Korean Job Discussion Forums

Kennyftw · Joined: 08 Aug 2011

I'm informed that if you have to do wal-sae which is renting and paying monthly on a place to live after marriage essentially makes you a loser and a non-provider in the eyes of your Korean wife's mom's and friends' eyes. The only way, I'm told, not to be laughed at is by buying a 70k apartment BEFORE marriage to live in.
WHO IN THIS DAY IN AGE CAN DROP 70-80K ON A HOUSE like it's nothing? Yea, I gots plenty more where that came from..

It's culture. Oh the blessed Korean culture. God love it.

Planning a wedding is headache for all you waegookins wanting to get married. Be prepared to hear, "Your folks can't come..oh now we cant do pae-bek," or whatever it is. "You can't do hahm either."

I wanted to fly to Hawaii and have a private wedding and forget everyone...but....well, now in in the 9th inner circle of hell trying to see this thing through.
I need a drink.
btw, jun-sae can kiss my a5s.

skinhead · Joined: 11 Jun 2004

I got a $500 suit out of it. And 'mooned in The Maldives. Razz

jamesd · Joined: 15 Aug 2011 Location: Korea

What do you get in return?

Kennyftw · Joined: 08 Aug 2011

CentralCali · Joined: 17 May 2007

Kennyftw · Joined: 08 Aug 2011

skinhead · Joined: 11 Jun 2004

Kennyftw · Joined: 08 Aug 2011

PatrickGHBusan · Posted: Fri Aug 26, 2011 11:21 am Post subject:

Cali, in Korean terms, his fiance may care what her family thinks. This can be quite important to her so it would need to be considered to some extent right?

OP, too bad for you that this is turning out this way.

When we married (granted is was a long time ago (1998)) the wedding was not a hassle and we sure did not buy an appartment outright. We put down key money in order not to pay rent initially. No one batted an eyelash in her family. We saved up and bought an appartment a couple of years later.

Now about this frustration you have with the local culture..better get used to it as you are marrying someone from that culture and as such, you will have to adapt to it in some form or another just like she will have to adapt to your culture. That is part of any international mariage....

Everyone is different and you can (and am sure you are) discuss this with your fiance. Each of you will need to bend and adapt.

I prefered a small wedding....I ended up with a wedding with 400 guests Laughing

Good luck to you both and I wish you all the happiness in the world Very Happy

Triban · Joined: 14 Jul 2009 Location: Suwon Station

In 4 years you should be able to save at least 60 million. 30 in two years then you can get a loan for another 30....well, you can't, but your soon to be wife can do it for you. In retrospect, that might still make you look like a loser.

Triban · Joined: 14 Jul 2009 Location: Suwon Station

In 4 years you should be able to save at least 60 million. 30 in two years then you can get a loan for another 30....well, you can't, but your soon to be wife can do it for you. In retrospect, that might still make you look like a loser.

jvalmer · Joined: 06 Jun 2003

ulsanchris · Joined: 19 Jun 2003 Location: take a wild guess

for the first few years of my marriage the wife and i live in a two room. we paid jonsae. Her family didn't seem to mind. but then again her family wasn't too wealthy so they didn't worry too much about that sort of thing.
if your fiance's family is middle to upper middle class they will worry about that sort of thing and constantly remind your fiance about it.
one tactic they you could try is keep telling everyone that there is a property bubble now and that buying an apartment now would be stupid.

tiger fancini · Joined: 21 Mar 2006 Location: Testicles for Eyes

Monthly rent is pretty common for newly-married couples in Seoul these days. Most landlords don't want Jon-sae because the interest rates are so low now.

And in many, many cases, the large amount of money that is put down for accommodation is donated by parents.

drydell · Joined: 01 Oct 2009

OP - i'll second what Patrickghbusan has said..

Unfortunately - as you have found out - the groom's parents are supposed to have saved up a big chunk of money for the post marriage apartment. If the grooms parents do not have these savings it means that the family must be very poor. This means the groom and his family will be looked down upon and lose a lot of respect. Invariably this becomes a difficult situation for most westerners marrying into Korean families whose own families would laugh at fronting a hundred million Won or so for a wedding gift..

What do Koreans do in these situations?....they lie.

Your fianc�e is probably hoping that your family will come up with a least some of the goods. If there is no chance of that you have a couple of options to avoid losing family respect.

1. Get a wolsae and just lie about it (pretend you did a jonsae).

2. Your fianc�e can probably get a big loan from her company, if it is a decent company, at hugely preferential rates to a bank. 70 mill loan would equal about two fifty per month interest in this case. Again lie about where the money came from.

When you have your F2 you can register as a private tutor and start saving some serious money (or get a second job). you should look at saving 30-60 million per year depending on your situation. Do this at least for a while until you have cleared your debts and then relax a bit and enjoy your savings. You are fortunate that your wife is well paid too it will mean that you won't have to work too much extra... Wink

good luck!