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is so delicious
Joined: 28 Apr 2009
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 Posted: Mon May 16, 2011 12:26 am Post subject: Principal's wedding- don't wanna go |
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I'm sure this has been discussed here before. I work for a small kindergarten. The principal is kind of a fill-in... the former principal left about the same time I started (about two and a half months ago). So this principal is supposedly temporary, very nice and doesn't really care much about anything, or nothing related to English teachers. In fact she speaks little English... there's no real communication with her, though she seems very friendly. The staff is very nice, not particularly intimate but very pleasant, Koreans and foreigners both. Nobody socializes with each that I know of.
Anyway she just gave me an invitation to her wedding, as she did the other teachers. She made it a point (through an unofficial interpreter) that I was not obligated to go at all. I had an excuse ready and I very pleasantly said that I think I was going out of town (which is actually half true). Anyway I'm not the most outgoing person in this sort of situation, and I don't think I want to go this.
So... suggestions? I thought giving her a nice bottle of wine on Friday would be a good move. Or what is a typical wedding like? Feel free to convince me to hit it up, but I've heard they're pretty dull (is there even a reception?).
Okay, fine, I'll just come right out and say it: what's the dress code, the food and drink scene, and how much coin am I dropping on a gift if I attend? |
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Mr. Peabody
Joined: 24 Sep 2010
Location: here
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| Posted: Mon May 16, 2011 1:19 am Post subject: |
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She said you weren't obligated to go, so don't.
I remember a co-worker of my wife once gave her a wedding invitation with a bank account number printed on the invitation. 
After I saw that, I knew the deal. |
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sadguy
Joined: 13 Feb 2011
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| Posted: Mon May 16, 2011 3:36 am Post subject: Re: Principal's wedding- don't wanna go |
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| is so delicious wrote: |
I'm sure this has been discussed here before. I work for a small kindergarten. The principal is kind of a fill-in... the former principal left about the same time I started (about two and a half months ago). So this principal is supposedly temporary, very nice and doesn't really care much about anything, or nothing related to English teachers. In fact she speaks little English... there's no real communication with her, though she seems very friendly. The staff is very nice, not particularly intimate but very pleasant, Koreans and foreigners both. Nobody socializes with each that I know of.
Anyway she just gave me an invitation to her wedding, as she did the other teachers. She made it a point (through an unofficial interpreter) that I was not obligated to go at all. I had an excuse ready and I very pleasantly said that I think I was going out of town (which is actually half true). Anyway I'm not the most outgoing person in this sort of situation, and I don't think I want to go this.
So... suggestions? I thought giving her a nice bottle of wine on Friday would be a good move. Or what is a typical wedding like? Feel free to convince me to hit it up, but I've heard they're pretty dull (is there even a reception?).
Okay, fine, I'll just come right out and say it: what's the dress code, the food and drink scene, and how much coin am I dropping on a gift if I attend? |
korean weddings go by REALLY fast. the dress code isn't that great, but i'd wear a shirt and tie if you're a guy, and something nice if you're a lady, but not TOO nice. maybe church clothes.
the food and drinks depend on the bride and groom. i've had typical korean food and i've also had buffet style food.
the typical amount you'd have to drop is 30,000 won, and you give it in an envelope. no gift necessary. you won't be there for longer than 30 minutes.
i'd go because it might help you out in the future, plus it seems like you've never been to one so it'll be a good experience just to see what its like. ask if u can bring a friend so that you won't feel so out of place. |
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Bloopity Bloop
Joined: 26 Apr 2009
Location: Seoul yo
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| Posted: Mon May 16, 2011 4:10 am Post subject: |
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I'll go in your stead.
Seriously. Some of you may remember me from a thread I made a while back: "I'll be your plus one!"
I love going to K-weddings. Watch the ceremony for about 10 minutes, then go to town on the buffet!!!!!!!!!!!
Sounds like my kinda party! OHHHH YEAHHHHH.
Seriously... I would go... and pitch in for half the envelope. |
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Radius
Joined: 20 Dec 2009
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| Posted: Mon May 16, 2011 4:14 am Post subject: |
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| Bloopity Bloop wrote: |
I'll go in your stead.
Seriously. Some of you may remember me from a thread I made a while back: "I'll be your plus one!"
I love going to K-weddings. Watch the ceremony for about 10 minutes, then go to town on the buffet!!!!!!!!!!!
Sounds like my kinda party! OHHHH YEAHHHHH.
Seriously... I would go... and pitch in for half the envelope. |
are you really that desperate for a free meal? lol |
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northway
Joined: 05 Jul 2010
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| Posted: Mon May 16, 2011 4:25 am Post subject: |
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| Radius wrote: |
| Bloopity Bloop wrote: |
I'll go in your stead.
Seriously. Some of you may remember me from a thread I made a while back: "I'll be your plus one!"
I love going to K-weddings. Watch the ceremony for about 10 minutes, then go to town on the buffet!!!!!!!!!!!
Sounds like my kinda party! OHHHH YEAHHHHH.
Seriously... I would go... and pitch in for half the envelope. |
are you really that desperate for a free meal? lol |
It's not even really free if you're throwing down for the envelope, not to mention you're kind of taking advantage of the situation by splitting on said envelope. |
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Steelrails
Joined: 12 Mar 2009
Location: Earth, Solar System
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| Posted: Mon May 16, 2011 5:25 am Post subject: |
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| Is there an open bar? |
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Cedar
Joined: 11 Mar 2003
Location: In front of my computer, again.
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| Posted: Mon May 16, 2011 7:40 am Post subject: |
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for someone you barely know 30,000 is acceptable, but for anyone else it would be insulting. a good friend got married in April, I dropped 100,000. Anything less than 50,000 would be in poor taste and 40,000 is bad luck because it's 4. 30,000 was okay about 10 years ago. No need (and it's not really appropriate) to give a gift.
The ceremony will be 30 minutes, the food part at most 45. You can leave as soon as you've had your fill. Next wedding starts soon in the same room! |
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Hokie21
Joined: 01 Mar 2011
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| Posted: Mon May 16, 2011 10:46 am Post subject: |
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| Bloopity Bloop wrote: |
I'll go in your stead.
Seriously. Some of you may remember me from a thread I made a while back: "I'll be your plus one!"
I love going to K-weddings. Watch the ceremony for about 10 minutes, then go to town on the buffet!!!!!!!!!!!
Sounds like my kinda party! OHHHH YEAHHHHH.
Seriously... I would go... and pitch in for half the envelope. |
Weren't you just saying how so many ESL teachers are pathetic losers in the Womens Dating thread? Yet here you are begging to get a free buffet lunch.
 |
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PatrickGHBusan
Joined: 24 Jun 2008
Location: Busan (1997-2008) Canada 2008 -
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| Posted: Mon May 16, 2011 11:43 am Post subject: |
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| Cedar wrote: |
for someone you barely know 30,000 is acceptable, but for anyone else it would be insulting. a good friend got married in April, I dropped 100,000. Anything less than 50,000 would be in poor taste and 40,000 is bad luck because it's 4. 30,000 was okay about 10 years ago. No need (and it's not really appropriate) to give a gift.
The ceremony will be 30 minutes, the food part at most 45. You can leave as soon as you've had your fill. Next wedding starts soon in the same room! |
Once again Cedar you are on target and provide the best advice on here when it comes to cultural issues like this.
I would add that the giving of money is a reciprocal tradition so that when this particular family attends another wedding they in turn will give.
Showing up at your principal's wedding is not a big effort. It can pay off as it shows a bit of respect. |
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Kuros
Joined: 27 Apr 2004
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| Posted: Mon May 16, 2011 12:12 pm Post subject: Re: Principal's wedding- don't wanna go |
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| is so delicious wrote: |
Anyway she just gave me an invitation to her wedding, as she did the other teachers. She made it a point (through an unofficial interpreter) that I was not obligated to go at all. I had an excuse ready and I very pleasantly said that I think I was going out of town (which is actually half true). Anyway I'm not the most outgoing person in this sort of situation, and I don't think I want to go this. |
Suck it up and go. |
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Krishire
Joined: 28 Apr 2011
Location: United States
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| Posted: Mon May 16, 2011 12:46 pm Post subject: |
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Lots of Food. Very fast. And money for the new couple.
But seriously, it was a very nice gesture for her to invite you. Maybe you should find a +1 and just go. I would! It sounds like a great way to soak up some culture and get out of the flat. |
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Krishire
Joined: 28 Apr 2011
Location: United States
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| Posted: Mon May 16, 2011 12:59 pm Post subject: |
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Lots of Food. Very fast. And money for the new couple.
But seriously, it was a very nice gesture for her to invite you. Maybe you should find a +1 and just go. I would! It sounds like a great way to soak up some culture and get out of the flat. |
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IMF crisis
Joined: 27 Mar 2008
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| Posted: Mon May 16, 2011 4:13 pm Post subject: |
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| She said you don't have to go, so don't. I think your idea is good. You show no less respect by congratulation her after the honeymoon by showing up to her office with a bottle of wine and saying, "I'm sorry I couldn't attend your wedding, but I wanted to congratulate you and wish you good luck." She'll remember that a lot more than who came to the wedding. She won't even know who came and who didn't until she looks at the gift money journal. Weddings here are terrible. The people are herded in and out, the buffet food is usually the same old stuff (and not good at all unless they have a chef cooking steak or galbi right there the whole time). People don't even pay attention during the ceremony. You're not missing anything unless you're a sucker for sublimating dry ice and party poppers shot from bugles. |
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litebear
Joined: 12 Sep 2009
Location: Holland
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| Posted: Mon May 16, 2011 9:46 pm Post subject: |
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| Cedar wrote: |
for someone you barely know 30,000 is acceptable, but for anyone else it would be insulting. a good friend got married in April, I dropped 100,000. Anything less than 50,000 would be in poor taste and 40,000 is bad luck because it's 4. 30,000 was okay about 10 years ago. No need (and it's not really appropriate) to give a gift.
The ceremony will be 30 minutes, the food part at most 45. You can leave as soon as you've had your fill. Next wedding starts soon in the same room! |
I disagree with this a little actually. I think alot of Koreans dont expect foreigners to even know the custom of bringing money. When my girlfriend's sister got married and I gave them an envelope with 40,000 in it actually (didn't know about the bad luck). She was utterly delighted and very suprised, they got me a nice thank you gift from their honeymoon. |
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