Korean Job Discussion Forums

[Bloopity Bloop]

I was talking to fellow Dave's user this weekend and we happened to come across the topic of how we are affected by others.

It got me thinking. How much of an effect do people have on you? How easily is your self-worth compromised by friends, family, and even strangers on the street?

Most people are probably too prideful to tell the whole truth, but I'd guess most people don't value themselves enough and give other people too much influence with regards to this stuff.

After living in Korea for a while, I found myself caring what others thought of me a little too much. Anyone else turn out the same? Or was it the opposite?

[hondaicivic]

[jfromtheway]

I find this subject interesting from a Korean person's point of view, mostly, but I can understand that this would be a difficult venue for elaboration after reading responses on threads like this:

http://forums.eslcafe.com/korea/viewtopic.php?t=203279&start=0&postdays=0&postorder=asc&highlight=

Some twisted videos on there. And I'm skinny with a BMI of optimum perfecto, so what should I care. I spoke up on some costume talk the other day and now it ceases to exist, so it's obviously a touchy subject. Why so many people, in the first place, apparently, hate overweight people, or at least hold such strong opinions on the seeming "unhealthiness" of others, is beyond me. Infective groupthink? Likely. Health care warriors, maybe. One could argue for quality over quantity in life, years wise, for all you people living to be old. But it seems as though improving one's self-esteem, or providing a response outlet, would cause more of them to not jump off bridges or onto subway tracks; so the hardline "there's something wrong with you, fix it" stance, is not justifiable in any way to me. Korean or whoever else. I think this should be a less judgmental place for people to talk about these, let's say, extreme and unrealistic perceptions... so always remember that jfromtheway will hear you out and not judge you for it. We all eat for substance, and pleasure.

[RMNC]

I was already the embodiment of Patrick Bateman, mentally, so I never really had or have any trouble dealing with people, due to my general disgust of humanity. They don't affect me because there's nothing to affect.

[jfromtheway]

[happiness]

It doesnt really matter because a Korean can only judge you by their own standards, which are probably the same as everyone else.

Ive always dressed well, but I tend to wear stuff from the US or Japan, and every now and then, Id get the comment "you look like a Japanese, or your style isnt good" I speak Korean rather well, but Ive been told whitey cant speak Korean. Now, of course, I know thats all hooey, but it can get to you. They cant leave you alone, but they like the little jabs.

Of course, Koreans are taught from day one about place in society and power, so when they see anything that makes them look a little less shiny, they knock it down. They do it to each other all the time. Its ome of the reasons I dont think Koreans dont mix well with others (and a big reason they dont speak English or other langauges rather well).

I have some credentials, I dont need to say them, but even its mentioned, they dont necessarily act impressed, because Im not one of them. I knew a guy who went to Harvard for half his education, he got into Harvard, but it didnt really impress people, hes not a Korean.

I wont say Korea is for Koreans, but if that was the case, wed leave it to them, and the brothers up North would swoop down here in a jiffy. It is the 4th invasion, for sure. All the new ETs and engineers, theyll stay and force the Koreans to change their minds. Probably the Chinese who are in all the unis here will as well.

[Draz]

[West Coast Tatterdemalion]

It just doesn't matter. It just doesn't matter. It just doesn't matter.

[DorkothyParker]

TMI/Honesty alert:
My self-worth has shifted and is fragile at best.

My resiliency is fairly low and I have difficulties dealing with disappointment or feeling like I'm not living up to other's standards. I'm socially awkward and while I don't necessarily want to have deep relationships with other people (they will hurt me), I do want people to like me. I enjoy going through the motions of bonding and having it appear so on the superficial level.

At home, I am blessed with a couple very close friends and a handful of close enough friends that I can feel comfortable in social situations. Not having this in Korea has been very difficult for me.

A deal of my self-worth is from how people see me, but most of it is from how I think people see me, which is really worse. I over analyze and scrutinize and I think my belly-button will fall off as I stare at it too long.
So yeah...

[jfromtheway]

Your catharsis ---> you feeling more comfortable with yourself as a person beyond what any personality-hijacked Korean or horse-faced reformed fat self-loathing loser on here has to say. It probably wasn't advertised that you were coming to the publicly masochistic fat camp of the world. It's just pathetic to see the adoption of that twisted mindset from whitey on here who should feel proud to hail from lands of tolerance. Typical cycle of life experience-limited dorks who run into easy A twang, start thinking they're the man, and then believe they have the entitled aptitude to anonymously criticize overweight people online; or people who are simply looking to hear from others with similar experiences. Much respect for your honesty Ms. Parker, anyone else feel like a self-purge? Jfromtheway respects people of all sizes, so I got your back.

[cyui]

I don't care what other people outside my dispora think. Dad is a former state senator,so that pretty much sums up life as just one big piece of Bullshit Policy.

You shouldn't care about stupid opinions that really don't matter in life.In fact , it's funny but think that ones' brain will just automatically disconnect from that after awile.

Finally had to learn to that with some of my adoptive family/ former friends (both guys and girls'), as they were just became WAY too insecure for my tastes' after awile!!

[cyui]

and I don't think Koreans are really about validiating thier low-self esteem on what appears to be a "lowely foreigner"..of course, you always have many expections where it is a Korean Man versus White Female in "dissatifaction" cases'.

Yes, Pride is on the level as sloth ( very very magistral), but very very much normal in the scope of humanistic nature.

[Koveras]

This is a delicate thing to explain, but quite simple once understood. Most people are unable to observe themselves objectively, and therefore rely on others to �grant them existence�, as it were, whether through shame (resulting in low �self-worth�) or praise (resulting in high �self-worth�). This can be corrected through relentless introspection. But the crucial thing is for the man to arrive at the *correct* appraisal of himself, which is definitely not the same thing as always thinking highly of himself no matter what. In fact, if he�s honest about it, he usually concludes that he�s a clumsy idiot who more often than not, and despite the highest intentions, misunderstands, hurts, and breaks everything around him, including himself. At the same time, that he can understand that he misunderstands, and desire to do other than destroy, hints to him of strange, godlike powers.

Remember, you must only use your powers for good. May the force be with you.

[Bloopity Bloop]