Korean Job Discussion Forums

hondaicivic · Joined: 01 Jul 2010 Location: Daegu, South Korea

http://thethreewisemonkeys.com/2010/10/11/not-marrying-the-wrong-woman-is-better/

^I came across this blog from this guy about spousal abuse from his south korean wife. lol it's funny and sad at the same time.

Fox · Joined: 04 Mar 2009

That kind of situation happens in the west too. There are plenty of women who are abusive in relationships (both emotionally and, more importantly, physically). It's always been harder for men to get help than women in such situations, especially since when a domestic dispute occurs, even if the woman causes it it's very likely that the authorities will blame and arrest the man (this happened to my younger brother, and he spent some time in jail over it).

Radius · Joined: 20 Dec 2009

L..M...A....O!!!
Ok, it's actually NOT funny, but I can't help relating to this guy. Not that this sort of thing has happened to me before, because it hasn't, but some relationships definitely could have gone there. It is a cultural thing, and it is learned in the home from the parents and acted out as early as elementary school--I see it everyday, the girls walloping on the boys, and the boys take it. It's a shame. It almost like ANY physical contact from girls is GOOD contact. SMH.
One thing that struck me in the blog entry was the ending. I felt bad for the Korean men who have no way out, and now I know why they're out drinking to all hours of the evening--maybe not all, but for all too many men it's not to be socially accepted, it's to get the F^&* away from the Mrs. WOW!

hondaicivic · Joined: 01 Jul 2010 Location: Daegu, South Korea

Lastrova · Joined: 30 Dec 2010

This is really sad, but no surprise. The pattern I see at my school, at least with the grade 6's, is that if a boy even swats the girl mildly, that is reason enough to beat him aggressively and with no remorse. I guess at that age, the boys construe it as a sign of favor. Funny, the rationale a long time ago was the reverse: the physically abused woman felt unloved if her man didn't give her a good beating every once in a while.

Culturally speaking, I'd love to know where it comes from; how the girls feel it is their right and privilege to wallop boys with impunity. I'd say if everyone is happy there is no problem, but you don't just lose a habit because you grow up, especially a habit that is perceived as acceptable.

jvalmer · Joined: 06 Jun 2003

Kurtz · Joined: 05 Jan 2007 Location: ples bilong me

nero · Joined: 11 Mar 2009

It's like emotional retardation.
You very rarely have assertive women here - it's all passive or aggressive. Which is why I will never date a Korean woman.

northway · Joined: 05 Jul 2010

This sounds a lot like my ex, aka the only person who has inspired me to break up via text message after six months.

hondaicivic · Joined: 01 Jul 2010 Location: Daegu, South Korea

nukeday · Joined: 13 May 2010

I had an ex who threw a soju bottle or two at my head and did the whole screaming in public thing whenever we'd have a disagreement. Or she'd run off into a crowd and expect me to look for her, then get angry when I'd just sit on a bench and wait it out.

Of course, she was also a pathological (and I am not using that term lightly) liar and a cheater.

Now, it's true, I was (and am) not perfect boyfriend material, which probably aggravated it more. This makes me wonder if the guy in the article is really the meek, kind-hearted church-goer he portrays himself as.

At some point, though, there is no excuse.

recessiontime · Posted: Mon Feb 14, 2011 6:01 pm Post subject:

Isn't all this crazy behavior learned from k-drama? There's no way these girls are naturally this crazy. I'm sure a lot of it is picked up from movies and tv. Maybe a k girl watched a movie where a couple has a fight, girl irrationally runs off then the guy chases after her and says something romantic that made the viewers say awwwwwwwww! The whole kicking, slapping, yelling in public can be learned from observation too.

Lastrova · Joined: 30 Dec 2010

Movies and TV usually reflect a kind of reality. Often it's symbolic. It may be exaggerated or idealized, but the characteristics all ready exist in the audience or the stories wouldn't be appealing or make sense. Take the Hollywood penchant for bad girl heroines or villians. Rather than reflecting women beating up 250 pound guys it's really saying something about female empowerment.

In Korea, the underlying message might be the old Chinese public:private separation where women hold the reins in the private sphere and men in the public sphere. It's just morphed into a peculiarly Korean version. It could have strains of the barbarism and brutality that Koreans lived through for many years and how they responded. It could have something to do with how girls are raised, the disproportionate number of males to females, the education system and how it emasculates men. Probably all these things, but there is more, and I'm curious to know what it is--from an anthropological angle.

northway · Joined: 05 Jul 2010

redaxe · Joined: 01 Dec 2008

What's with all the premonitions in this story? The priest saying he can "sense evil" in her and the parents saying the fortune teller told them she should move in with him or else they would break up? WTF?

This seems mostly if not completely fabricated. Reads like a bad soap opera plot. All that's left is for one of them to have a horrible car accident and get amnesia.