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Why does being "too lovey-dovey" make one a bad lover?

German men are 'world's worst lovers' with English men in second place

German men have been voted the world's worst lovers, narrowly beating English men to the unwanted title.

7:00AM BST 29 Sep 2009

A poll of 15,000 women found that Germans are considered "too smelly".

English lovers came second because they are so lazy, while men from Sweden were branded "too quick to finish" and came third.

Spanish men topped the table as the best lovers, followed by Brazilians and Italians.

The poll, carried out by global research site www.OnePoll.com, asked women from 20 countries to rate nations on their ability in bed and give reasons for their answers.

Germans were deemed to have bad body odour, Englishmen were accused of letting women do all the work, whilst Swedes were a bit too quick to finish.

Men from Holland were "too rough" between the bed covers and Americans were accused of being "too dominating" in the bedroom.

Greek men were said to be a bit too soppy.

Other countries who didn't fare well in the poll were Scotland (too loud), Turkey (too sweaty) and Wales (too selfish).

Russian men crept in at tenth place amid accusations they are too hairy for the average woman.

A spokesperson for www.OnePoll.com added: ''These results are an eye-opener for thousands of men around the world and female travellers might judge potential new lovers by looking at these results.''

WORLD'S WORST LOVERS:

1. Germany (too smelly)

2. England (too lazy)

3. Sweden (too quick)

4. Holland (too dominating)

5. America (too rough)

6. Greece (too lovey-dovey)

7. Wales (too selfish)

8. Scotland (too loud)

9. Turkey (too sweaty)

10. Russia (too hairy)


WORLD'S BEST LOVERS

1. Spain

2. Brazil

3. Italy

4. France

5. Ireland

6. South Africa

7. Australia

8. New Zealand

9. Denmark

10. Canada

[Sector7G]

[PardonTheInterruption]

[Fox]

I think there's only one reasonable, rational conclusion that can be drawn from this data: speaking a Romance language increases your sexual allure, and thus it only stands to reason that speaking Latin itself would make one sexually irresistable. The key to getting women is to sequester yourself in your bedroom and study Latin until you've mastered the language. It's so obvious.

By contrast, the ultimate female repellant (since we've all ready determined language is the key factor here) would be someone who spoke a combination of English, German, and Greek. Truly such a person would be hated by the world's women.

[caniff]

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[NovaKart]

I doubt this poll was meant to be entirely serious but I would guess most of these women probably have mostly just slept with guys from their own countries and are just basing their opinions on stereotypes. We all hear that French and Italian men are romantic but can you honestly say that Frenchmen are any less smelly than Germans? And Russians hairy? Honestly? Russian men tend to not have a lot of body hair except for guys from the Caucasus, like Georgians and Armenians. They are often very hairy. Maybe there's some confusion there.

My complaint about Turkish guys would be the complaint about the English, they want you to do all the work. I wonder if a lot of women just voted for men from their own country out of patriotism. I mean how many people can say they've had sex with a Kiwi other than people from NZ? I only ever had sex with one Brazilian and he was too effeminate for my taste.

[Space Bar]

I wonder if the results would be the same if they polled 15,000 gay men.

And how would lesbian lovers fare?

[flakfizer]

[travel zen]

20 countries? All European and Western ?

The World ??? Garbage poll !!!

[Kuros]

[bucheon bum]

[Ya-ta Boy]

[caniff]

^Yeah, a poll such as this should be based on data supplied by international sluts. A thousand Paris Hiltons - for example - giving their opinions would be far more scientific.

[Ya-ta Boy]

^Kudos on finding a way to work in the word '*beep*'. I tried to think of a nice way to do it, and failed.

Edit: Hmmm. caniff can use a certain word, but when I repeated it, it got bleeped. Interesting.