Korean Job Discussion Forums

[tottenhamtaipeinick]

Anyone made a mistake chasing a girl to Korea for love knowing well enough Korean culture and language is not something they like.....

I am having second thoughts :S

[northway]

If you're moving for love, what's the long-term plan? Stay in Korea while you proceed to teach English for the rest of your days? Regardless of qualifications, you'll likely have difficulty finding anything outside of teaching if you can't speak Korean. Is she dead set on living in Korea? If you have the more established career, it's more reasonable for her to stay in Australia for you than for you to drop everything and move here.

[Junior]

This one is easy. Stick with the career.

Its not a good time to be jobhunting or working in Korea. You are far better off keeping secure with what you have.

Not commenting on your gf in particular of course, but K-women can be fickle and not really worth basing your plans on. Often because when you are in Korea the advantage is with them, and the relationship dynamic changes.

[marsavalanche]

[northway]

[tottenhamtaipeinick]

wow thanks for the very rational advice

I will sum up how I let her go and the reason I told her I will go to Korea for at least 1 year

It was really hard for myself to tell her to stay here entirely knowing well and good she has no family or true friends in Australia. I didn't have the balls to say look at my career it is building fast stay here and you get a dismal job doing whatever. I am scared of putting myself first with this girl and that could be a problem as I am 23. So I tell her I would love to give up my only just new career for teaching but at the same time is it wrong to always be predictable and practical when it comes to life. She is always going off at me for constantly worrying about my assets as are my friends as I always have huge savings and stable investments.

Though I put it to her that Korea for 1 -2 years is on the books and that after that I doubt I will stay... 1 or 2 years in Korea isnt that long but I hope I can be employed if I come back!

[tottenhamtaipeinick]

[tottenhamtaipeinick]

[Mr. BlackCat]

I'm going to be blunt, please don't take it personally.

Your gf seems to have had no problem leaving you behind and/or demanding you give up your career. She was uncomfortable staying in a land that was not her home yet she feels it's ok to make you move to one that is completely foreign to you. I assume she speaks English, the language of Australia, yet wants you to move blind to a country where you do not speak the language and only have a 'future' in one 'career'. Also, many people in a foreign country hook up with a local for convenience, but once they go back to their homes they don't value that relationship as much. Something else to keep in mind.

Is your relationship strong enough to survive if you don't like Korea and/or your job? Because those things will be intermixed. If you hate your job you will blame your gf. Sometimes it just doesn't work out. Another time, another place and all that. Despite what rom-coms try to tell us, there are far more people out there who regret ruining their lives chasing someone who didn't love them than those who regret not trying.

I'm not trying to tell you not to go to Korea. But I think it's a lot more complicated than will you like the place or not. Good luck.

[northway]

What's going to change after a year? Where do you see the relationship going (if anywhere)? Do you want to move to a different country for something that's going to end if you choose to leave said country?

[Openfire]

Interesting. I say go to Korea. You can start your career when you come back (or there if you want) but do it while you�re young. Who gets to go live in a different country for a few years in their life. Not many people. And you don�t even like the job. I may be bias though as I�m in a similar situation.

I�m in Sydney and I just quit my career in TV to go to Korea for a year. I am also leaving my boyfriend (who obviously doesn�t want me to go as he can�t come with me) but I had that train of thought. Do it now, get it out of your system, don�t have a boring life. Life is there to take risks and chances otherwise it would be boring. I wanted to stay in a long distance relationship with my boyfriend but he thinks if I leave we wouldn�t work out due to not being together so I pretty much sealed my fate with him by deciding that. I wish he would have come with me like you would do for your girlfriend but he has his life and I have mine. I love him but I need to do things for myself too. The people saying your gf is selfish aren�t seeing it from her point of view either. Maybe she will only be there for a year or two.

I think go over and if after a year or so you�re both not happy then come back. If you get a good contact from your job you can always try to get your job back since you have a good reputation or somewhere else.

I think i�m going on too much hehe. But all in all...I say do what you want to do NOW...later will take care of itself. Dont regret losing her if you really love her.

[northway]

[ssuprnova]

Hey OP, I was in a similar situation... kind of. I was seeing this K-girl before graduating from college and decided to head to Korea once I got my degree. At that time it just seemed like the right thing to do for our relationship. Long story short I arrived here a month after she did only to find her a completely different person. I tried to make it work for a month but eventually just gave up.

Now, I said that my situation was "similar" because of the whole going-to-Korea-for-her situation. However, keep in mind that I'm a recent grad and I didn't have a job lined up at home. I was also very lucky to be hired by a good, honest hagwon close to Seoul. So, in general, I don't regret coming here at all. It's been quite an adventure so far and I'm treating it as a gap year before I go to grad school. However, I would never sacrifice my potential career for Korea. Also, if you're in a technical field and plan to spend a few years here teaching English then you'll probably end up losing at least some of your qualifications, so going back home and "resuming" your career might be harder than you think.

In the end, though, it's all up to you. Good luck!

PS: as for K-girls being flaky: yes, yes, and yes. But I don't think it's necessarily a bad thing. All depends on what you're looking for.

[West Coast Tatterdemalion]

Listen to Mr. Black cat, OP, he is spot on. In the end, the ceiling here for most non-Koreans is teaching English. This is the main reason that I am moving home later this year.

[dharma bum]

obviously, none of us can tell you what to do in this situation because there is just so much we don't know, including what your girlfriend is like, what your relationship with her is like, and how you feel about her. with that said, here are my thoughts on your situation.

first, are you happy with your job and sitting behind a desk? i mean i know people consider it a good job and probably view you as successful because of it, but are you happy doing it or would you be happier traveling around with a bit more freedom? if you are happy with your job and don't find sitting behind a desk less than fulfilling, then i think you really need to think long and hard before leaving it behind for this girl for several reasons:

1. as others have mentioned, people can completely change depending on where they are, and this may be especially true for the type of situation you are in, in which your gf is moving between two very different places and cultures. it's going to be harder for your gf to include you in her life in korea, and a lot of the relationship roles will probably be reversed, as you mentioned. considering that she's leaving you behind, she may, and once again i don't know her, also not be as serious about the relationship as a real relationship (as opposed to a nice experience abroad) as you are.

2. assuming that your gf is the same age as you or younger and that's she's a typical korean girl who adheres to korean norms, she's not going to be thinking about marriage for quite a while - like 5-7 years. obviously, this is one of those things where it all depends on the person, but in general, marriage in korea adheres to a fairly regular timeline and that probably means that you might be stuck here for a while. that might give you a chance to develop your korean and build a career, but it might also mean that you will be wasting career opportunities while stuck in relationship limbo.

there are actually more things i would like to point out, but i won't go into them because that would make this post too long. i do have some questions though: how long have you been with your gf though and how strongly do you feel about her? how mature is she and how responsible do you think she will be toward you as a person making sacrifices in your personal life and career to be with her? how career-minded are you and will you be happy not living up to your potential in a traditional way? how strong and stable of a person is she - do you think she might be fickle in her relationship with you and do you think she will be able to stand up to some of the social stigma that might (or might not) affect her as someone in a serious relationship with a foreigner?

i'd also like to second the poster above me by saying that Mr. Black Cat makes some very good points that would be worth considering.