Korean Job Discussion Forums

[jennad]

I've been teaching (first time ever) at my Hagwon for about a month and a half. My boss told me the other day that the kindie moms think I'm a little "cold" and think I don't like their children because I don't physically touch them all that much (they've been watching me on the cameras). I give the children hugs occasionally and high-fives and tickle them some times, but I don't go overboard.

I find this whole predicament funny because in the States you would probably be arrested if you acted like my Korean co-teacher: kissing, squeezing, twirling--just constantly touching the kids.

I think my kids are adorable, but I am not a very touchy person. However, I don't want the Korean mom's to dislike me.....or give me any further trouble, apart from the usual complaints and pickiness.

I guess the obvious solution would just be to touch them more. Not sure if this is even a question so much as a post open to discussion. I just feel like if I am pressured to be more physically affectionate to the children, it will be fake and forced and awkward. I haven't ever taught children before, and I'm still learning how to interact with such tiny, young human beings. I already feel awkward enough!

I feel like they want me to be my Korean co-teacher, who is the freaking Kid Whisperer, and I just don't think I can compete with that.

Thoughts, comments......?

[Bruce W Sims]

Here in the States touching the students is very much related to the community's expectations for the teacher. There are some general guidelines, though.

A.) Touching is ALWAYS above the waist---NO EXCEPTIONS--- no pats on the butt no matter HOW well-meaning. A small student does NOT sit on the teacher's lap. Period.

B.) Touching is on the back, on the shoulder, forearm and hands. Contact obeys the "3 second rule". You don't stand with your arm around their shoulder or around their waist for minutes at a time. No hugs, rocking, spinning, tickling or twirling. None.

C.) Some cultures are very funny about touching the face and head. Some allow it and others do not. I have seen teachers kiss a favorite student on the cheek or pat a child on the cheek or top of the head. IMHO this is a no-no. Regardless of the moment I consider the face, head and neck as off-limits, though YMMV.

If you want to use reinforcers, establish with your co-teacher the type and frequency. If you have to, ask the students what non-physical reinforcers they would like. I've used point systems, candy, hand-held games, voice and gestures and notes home to the parent(s) as reinforcers. FWIW.

BTW: Its good to keep in mind that a person of the same ethnic group will have advantages with the children that you may not. For instance, as a White, male teacher, I readily accept that a Black teacher---male or female--- will be able to express themselves with their students in ways which I might not have open to me. Its just life being life.

You've also only been there a month. Give it some time.

Best Wishes,

Bruce

[marsavalanche]

Ignore Bruce, dude doesn't even live in Korea and many are questioning whether he's even stepped foot in the country. Notice how the first thing he mentions is guidelines from a completely different culture.

Just go with it.

The problem with working at a kindy, is that the parents complain for the most ridiculous things. A year ago this thread would have surprised me.

At my last job the teacher training me had his own version of "play time" for the first 15 minutes of class: he tickled, hugged, grabbed, and made the girls kiss him one by one. In my eyes it was groping and fondling and if that was America he would have easily ended up in big trouble. But this is Korea.... and I'm not saying act like that guy but one thing I've learned with kindies is that you should keep the parents happy, even if that means compromising some of your teaching style.

You seem to be going the right way about it. Someone here was recently fired for being too "boring", people here get canned for all kinds of dumb reason, so try to remember keeping the parents happy. Especially since the boss is already watching you.

[Bruce W Sims]

[SeoulNate]

[marsavalanche]

[Bruce W Sims]

[jennad]

[jennad]

[Kinbensha]

Hey there.

I'm guessing you've never lived in East Asia before. I'm mixed race Japanese/Caucasian and have lived in East Asia extensively. Let me tell you one thing: let go of your American ideas about what is and is not appropriate for a teacher.

Americans are some of the strangest teachers I've ever encountered. They approach students like they're the enemy, and everyone is worried about sexual harassment even when there's nothing to indicate that it's happening. In Asia, you're supposed to be friends with your students. I wouldn't go so far as to kiss them, as I grew up in the US, but if you're not touching your students, then you *are* being cold to them.

The American school system is really conservative when it comes to how teachers are supposed to act, and if you think about it, there's really no reason to assume that everyone's bad like that. It just creates feelings of distrust between teachers and students that aren't conducive to a healthy teaching environment.

So loosen up, hug your kids, and have fun. If you can't, you should probably teach somewhere else, because the Korean mothers are right. In Korea, you're being cold and standoffish.

[koreatimes]

This reminds me of a public school I worked at. Students had lunch, and the younger ones would have about 30 minutes with nothing to do. So they would come to my classroom. I ended up locking one entrance to the building so I could get some peace and quiet during lunch. They really don't comprehend the meaning of break time.

"Don't touch" was a common command amongst the young ones, now it is simply "Quiet" for the older students.

I have no problem drawing lines between me and the students. Also, it's not just between you and the students, but also you and the school. Two days ago, one class talked with the Chinese teacher and then she told them to ask me a question. They asked for my phone number.

I had to confront both school and students on this, and calmly explained, "I have 34 different classes at the public school (45 students in each class), and now 15 students in 3 different classes for summer. That is 1,500 students." I didn't have to say anymore before the Chinese teacher started cracking up laughing. The idea of that many calling, when they don't even say much in class, brought legitimate concern as to why I needed to "loosen up" or not be "standoffish".

You may see differences in American teaching and teaching in Korea. However, what you don't see is the dynamic of numbers. We don't have loads of kids looking up to us as "English gods" in America. I spent a lot of time with kids as a counselor, and I did play a lot with them. However, the numbers are significantly higher here in Asia when it comes to interacting with kids.

If parents want to continue complaining, then I would invite them to have a sleepover at their house. Maybe then they will understand how much we as teachers are used to entertain, teach, play, and are looked up to as a role model.

Sorry to all the aspiring Santa Claus and circus clowns. I wasn't referring to you as English teachers.

[OiGirl]

Especially for kindergarten, try to love the kids as much as you can and show them this physically as you might your nieces and nephews. At this age they need nurturing as much as instruction.

[ThingsComeAround]

What OiGirl said, +1

You are a surrogate parent. The parents themselves want you to be the 'Dutch Uncle/Aunt' of their child.

Bruce, your advice is counterproductive for this situation. Please post after gaining experience in country.

[Bruce W Sims]

[Captain Corea]

You can certainly tell the posters with experience in Korea apart from those who lack it.

OP, listen to the two posters above me.