Korean Job Discussion Forums

rover · Joined: 09 May 2011

and even a little more now that its taken 4 days to register this account...
Im in desperate need of advice as I really have no idea what the law is in most circumstances in korea as I havent been here too long.
Anyway, ill keep it brief.
The long and short of it is...

An old uni friend (not ex boyfriend) of my korean girlfriend started calling her everyday more and more asking her for a date a couple of months ago. As we were dating, she said no. He continued to call more and more until the point where he was calling her and asking to meet her at regular 10/20 minute intervals almost constantly.
He began to wait outside of her private students house asking to meet her as he knew she was there on saturdays. He then began to threaten her if she wouldnt speak to her. Next, one of her friends told him where she (or 'we') work daily. I confronted him as I was leaving one day and told him to go away and he attacked me. I only defended myself to the minimum as i was wary that he may go to the police and say id attacked him as there were no witnessess. After this she was so annoyed at him that after a few days of grovelling, he stopped calling.
It was ok until 3 weeks ago when she met some of her friends and he turned up. After that the calls started again.
Last saturday he turned up at her appartment (one of her freinds must have told him) screaming for her and banging on her door. She said shed talk to him if he went outside. When she went outside he grabbed her and pulled her into the car. He then proceeded to drive her around for 6 hours saying he was going to kill them both, swerving into on coming traffic etc. Eventually she managed to escape in a traffic jam and he couldnt catch her.
She would not go to the police but I made her. The police said they wouldnt do anything unless he did something again. Hes been waiting outside of work everyday and I chased him away twice this week (including last night).
I dont want to have a fight outside of work but hes saying if he sees me again hes going to attack me.
My girlfreind wont c=go to the police again becasue she thinks they are useless and wont do anything.
Im not sure I agree but it does seem that they wont do anything until she is lying face down in a ditch.
My drawn out question is, is it possible to go to a lawyer in korea nad get an injunction taken out on someone so they cant go near you. After all this is definately a case of harrassment. Is there any law in this country?

Im at my wits end and feel totally helpless. If i was at home id take a shovel to this guys face but i dont want to lose my visa becasue then I cant even walk her home at night.
HELP!

CtotheB · Joined: 03 Sep 2010

Wow, that guy sounds nuts. Maybe you should wait until you notice him hanging around and then have her call the cops who can then bust him there on the spot? He sounds crazy and it's not something to be taken lightly.

metalhead · Joined: 18 May 2010 Location: Toilet

This girlfriend of yours has no male friends or family members to take care of it? That is, assuming she is upset about it. How on earth can someone drive you around for six hours against your will?

kenglish · Joined: 10 Mar 2011

feel the power of loove~~

ChrisLamp · Joined: 27 Jul 2010

sounds like there is something she's not telling you....

Mr. Peabody · Joined: 24 Sep 2010 Location: here

West Coast Tatterdemalion · Joined: 31 Aug 2010

Be pre-emptive. A baseball bat costs around 5,000 won. The guy comes after her at night. Night=cover. I'll let you connect the dots.

chrisinkorea2011 · Joined: 16 Jan 2011

rover · Joined: 09 May 2011

i was really hoping for some constructive help with the law.
The family have reported this 3 times in the last 2 weeks to the police the last time being saturday 14 th. The police say they need evidence of the abduction before arresting him like a recording of him admitting doing it. As you can see the police are not really being helpful (or they just cant be bothered to help). So calling them is not an option unfortunately.
I have no intention of taking a baseball bat to anyones head. I am not a cowboy. Although saying that, Im not sure id be on the wrong side of the law anymore after reporting this so many times.
As for family helping. They have approached the police several times and their solution is to repeatedly try to make my girlfriend quit her job and move back home. Her brother has also contacted the guy to meet him but he is refusing to. Her brother has also contacted this guys place of work and told them what he has done but as to now, weve no idea what has come of this yet.
I didnt post this thread for bored peoples amusement. I was hoping someone would be able to tell me if there is any law which could protect a person from harassment in korea.

Cedar · Posted: Sat May 14, 2011 6:42 pm Post subject:

I was in a similar situation (as your girlfriend). The police will eventually help. But it takes them awhile to take it seriously. She needs to report everything. Call every time he's there, file formal reports with the police, formally charging him with stalking and more. They need a record of what's going on before they get involved. You can also call them based on him threatening you.

And for you doubters, the g-friend is not necessarily formerly his sweetheart, Korean men will do this without necessarily having a history with the woman.

Be really careful how you get involved. Do not get physical with this guy. Ask co-workers to witness everything (walk outside with both of you). Invest in taxis and tell them to evade following cars. Don't just go home in a taxi, go somewhere else. I hate to tell you but it forced me to leave Korea for a year and live in a different city when I came back. But the police were starting to take action when I left. It was just too late by then.

recessiontime · Posted: Sun May 15, 2011 12:15 am Post subject:

Not really sure what to do here but you made a wise decision not to kick his Korean butt that one time. If you did, it's possible that you would of gotten kicked out of Korea, right or wrong. The law pretty much sides with the stalker since he is Korean. You also did the right thing by going to the police. Now that your complaint is on record with the police if you kick his ass in the future you'll have more weight on your side. I think you've pretty much taken all the right steps so far and should give yourself a pat on the back for that.

rover · Joined: 09 May 2011

thanks you two.
Ive only held back from lashing out because im not sure what good it will do if im emailing her from another country to see how shes doing. Its taken every thread of will power i have though.
Youre right, its costing a fortune in taxis. I dont mind that for peace of mind.
Were reporting everything. At the moment were trying to get a recording of him (on her phone) admitting that he took her and that hes following her but its difficult. Thats the only thing the police will accept as evidence.
Im sorry to hear it didnt work out for you in the end, Cedar.
The law is an ass.

Cedar · Posted: Sun May 15, 2011 7:22 pm Post subject:

voice recorders (other than cell phones) also work well. She should invest in one (cheaper models are 100,000 won or less) and keep it on her at all times, learn how to turn it on and press record without looking so that she can record him. I did have some of that with my former stalker, a marvelous night where he broke a big beer bottle over -his own head- and then chased me around his apartment with the broken bottle while his horrified sister cowered in the corner (he'd already hit her). It was hard to make out the sound clearly from where it was hidden inside my bag (it was a crap recorder) but it did help convince the police. I also saved text messages from him (less damning since sender number can be faked). The ultimate thing that convinced the police though was when I provoked him into attacking me, didn't fight back, and then ran to the police station barefoot, bloody, with clothes half ripped off me and a head injury (and if you go to the hospital after you've been injured and want to charge the other person criminally I seem to remember that you don't use your insurance? I can't remember exactly, but I did have to do something special in that regard). That is the extent I had to go to before they took it seriously. Oh and have her stay sober all the time. Anything that happens if she's even the slightest bit under the influence will be twisted. If she's sober, she looks much more credible. I waited too long before getting the police involved. When I did the hardest thing was when his mom (a rural rice and chili pepper farmer) came to ask me not to charge him because it would derail his life. She was right, but he'd already derailed mine...

blm · Joined: 11 Nov 2010

Make sure you protect yourself by reporting everything that he's done against you i.e. the threats.

That way if something does happen (like an altercation) there's some sort of trail in your OWN name (i.e not just co complaints with your GF) of what he's done to you. That way it will look bad for him if there is a fight out the front of your School or Apartment because he shouldn't be there.

Guiness on Tap · Joined: 03 May 2011 Location: Seoul

Voice recorders, while accepted by the police as evidence, will not hold up in court as it is illegal to record anything without first informing the opposite party that all conversations are being recorded. If you are looking to get a restraining order, it's not the best option.
Since your GF is Korean, accompany her to the free legal advice law office in front of City Hall, or any of the free legal advice sites on the net
The lawyers there will start the proceedings for a restraining order.
They will send official inquiry papers to the Police as well (making sure they start taking your case more seriously)
Once these start rolling I'm sure that nutcase of a stalker will get the message and back off