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mkpopcorn
Joined: 22 Apr 2011
Location: Oregon
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 Posted: Mon Jun 27, 2011 9:13 pm Post subject: About to leave -- and nervous as heck...any advice? |
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Hi guys!
After much planning I am finally about to leave for Korea to work at a kindergarten in Seoul...and I am so nervous! More about the change, leaving people (like my very serious boyfriend) behind, and just living than actually the teaching. I want to do this, but I am NERVOUS!! Any advice? Or just anything to calm my nerves? Thanks! |
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brento1138
Joined: 17 Nov 2004
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| Posted: Mon Jun 27, 2011 9:36 pm Post subject: Re: About to leave -- and nervous as heck...any advice? |
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| mkpopcorn wrote: |
Hi guys!
After much planning I am finally about to leave for Korea to work at a kindergarten in Seoul...and I am so nervous! More about the change, leaving people (like my very serious boyfriend) behind, and just living than actually the teaching. I want to do this, but I am NERVOUS!! Any advice? Or just anything to calm my nerves? Thanks! |
Hey there! Wow, leaving a serious BF behind for a year? You must really want to do this! I say go for it. It's a great experience. I've been back and forth since 2005 myself.
I think the best thing for calming your nerves is to realize that many of us felt the same way as you did, but once you get here and actually start meeting people, living life here, you'll probably just end up having a great time. If you read horror stories on here, don't worry, it's not the norm. Plus, if you don't like it, guess what, you can always fly right back home.
Almost everyone I know here is ultra-happy, having a great time, and glad they came. So many long-timers here for a reason: life in Korea aint bad at all!
As for actual calming of nerves, you should get a good book, drink herbal teas, try yoga/meditation, get a lonely planet book and flip through all the pages, highlighting the places in Korea you'd like to visit. There is nothing much to panic about. You'll have fun! |
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T-J
Joined: 10 Oct 2008
Location: Seoul EunpyungGu Yeonsinnae
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| Posted: Mon Jun 27, 2011 9:55 pm Post subject: |
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Deep breath. You'll be fine. What the poster above said is 100% correct.
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kimiki
Joined: 19 Dec 2008
Location: south korea
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| Posted: Mon Jun 27, 2011 10:00 pm Post subject: Re: About to leave -- and nervous as heck...any advice? |
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| mkpopcorn wrote: |
Hi guys!
After much planning I am finally about to leave for Korea to work at a kindergarten in Seoul...and I am so nervous! More about the change, leaving people (like my very serious boyfriend) behind, and just living than actually the teaching. I want to do this, but I am NERVOUS!! Any advice? Or just anything to calm my nerves? Thanks! |
firstly, wow, congrats to you for going after what you want!
secondly, this won't calm your nerves-- but it's something i wish someone had mentioned to me before i came. though i wouldn't have wanted to hear it: are you ready for the strain of a long distance relationship? i left the person who i believed was the love of my life, with plans to reunite after i achieved some experience & accumulated some savings. but the reality of being so far apart has greater implications that you might be able to conceive of right now. it is *not* easy, to put it simply. IMO, the truth is that you're basically kissing that relationship goodbye.
there are some who might disagree with me. but just consider that. my boyfriend and i broke up one year after i arrived. there was no way to repair the damage done from so many months apart, the toll it took on our intimacy-- one is forced to grow apart, essentially. fortunately i met someone else here, but...............
anyway, i think there's nothing you can do to calm the nerves about arriving & settling in. but that's part of the fun, isn't it??? just dive in and explore, you'll have a great time.....!!!! have a great trip-- |
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eamo
Joined: 08 Mar 2003
Location: Shepherd's Bush, 1964.
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| Posted: Mon Jun 27, 2011 10:11 pm Post subject: |
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I also think it's insane to leave a serious partner for one year.......especially if you think this person is 'the one'........to teach kindy in Korea!!
If I had a GF who wanted to do that do me I'd just break it off.
A year in Korea is not worth risking losing that special somebody. |
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myenglishisno
Joined: 08 Mar 2011
Location: Geumchon
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| Posted: Mon Jun 27, 2011 10:11 pm Post subject: Re: About to leave -- and nervous as heck...any advice? |
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| mkpopcorn wrote: |
Hi guys!
After much planning I am finally about to leave for Korea to work at a kindergarten in Seoul...and I am so nervous! More about the change, leaving people (like my very serious boyfriend) behind, and just living than actually the teaching. I want to do this, but I am NERVOUS!! Any advice? Or just anything to calm my nerves? Thanks! |
When I first came here, I didn't know what to expect. I read a book on Korea but beyond that I knew absolutely nothing. When I was 22 and came over, not only had I never left Canada before, I had never left the East Coast of Canada before. I thought Halifax (pop. 150k) was "the big city".
I remember getting on the transfer in Toronto and seeing nothing but Korean/Japanese people on my plane. That's when it first hit me. Then landing in Tokyo and being startled at how everything looked so similar to back home yet so different at the same time. Then landing in Incheon at night. My boss drove from Incheon to Anyang. I felt a lot of different things and everything seemed so alien to me.
Which is all very funny because anyone will tell you that after a month or two you will feel at home. After six months here, I felt fully comfortable. After a year here, I stopped thinking it was weird and after three years here (on and off) I've begun to think it's just like any other place.
Just remember that you're not in danger and everything is going to be okay. No one is out to get you (well not until you're adjusted anyway). The first week is the toughest and it's all down hill from there 
Don't read Dave's! It's not an accurate reflection of life in Korea. People come here to vent. Most of us like Korea which is why we stay. |
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Harpeau
Joined: 01 Feb 2003
Location: Coquitlam, BC
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| Posted: Mon Jun 27, 2011 10:24 pm Post subject: |
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Just remember to keep breathing and you'll be OK. The only observation about you and your bf is that what you are saying and what you are doing seem to be incongruent. Dealing with that incongruency will be one of the toughest challenges.
Last edited by Harpeau on Sun Jul 03, 2011 10:06 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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Zackback
Joined: 05 Nov 2010
Location: Kyungbuk
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| Posted: Mon Jun 27, 2011 10:35 pm Post subject: |
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| Don't leave him. |
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mkpopcorn
Joined: 22 Apr 2011
Location: Oregon
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| Posted: Tue Jun 28, 2011 3:33 pm Post subject: |
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| Thanks for the advice! I am not nervous about us (my boyfriend and I), we will make it. I just am worried about being lonely in Korea. My boyfriend has one more year of school, so its the perfect time to be away... also he is visiting in December. But, thanks for all of those who told me about your good experiences! |
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Ramen
Joined: 15 Apr 2008
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| Posted: Tue Jun 28, 2011 4:05 pm Post subject: |
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bend over and kiss your ...... hello.  |
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brento1138
Joined: 17 Nov 2004
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| Posted: Tue Jun 28, 2011 4:24 pm Post subject: |
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| mkpopcorn wrote: |
| Thanks for the advice! I am not nervous about us (my boyfriend and I), we will make it. I just am worried about being lonely in Korea. My boyfriend has one more year of school, so its the perfect time to be away... also he is visiting in December. But, thanks for all of those who told me about your good experiences! |
Just to make you feel better there was a girl who worked at a hakwon in 2005 with me who had a BF in Vancouver. Yeah, she felt lonely sometimes but had lots of friends to distract her. Also, she had skype. That was her relationship savior. They were apart for a full year. The BF actually never visited, but they met in Malaysia once on a vacation. Anyhow from what I gather they are still happily together to this day. So, anything is possible.
On the other hand, I know of quite a few couples that came over here together and broke up! So... if it's gonna happen, it's gonna happen. |
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nathanrutledge
Joined: 01 May 2008
Location: Marakesh
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| Posted: Tue Jun 28, 2011 7:31 pm Post subject: |
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OP, you're from Oregon? Smoke a nice fat blunt to relax.
I kid, I kid! Seriously, don't do that. |
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Speedling
Joined: 08 Jun 2011
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| Posted: Tue Jun 28, 2011 7:59 pm Post subject: |
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Hey there!
I'm going through a very similar experience as you! I am leaving for Incheon this Saturday and my girlfriend is not coming! She is finishing her B.Ed here in Canada and then maybe joining me in Korea but not until October and she might not come at all if something more worth while presents itself to her.
You know what though? Whatever happens happens. I can only speak for myself but I made the decision to take a year to travel and work abroad and I am comfortable with that decision. We have been together since 1999, lived together since 2005 and we trust each other. We have been separated by geography for long periods of time before and our relationship was stronger then ever. 1 year is a little longer, and I'll be a little farther. And yes I'd hate to risk losing her, but we both have to make sacrifices for each other so that we can both live happy lives
My advice is don't let your anxiety and nerves spoil your time with your bf before you leave. And try not to second guess your decisions. In the time it took to get your documents together, find a job and secure your work visa, you had plenty of time to back out but you didn't. Its normal to be nervous! We will miss our significant others, and it may be difficult at times. But I am pretty sure 30 years from now we won't regret our decision to take this risk. On the other hand, staying for her, could be a decision i would always regret.
Good luck to you! |
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loose_ends
Joined: 23 Jul 2007
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| Posted: Wed Jun 29, 2011 1:18 pm Post subject: |
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| Speedling wrote: |
Hey there!
I'm going through a very similar experience as you! I am leaving for Incheon this Saturday and my girlfriend is not coming! She is finishing her B.Ed here in Canada and then maybe joining me in Korea but not until October and she might not come at all if something more worth while presents itself to her.
You know what though? Whatever happens happens. I can only speak for myself but I made the decision to take a year to travel and work abroad and I am comfortable with that decision. We have been together since 1999, lived together since 2005 and we trust each other. We have been separated by geography for long periods of time before and our relationship was stronger then ever. 1 year is a little longer, and I'll be a little farther. And yes I'd hate to risk losing her, but we both have to make sacrifices for each other so that we can both live happy lives
My advice is don't let your anxiety and nerves spoil your time with your bf before you leave. And try not to second guess your decisions. In the time it took to get your documents together, find a job and secure your work visa, you had plenty of time to back out but you didn't. Its normal to be nervous! We will miss our significant others, and it may be difficult at times. But I am pretty sure 30 years from now we won't regret our decision to take this risk. On the other hand, staying for her, could be a decision i would always regret.
Good luck to you! |
Nothing will present itself in Canada for a new teacher, unless she is highly specialized or willing to work in the boonies. She'll be joining you in when she graduates. |
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sirius black
Joined: 04 Jun 2010
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| Posted: Wed Jun 29, 2011 4:47 pm Post subject: |
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Totally dsagree with posters that said don't leave. First, its your life. For whatever reason a move to Korea is good for YOU. Staying and putting yourself in a lesser position for someone is WORSE.
If your relationship is strong it will endure it. If it can't, then its best you find out now rather than later. Marriage or someone that is marriage material should be stronger than a year in Korea. I know people when I was in HS who went to a lesser school so they could be with a girl and the relationship still didn't last. The person gave up a prestigious uni for someone. NEVER let anyone be too important for what is best for you right now. After you are married, yes, comproimise on things but if you're not married you should be thinking of what is best for you and your bf should want that for you IF he truly loves you.
Modern technology makes it easier to have a long disance relationship, get a camera phone for your skype. Both of you save and plan to have him visit you here.
Strong marriages and relationships have lasted military tours in Iraq and Afghanistan, different colleges, etc. A strong one should last a year in Korea. If it lasts your relationship should be even stronger. If it doesn't it may an indication it would probably have not survived eventually. |
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