Korean Job Discussion Forums

[SoccerFan81]

Last weekend, while taking a break outside near my apartment, I was approached/passed by a 40-something "westerner". I suppose somehow he knew that I was new to the area, so he stopped me and began to strike up a conversation. He said that he had been in Korea for 7 years, 2 in Seoul and the rest in and around Pohang. He was polite and well spoken, but EXTREMELY out-of-touch (in my opinion) and stiff. After a step-by-step of his career as a teacher in the states and in Korea, it began to dawn on me that this man actually thought he was Korean, or rather had taken on the Korean culture, and he really looked miserable.
After explaining to him that I had been in the country for 4 years, he quizzically asked if I had any problems dealing with life in Korea. I replied that my life is full of both socially and professionally, and that I was happy to stay here another year or two, however I was looking forward to returning home at some point. He explained that his life in Korea was somewhat the same in his first few years, but that he then was left with a nice monthly paycheck, few friends and little opportunity to go back home and readjust to western "ways". I was a bit taken back by his statement. It was as if he had taken on the role of the Korean "work hard, play little" and given up his social possibilities. It worried me a bit. I'm not exactly pushing 40, but I don't want the years to "dull" my sense of self.
I like my (new) job, and I enjoy Korea. It is a great place, but I am not Korean. I am simply here to experience another culture, sharpen my teaching instruments and put some money away for a lot of rainy days. Beyond that, I feel like I may not only be overstaying my welcome, but losing my "western" self. My point, or rather question, is: When does too long happen? I'm sure it is different depending on the person, job, family/home situation, but when do we need to get out before we begin to falsely take on a culture that is not ours and lose ourselves? Also, I don't mean to disrespect my new "friend", only use him as an example through observation. He was a pleasant guy, but it was obvious that his short return trips to the states are full of people considering his "ways" rude and inconsiderate, which he did mention in our brief time together. I'm not judging responses, just a curious chap hoping for some insight. Cheers.

[koreatimes]

You need to set a game plan. What do you want to work towards? For me I was in college and I only wanted to go to Japan. Finally, when I got to Japan, I didn't know what to do after 2 years. So, I spent 2 more years and due to some circumstances I returned home.

It was a rather unsuccessful feeling I had, because even though I got to Japan, I didn't feel I achieved what I wanted. I went to Korea and moved around a bit, finally found Asian women attractive and had a girlfriend. Marriage came into question, but nothing concrete. Now, recently, I am in China and something similar has happened. Hopefully, now with the right person.

Do you want to marry? If so who? Where do you want to live? If you have the desire to have a family, I strongly suggest you start looking now. It can be an uphill struggle later on. If you just want to stay single, then I think you could continue doing what you are doing without any problems. You don't need to go back home and have an office job.

[Carbon]

Not much to say, unless you want comments on your perceptions.

I suggest you meet more middle-aged people.

[greasylake]

Four years in Korea is a long time. Eight years is double that. Think about the things you learned between your 1st year and your 4th year, then double that. There is a glass wall here. Some people hit it more than others. Sometimes it is from one's own doing, sometimes it is just bad luck. Reverse culture shock is not as common as some make it to be, but it can be very real. Each individual situation is mutaully exclusive from one another. Keep your chip up and be prepared. Chance always the prepared person.

[iggyb]

I've had 7 or so years in Korea seperated by about the same number.

I think a key is whether you picture yourself as staying for a very long time or not. Each time I've come to Korea, I knew I'd never live her long term (decades). So, it has never felt like "home." Even with a Korean wife.

I've met a few foreigners who were in it for the long haul. I really didn't notice a whole lot of difference between us, though. Except for on the outside - like how they had saved up money for a nicer apartment complete with their own funishings and such - the kind of external items you'd build up if you were not anticipating having to pack up and move across the world in a year or two or three.

My time in Korea has changed me for when I go back home.

I am much less talkative. I used to be very much so, but maybe age and years of teaching intermediate and low beginners has changed me.

Another factor on going home vs staying longer is family. During my first 4 years in Korea, my grandfather died, then in the next few years back home, the rest of my grandparents died.

Now on my second tour, my father is close to death and my mother's health is not wonderful. If they were both to pass on, and given how much time I've spent in Korea the last 10-15 years, I would have much less connection with life in the States.

[skinhead]

[thegadfly]

[SoccerFan81]

Don't get me wrong, I have no feelings of losing myself. I simply recognized a great deal of it in my conversation. I suppose those who had already "lost it" wouldn't know it anyhow, right?!

In response to the early replies: I don't have a family in Korea, no wife and not really into trying to date a Korean woman. No disrespect, but I'm just not looking for that. I have dated some nice foreign women, and have great friends, but I'll wait till I am settled back home to start looking into getting myself into that "marriage" stuff.

My comment regarding my sharpening my teaching instruments is in reference to my wanting to continue teaching upon returning home. I have a valid teaching certificate that is renewable for life, thus I don't fall into the 5-year rule (5 years without classroom teaching experience and your certificate is null and void).

In closing, I like it here. I enjoy experiencing the culture, the money is good and I have been able to see many interesting places. However, I'm not Korean. I won't allow myself to end up spending my weekends cooped up in my apartment in front of a computer, talking to my family via computer video phone and keeping up with my friends via social networking just waiting for another week, month, year to go by so I can go home for a few weeks. I figure another year or two and I will be ready to head home and "live" my life before it begins to pass me by. I simply don't want to be the chap I met, lurking around to find someone to try and connect with even if if is only for a short few minutes. Enjoyes your comments guys, thanks!

[iggyb]

I think people know when to go. Whether they actually do, or can, is another question.

As for spending all the weekends in front of a computer and such, this is where the wife (or girlfriend or long-term friends) usually come into play.

Every long timer I've known in person or among the K-blogs is married to a Korean. Being married period makes the difference. When you are in a relationship, and living with someone, those weekends at home are never alone (even if you want one to be... )

It is a lot easier to feel at home some place when you are sharing the space with a companion...

Which is why this year in Korea for me is the oddest one:

I'm in the easiest job and most comfortable environment in my 8 years in Korea, but for the first time, I keep looking at the calendar and counting the weeks until I will leave.

Because, my wife has been back in the US for the past almost 2 years.

I came here for a year when her father died and her mother was living alone for the first time in many decades. As a teacher, it was easy for me to leave work in the US and come here for a short time, then go back.

Then I smashed up my leg and hip which made going home last spring impossible. And I have to hang around until another operation in August. And then there is no point going home looking for a teaching job until the following spring, so I'll stick it out until my SMOE contract is up.

But, this will be the first year living in Korea where I would rather have been home.

Another factor in this, which must hit most long-timers at some point, is that the curiosity about Korea that stuck with me for years eventually pretty much ran its course. Over the years, I've visited places and did a whole lot of reading about Korea. I also met hundreds of Korean adults while teaching and living here. I talked to them about Korea for hours and hours....

...And when the newness of Korea wore off, the desire to spend more years here began to wane with it...

[some waygug-in]

I suspect that a lot of long-termers were similar to me in that they really didn't want to stay in Korea that badly, it's just that they really didn't want to go home either.


I was bored with "Korean culture" after the first year, but what kept me going back was the thought of living in Canada and high taxes, low wages, cold winters,having to pay for a car, gas, repairs, insurance, rent, power, etc and on and on.


I don't think anyone who stays there for more than 3 years really can say that Korea is exciting anymore. It's just better than going home.

[PatrickGHBusan]

[some waygug-in]

It's not just equivalent employment, I can find much better, more satisfying work in Canada, but am barely getting by.

In Korea, even being an English monkey and being treated less than human

I could save money without even trying.


Not sure if that's still the case though.

[PatrickGHBusan]

It would depend on your field of work waygug-in.

In Korea you can do well as a Teacher (going well beyond being an English Monkey...course you are only one if you choose to be that way) or expand into other professional areas if you have qualifications.

In Canada, employment is up and down depending on the sectors, regions and trades.

I work for the public sector (got this position specifically because I worked abroad for a long time) and we are doing well financially. Then again, we had prepared for this eventuality while living in Korea by buying properties and paying them off faster through renting them. That meant that when we did move to Canada (not a planned move) we moved into a house free of morgage. Not everyone can do this of course but the basic rule is plan for it and set goals. Use that disposable income you have in Korea to invest and save.

Anyway, its different for everyone!

[Julius]

[some waygug-in]

[quote="PatrickGHBusan"]It would depend on your field of work waygug-in.

In Korea you can do well as a Teacher (going well beyond being an English Monkey...course you are only one if you choose to be that way) or expand into other professional areas if you have qualifications.

I never said that I did, didn't or couldn't.

I said that "even when I was just an English monkey" I was way better off financially than in Canada.


And I'd guess that's true for a lot of folks. Sure, it's possible to upgrade and get better opportunities, but it's also easy to do quite well just being a hagwon jockey. Or at least it was when I was there.