Korean Job Discussion Forums

[aneikamcd66]

Hi All,

I'm writing this on behalf of a friend for advice. She has a kindergarten student who compulsively plays with her genitals in class. She says it's constant, started a few months ago and progressed from sticking her finger up there to sticking pencils up there. She says she spoke to her boss about it and her boss just brushed it off and ignored the issue.

She fears the child my be being molested at home but who knows what the issue might be. Considering her boss ignored her when she brought up the issue, and the wrath that might be brought upon her if she speaks to the child's parents about it, any advice on who she can contact to make sure this child gets some intervention on whatever the problem may be?

[jrwhite82]

Is that a sign of sex abuse?

Either way, in cases like this, you send it up the chain of command and document that you have done so. Does your friend write weekly/monthly progress reports? Maybe write a comment about it in there. Does your friend have any Korean co-teachers at the school? Talk to them and see if they notice in their classroom. Or ask one of them to talk to the director on your friend's behalf.

Has your friend received any kind of training in how to deal with this properly? My guess is no. Send it up. Document that you have done so. If it continues do it again and document it. There really isn't much more you can do.

[Slowmotion]

Wow, definitely not normal

The thing that bothers me is in threads like this, the higher ups never care to try to make a difference in possibly troubled people's lives.

[Illysook]

Is she also going to the bathroom a lot? She may have a bladder infection.

[Lastrova]

Could also be a rash or a skin infection from peeing in bed. Let's not jump to conclusions!

[bobbybigfoot]

A coteacher should speak to the parents. Could be:

(1) a phase
(2) an infection
(3) abuse

[willteachforfood]

I have of this happening in other hagwons as well....once at a school I worked at a long time ago and then another story on here a couple of years ago....the solution from the management in both situations was the same....just ignore it

[BoholDiver]

My mother had a way of dealing with kids who do that.

Put them outside, away from others. No punishment, just make them leave.

Tell them when they're finished what they're doing, they can rejoin class.

Yes, document that you have brought it up. Also document that no one cared.

[methdxman]

Either a sign of sexual abuse or chaos at home (alcoholism, neglect, physical abuse, parents fighting, etc.)

[nathanrutledge]

Or a sign of being a kid.

It's normal, not a sign of anything per se. Kids reach a certain age and that happens. You never "played doctor" with the kids next door? Same thing.

The key is to tell them that it is not appropriate to do that in class and stop them. No punishment (unless they keep ignoring the instructions, then you punish them for THAT), just firm and consistent "not now."

It's a phase, she'll grow out of it.

[nero]

Playing with yourself and sticking stuff up there is a little bit different. Especially at that age. I would definitely document it. *beep*, I hate the lack of support in this country over stuff like this.

[nathanrutledge]

http://psychcentral.com/lib/2007/is-it-normal-for-a-toddler-to-touch-themselves/

Here is a brief answer from a psychologist about the whole issue.

Also, putting things in there is completely normal. Ladies, am I right about this? Seriously, the issue isn't WHAT she's doing, the issue is the TIME and PLACE she is doing it. Also, routing her away from things that could cause harm (pencils, sharp objects) is probably a good idea.

[Marzipoo]

[nathanrutledge]

http://helpguide.org/mental/child_abuse_physical_emotional_sexual_neglect.htm

Some information on child abuse.

Again, I'm saying this is normal children behavior. Have none of you ever had little brother/sister/cousins/nephews/nieces/etc? Kids touch themselves.

As far as putting things in there, why not? Kids put things in their mouths, ears, and noses all the time. This girl is exploring her body and no one has stopped her/suggested a better time/place for doing it.

There is a big difference between putting random objects there as a child and touching oneself in a sexual manner with said random objects. Don't get me wrong, sexual abuse happens, but from what has been described, I think you guys are all on a zebra hunt.

[Koharski]

If you feel this situation warrants reporting to someone higher; then, as an educator, you have a responsibility to do so.

No one on this board has enough information to diagnose the situation and label it as .....

The Mod Team does not want a subject as serious as this turning into a flame war and insults. OP, if you feel the matter is serious (as indicated by your concern in making a thread), then the onus is on you to make the next step.

Koharski