopaholic for clothes, and routinely screams off at her parents every other day like she still is an angry teenager. She has a boyfriend of 3 years who's parents are wealthy and 'promises' her that he will pay off her debts one day. She has an office job that pays roughly 40k/year and only calls home to check whether frail mother is willing to cook dinner for her and frequently complains she is useless and does not do anything. She avoids her parents unless it is to ask for monthly payments of her car and/or debt payments. Accuses parents of liking me more and not supporting her enough.
Essentially, she is self centered and does not care about the welfare of her parents that are in their 60's. She was born model-pretty and has grown up with people treating her nice & giving her jobs etc and has a strongly ingrained sense of entitlement. She plans to literally drain her parents until they die or until she can live with her bf who's parents are wealthy.
How would you put this... person in her place? Because I don't have a clue. |
There you go problem solved. Can I send you my address to collect my fee or are you going to drop by with it? |
I guess we are even now? |
Touche...  |
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Patrick Bateman
Joined: 21 Apr 2009
Location: Lost in Translation
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| Posted: Wed Oct 27, 2010 10:29 pm Post subject: Re: How would you handle this? |
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| recessiontime wrote: |
My sister is 26-years-old. She lives in Canada with her parents who are well into their 60's. Father who is 67 and cannot retire and works at Walmart as a manager and collects roughly 60k/yr to support family. Mother is 62 and diabetic with health problems who stays at home.
Sister is roughly 45K in debt with student and credit card debt, is a shopaholic for clothes, and routinely screams off at her parents every other day like she still is an angry teenager. She has a boyfriend of 3 years who's parents are wealthy and 'promises' her that he will pay off her debts one day. She has a office job that pays roughly 40k/year and only calls home to check whether frail mother is willing to cook dinner for her and frequently complains she is useless and does not do anything. She avoids her parents unless it is to ask for monthly payments of her car and/or debt payments. Accuses parents of liking me more and not supporting her enough.
Essentially, she is self centered and does not care about the welfare of her parents that are in their 60's. She was born model-pretty and has grown up with people treating her nice & giving her jobs etc and has a strongly ingrained sense of entitlement. She plans to literally drain her parents until they die or until she can live with her bf who's parents are wealthy.
How would you put this... person in her place? Because I don't have a clue. |
Really best not to meddle in other people's affairs unless the affair is directly connected with you. It sounds like these old folks aren't even your parents by your repeated use of "her parents."
All the people involved are, age wise, adults. They really have to just live their own lives. If what you say is true, eventually the situation will implode and everyone will get their just deserts. |
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recessiontime
Joined: 21 Jun 2010
Location: Got avatar privileges nyahahaha
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| Posted: Wed Oct 27, 2010 10:35 pm Post subject: |
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| I guess the consensus is that this is a problem that my parents need to handle. They ought to throw her out, but I know this won't happen. |
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recessiontime
Joined: 21 Jun 2010
Location: Got avatar privileges nyahahaha
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| Posted: Wed Oct 27, 2010 10:37 pm Post subject: Re: How would you handle this? |
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| Patrick Bateman wrote: |
| recessiontime wrote: |
My sister is 26-years-old. She lives in Canada with her parents who are well into their 60's. Father who is 67 and cannot retire and works at Walmart as a manager and collects roughly 60k/yr to support family. Mother is 62 and diabetic with health problems who stays at home.
Sister is roughly 45K in debt with student and credit card debt, is a shopaholic for clothes, and routinely screams off at her parents every other day like she still is an angry teenager. She has a boyfriend of 3 years who's parents are wealthy and 'promises' her that he will pay off her debts one day. She has a office job that pays roughly 40k/year and only calls home to check whether frail mother is willing to cook dinner for her and frequently complains she is useless and does not do anything. She avoids her parents unless it is to ask for monthly payments of her car and/or debt payments. Accuses parents of liking me more and not supporting her enough.
Essentially, she is self centered and does not care about the welfare of her parents that are in their 60's. She was born model-pretty and has grown up with people treating her nice & giving her jobs etc and has a strongly ingrained sense of entitlement. She plans to literally drain her parents until they die or until she can live with her bf who's parents are wealthy.
How would you put this... person in her place? Because I don't have a clue. |
Really best not to meddle in other people's affairs unless the affair is directly connected with you. It sounds like these old folks aren't even your parents by your repeated use of "her parents."
All the people involved are, age wise, adults. They really have to just live their own lives. If what you say is true, eventually the situation will implode and everyone will get their just deserts. |
Well I am connected because they are in fact my parents and my mom is complaining about her behavior. A lot. Which is why I felt I had to do something but I guess the best thing to do now is to let them handle it. |
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Patrick Bateman
Joined: 21 Apr 2009
Location: Lost in Translation
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| Posted: Wed Oct 27, 2010 10:48 pm Post subject: Re: How would you handle this? |
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| recessiontime wrote: |
Well I am connected because they are in fact my parents and my mom is complaining about her behavior. A lot. Which is why I felt I had to do something but I guess the best thing to do now is to let them handle it. |
If that's true why not just have an honest and frank conversation with your mom about her? Don't be too pushy or judgmental and maybe your mom will see the problem with the situation and act accordingly and from her own will. |
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recessiontime
Joined: 21 Jun 2010
Location: Got avatar privileges nyahahaha
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| Posted: Wed Oct 27, 2010 11:11 pm Post subject: |
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^
I've had an honest conversation with my mom. My mom doesn't know what to do with her, which is why she's complaining to me and told me she wish she could kick her out. I pretty much agreed with her that she should just go live with her rich boyfriend since she makes him out to be Richard Gere from 'Pretty Woman'.
My dad is the principle enabler. He'll pretty much do whatever his kids tell him, he would never consider the prospect of doing something like kicking his daughter out. So yeah, most likely there isn't anything I can do. And telling her off won't do much except make me the jerk in her mind. I guess the best solution is to do nothing. |
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NYC_Gal
Joined: 08 Dec 2009
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| Posted: Wed Oct 27, 2010 11:21 pm Post subject: |
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If he does whatever his kids tell him, tell him to kick her out 
Have a heart to heart with dad. |
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recessiontime
Joined: 21 Jun 2010
Location: Got avatar privileges nyahahaha
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| Posted: Wed Oct 27, 2010 11:33 pm Post subject: |
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| NYC_Gal wrote: |
If he does whatever his kids tell him, tell him to kick her out
Have a heart to heart with dad. |
his reaction to me saying something like that is :
"oh, no, don't say things like that. You LOVE your sister." |
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seoulsucker
Joined: 05 Mar 2006
Location: The Land of the Hesitant Cutoff
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