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Louis VI
Joined: 05 Jul 2010
Location: In my Kingdom
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 Posted: Thu Sep 01, 2011 9:20 pm Post subject: What gift to give the Korean boss when his father dies? |
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The father of my Korean boss died today after a long struggle with cancer. The hagwon will be closed Monday and tomorrow all the staff will convene at the hospital.
I want to know what an appropriate gesture would be in the Korean context?
Flowers? Letter? Card? I of course could do a Western gesture, but I'd like to know of some Korean ways too in deciding what to do.
I would appreciate input from those who have been through this before or have heard about what Koreans do and give in such situations. |
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brucefox
Joined: 23 Jan 2011
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| Posted: Thu Sep 01, 2011 9:24 pm Post subject: |
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Cash for the ferryman.
Okay I've neve been to a Korean funeral. Sorry.
But seriously. I heard it was customary to donate money to the mourning family to help cover the funeral costs. Of course, in one of them white envelopes. |
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oldtrafford
Joined: 12 Jan 2011
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| Posted: Thu Sep 01, 2011 9:40 pm Post subject: |
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| In Korea, it's one thing: money!! 30,000 or if you're a close relative of the family, it's 50,000 Won. |
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sadguy
Joined: 13 Feb 2011
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| Posted: Thu Sep 01, 2011 10:08 pm Post subject: |
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| money for everything, funerals, weddings... actually, that's all i can think of. |
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DaHu
Joined: 09 Feb 2011
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| Posted: Fri Sep 02, 2011 10:51 am Post subject: |
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| Are you Korean? Give nothing. You're not involved. You don't exist. |
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Louis VI
Joined: 05 Jul 2010
Location: In my Kingdom
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| Posted: Fri Sep 02, 2011 12:05 pm Post subject: |
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| DaHu wrote: |
| Are you Korean? Give nothing. You're not involved. You don't exist. |
No, I am not Korean but I AM involved. As I stated, I and all other staff at the hagwon are expected to convene at the hospital in the morning. I am invited to the funeral and so have some obligations. |
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IanChops
Joined: 19 Mar 2009
Location: Pyeongchon, South Korea
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| Posted: Fri Sep 02, 2011 1:06 pm Post subject: |
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<edited for pointlessness.>
Last edited by IanChops on Fri Sep 02, 2011 9:35 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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Louis VI
Joined: 05 Jul 2010
Location: In my Kingdom
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| Posted: Fri Sep 02, 2011 1:53 pm Post subject: |
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I have decided to give a card with a short letter in it and the one form of true help I could provide: my time. I was supposed to go on three-day vacation right after Chuseok but I have indicated I won't, instead working hard for him. The academy has no replacement teachers and it's a clear inconvenience when us waygook teachers insist on our right to days off. My sincere words and action instead of giving money.
It just didn't seem right to give money to the man who owns a new building, drives a new car, owns his own business and who also pays my paycheque, including giving me my requested advance on my severence pay. It may be tradition to give money because funerals are expensive and it is a practical form of help. But for him, money is not the form of help he needs. Instead of a pro forma token of tradition, I am counting on the liberty of being non-Korean by doing something I feel is less superficial, more meaningful. I am still putting a white enveloipe into the box, so it's not like I'm violating procedure during the funeral proceeding.
Anyways, it's this morning, and I'll post afterwards how it went.
G'day. |
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PatrickGHBusan
Joined: 24 Jun 2008
Location: Busan (1997-2008) Canada 2008 -
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| Posted: Fri Sep 02, 2011 1:54 pm Post subject: |
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| Money is appropriate in this case. |
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brucefox
Joined: 23 Jan 2011
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| Posted: Fri Sep 02, 2011 5:19 pm Post subject: |
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You are obviously not giving him money because he needs it.
You are giving it for the dead and his ferry ride across the Styx..
Okay you are giving it because it's apparently what you do in Korea.
But I think your gift is also quite sincere and great. |
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Louis VI
Joined: 05 Jul 2010
Location: In my Kingdom
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| Posted: Fri Sep 02, 2011 7:20 pm Post subject: |
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| brucefox wrote: |
| I think your gift is also quite sincere and great. |
Thanks. I put the card and letter in a white envelope and into the box in front of the picture shrine at the hospital, bowing just like everyone else, followed by a pork meat, kimchi and noodle soup lunch at the cafeteria next door. It felt like a factory line, except for the warm two-handed shake and smile my boss gave me when I left. |
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DaHu
Joined: 09 Feb 2011
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| Posted: Sat Sep 03, 2011 2:20 am Post subject: |
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| Louis VI wrote: |
| , except for the warm two-handed shake and smile my boss gave me when I left. |
This DOES actually make it worthwhile... I'm still against the gift part though.. seems like showing up would have been enough... |
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PatrickGHBusan
Joined: 24 Jun 2008
Location: Busan (1997-2008) Canada 2008 -
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| Posted: Sat Sep 03, 2011 3:11 am Post subject: |
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| Louis VI wrote: |
| brucefox wrote: |
| I think your gift is also quite sincere and great. |
Thanks. I put the card and letter in a white envelope and into the box in front of the picture shrine at the hospital, bowing just like everyone else, followed by a pork meat, kimchi and noodle soup lunch at the cafeteria next door. It felt like a factory line, except for the warm two-handed shake and smile my boss gave me when I left. |
It is a funeral type event...what did you expect? Surpises? Games? Special Guests and entertainers?
Seriously, a person dies, it will be sober, simple and solemn.
The meal is a place for people to gather together. Kind of standard fare for a funeral or such an event.
Glad it turned out ok for YOU however... |
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Louis VI
Joined: 05 Jul 2010
Location: In my Kingdom
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| Posted: Sat Sep 03, 2011 5:37 am Post subject: |
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| PatrickGHBusan wrote: |
| It is a funeral type event...what did you expect? Surpises? Games? Special Guests and entertainers? |
What's with the attitude? Because I described it as feeling like a factory line? Geez. It was simply part of my description of the event. I've been to several funerals back home and there was always a sense of emotion in the air, and not so many repetitive behaviours. I was making an observation. All I wanted was to find out how to show my sympathy and support. You must be having a bad day PGHB. |
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oldtrafford
Joined: 12 Jan 2011
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| Posted: Sat Sep 03, 2011 3:11 pm Post subject: |
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| Your boss will be pissed, you don't follow the norm: dosh!! I wouldn't have cancelled your hols, it's a hogwon right? 10 days a year takes the biscuit as it stands, man up and do your holiday!! |
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