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yeahyeahyeah
Joined: 12 Apr 2011
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Posted: Sat Jul 09, 2011 7:46 am Post subject: Going out with "new money" Koreans |
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So a friend of mine has a problem, and we're a bit stumped on how to deal with it. I was wondering if anyone here has any advice.
Here's what she told me:
"My bosses are cool. Love my work environment, and when we go out together, slowly we are being allowed to treat. Like, they came over to ours for dinner and last week they wanted to take us out for my birthday, but we had plans, so we invited THEM to dinner this week. We suggested a restaurant. Now, they have always taken us to SUPER fancy spots
save once for drinking at a BBQ place, and we wanted to hang out somewhere more casual. But i could see that my boss, the wife wasn't comfy with how casual the place was.
So i said, they know more places, they can suggest, we will treat. So, tonight we drive past the place i suggested, and then decide, again, no.
So they take us to this SUPER SWISH japanese place and as the husband is parking the car, the wife says, they would like to treat dinner, and we can pay for drinks. So we had dinner, and then we suggested a place to drink (i suggested Njoy, we were across the street)
I'm not sure if they didn't understand, but it somehow got vetoed
and we ended up at this hotel bar, which was swish. Don't get me wrong, i don't mind a nice fancy meal once in a while, but I'm more casual than that and more comfy in a casual environment.
How do I get that across to them without being rude?
I'd rather hang out in a HOF and BBQ joint than Japanese, but the husband seems to LOVE Japanese food
AND, the girl who had the job last, I think she pulled a runner, so I think they are trying to impress; but i just find it exhausting. I like them, I do, but I'd rather drink 5000won beer and eat pork. Tonight we were drinking a plum liquor from HK that's 20USD/oz and eating BEAUTIFUL japanese food, which is lovely. I'm not ungrateful, but I'm more comfy in something less fancy. I keep saying I wanted to try something more casual
I know there is a language barrier; their English is not great, and sometimes it takes a few tries to get a point across, but we all like each other. There is good faith there, like everyone assumes that the point that is not understood will be a good one"
Anyone got some advice for my friend? |
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litebear
Joined: 12 Sep 2009 Location: Holland
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Posted: Sat Jul 09, 2011 8:13 am Post subject: Re: Going out with "new money" Koreans |
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yeahyeahyeah wrote: |
Anyone got some advice for my friend? |
You could have saved yourself all this typing by simply telling her "That isn't a real problem. Please shut up, you idiot." Seems pretty obvious. |
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bobbyhanlon
Joined: 09 Nov 2003 Location: 서울
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Posted: Sat Jul 09, 2011 5:10 pm Post subject: |
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tell them you want a 'real korean experience', ie. makgeolli or something like that. if i ever go out somewhere with flashy types, or end up on a date with a princessy girl, i play the foreigner card by enthusiastically saying that i want to eat/drink something korean (even though its hardly a new experience any more). if you're lucky, the natural delight in seeing some waygukin love for korean stuff should neutralise the pretentiousness. |
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Gorf
Joined: 25 Jun 2011
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Posted: Sun Jul 10, 2011 3:57 am Post subject: |
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World's smallest violin. |
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PatrickGHBusan
Joined: 24 Jun 2008 Location: Busan (1997-2008) Canada 2008 -
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Posted: Sun Jul 10, 2011 4:08 am Post subject: |
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Well since they were treating you...oh nevermind if you missed something that simple and obvious its useless!
Good luck out there. |
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BankOfRC
Joined: 06 May 2010
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Posted: Sun Jul 10, 2011 4:15 am Post subject: |
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Send her to a psychologist is my advice. Anyone who complains about that is a moron. |
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ssuprnova
Joined: 17 Dec 2010 Location: Saigon
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Posted: Sun Jul 10, 2011 6:24 am Post subject: |
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BankOfRC wrote: |
Send her to a psychologist is my advice. Anyone who complains about that is a moron. |
truth. |
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Steelrails

Joined: 12 Mar 2009 Location: Earth, Solar System
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Posted: Sun Jul 10, 2011 8:44 am Post subject: |
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Don't let the restaurant rule your moods. Learn how to enjoy that style of dining and go with it. Enjoy hofs and meet, enjoy urban upscale. It's a new world to get into- the upscale dining establishments of Seoul. Start some blog about it or something. Not that we need another one of those. But maybe someone can actually write one that doesn't suck. |
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madoka

Joined: 27 Mar 2008
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Posted: Sun Jul 10, 2011 10:15 am Post subject: |
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While I know it sounds petty to complain about being treated to lavish meals, I do understand where the girl is coming from. Personally, I'm pretty happy with the Wing Lover's Special at El Pollo Loco. But there are times when your boss, relatives, or friends want to go somewhere much nicer and you may not feel entirely comfortable with that.
My old boss likes to eat well. When we go out to dinner, my meal by itself with no alcohol could cost upwards of $125. I sometimes don't enjoy myself as much as I could have, because of the extravagence of it all. For example, one sidedish was saffron rice covered with edible gold foil which contained real gold. I was stuck sitting there wondering who the heck would eat this stuff! |
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Steelrails

Joined: 12 Mar 2009 Location: Earth, Solar System
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Posted: Sun Jul 10, 2011 3:35 pm Post subject: |
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One thing to add, it is important to develop the skill to eat in upscale places AND be comfortable about it.
Second, there is a reason that people with money prefer places like that. Sometimes (not always, we're talking 50-50 here) the food is superior and or /healthier.
I mean A nice casual night at samgyupsal/the chicken hof with some baseball on the TV is a blast, but sometimes you want raw fish and leave feeling refreshed, not bloated and greasy.
And it also depends on what you want to talk about. Casual places are great to get away from work. But sometimes you want to talk a little shop or something slightly serious and an upscale place can be good for that.
Bottom line they each have their time and place and its good to develop an appreciation for both. From a sack of 10 at White Castle to a gourmet privately cooked meal by the chef and everything in between, its a great experience. |
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ThingsComeAround

Joined: 07 Nov 2008
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Posted: Sun Jul 10, 2011 4:13 pm Post subject: |
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How about you tell your friend to grow a pair and choose where you want to eat. On their birthday? No votes- she decides. |
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rainman3277
Joined: 13 Sep 2009
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Posted: Mon Jul 11, 2011 5:44 am Post subject: |
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Steelrails wrote: |
One thing to add, it is important to develop the skill to eat in upscale places . |
Why? |
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PatrickGHBusan
Joined: 24 Jun 2008 Location: Busan (1997-2008) Canada 2008 -
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Posted: Mon Jul 11, 2011 6:26 am Post subject: |
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rainman3277 wrote: |
Steelrails wrote: |
One thing to add, it is important to develop the skill to eat in upscale places . |
Why? |
Perhaps because you may one day have to eat somewhere other than McDs and know what the rules of etiquette are....or who knows... |
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northway
Joined: 05 Jul 2010
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Posted: Mon Jul 11, 2011 6:38 am Post subject: |
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rainman3277 wrote: |
Steelrails wrote: |
One thing to add, it is important to develop the skill to eat in upscale places . |
Why? |
Right, and why should I buy a suit? Or get a haircut? |
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Steelrails

Joined: 12 Mar 2009 Location: Earth, Solar System
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Posted: Mon Jul 11, 2011 8:13 am Post subject: |
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northway wrote: |
rainman3277 wrote: |
Steelrails wrote: |
One thing to add, it is important to develop the skill to eat in upscale places . |
Why? |
Right, and why should I buy a suit? Or get a haircut? |
Seriously, there always seems to be people that are carrying the "horror" of the time mom made them take a bath, put on decent clothes, and go out to some fancy restaurant after church. Instead they wanted to stay stinky, wear yesterday's clothes, eat at McD's and play video games on a Sunday. Nothing wrong with any of those, and when you're an adult you can make a choice about which things to do, but seriously, Age 6-17 was years in the past. Get over it. |
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