Korean Job Discussion Forums

[weso1]

I'm really tired of women complaining about the media forcing these "unreal expectations" of what women should look like on everyone.

I will concede that most runway models for the high fashion industry are dangerously thin and frankly, unattractive to most men. But that is one specific body type for a very specific industry. Much the same as a 300lb NFL lineman is dangerously overweight and probably not very attractive to most women.

But just because models in magazines and billboards and actresses on TV shows and singers on stage are fit and lean, does not mean that body type is "unreal." I mean look around, if there are that many women in the media that are thin, then it can't possibly be unreal. In fact, it's very real, I see it everyday.

Maybe it's "unreal" because a lot of Western women would rather come home each day and flop on the couch, rather than hit the gym for a few hours? Or maybe it's "unreal" because they decided to cram a Big Mac and an extra large fries down their gullet at lunch and then wash it down with a *diet coke, instead of having a salad or even sandwich from subway? Maybe it's "unreal" to you because you have never actually put in the effort to control your weight and have just decided to complain about how fit everyone you see on TV is, but then still expect men to worship you because you have a vagina?

I've been in dozens of gyms back home and here in Korea. In a typical American gym, you might fight 2 or 3 women in there doing actual work. A dozen are on stationary bikes, barely moving their legs, texting on their phone, or sipping a double cream chocolate latte. The others are on their tredmills scrolling through the TV channels. Once they settle on whatever season of "Real Housewives" is on, they might crank up the speed for 5 minute, bust a little sweat, and then quit and call it a day.

Meanwhile, just about any gym you walk into here, easily half the people in it are women. Women that are already thin enough, they don't need to be there, but there they are and they've got all the tredmills and stationary bikes occupied for the next 30 minutes at least. They're either there or in their "GX" classes doing Taebo to Korean techno. The only downside I've seen, is that I've never see a Korean woman lift a weight.

The point I'm making is, you're fat for a reason. It's not because that's what a "real woman" looks like. It's not because Lindsay Lohan or pre-preggers Beyonce have "unreal" body types. (By the way, I only think one of those two is actually talented and deserves her fame - shouldn't be too hard to guess which one.) They have obviously taken the time and put in the effort to control their weight and keep themselves fit and healthy.

And breaking news, it isn't easy. It's hard. So you may actually have to apply yourself for once. You probably wont just get this handed to you like everything else in your life. It's not enough to put in the work for a week or two and then expect results. It takes months and years to achieve the kind of body we see on television and in movies. It takes a commitment to constantly better yourself. Because you're not doing it for me or any other man. You're doing it for yourself. You can not expect someone to love and respect you, if it's obvious you do not love and respect yourself.

I'm pretty sure I ruined someone's night last night while hanging out with my friends in Hongdae. We were at a bar, just hanging out. The music was loud, there were a few people dancing. We could see on the other side of the room two Western females who my friends and I named "2 tons of fun." They were laughing and having a good time. Eventually one of them approached me, acting as sexy as she could, and asked if I wanted to come hang out with her and her friend. I told her "no, that's okay." She then replied playfully "oh I see, you're just into Korean girls then, huh?" "No, that's not it." I responded. "I'm just not into girls that weigh more than me. "

It was obviously a bucket of cold water for her. I am sorry the situation happened, however I am not sorry I said it. Perhaps it is what she needed to make the change she needs to make. I too was once in her position. I did not care for myself as I should. It took me being publicly humiliated about my weight on more than one occasion for me to finally do something about it. So I do not claim to be better than her or anyone else. But I do understand and know from personal experience, that we all make excuses. And saying that models and actresses and the media are projecting "unreal expectations" is an excuse.

[edwardcatflap]

Nice rant. I agree with the part about the 'media are projecting "unreal expectations" , that phrase annoys me too. If you want to be overweight be overweight, if not, go to the gym as you say, don't blame the media for it. It annoys me as much as the old excuse about all the advertising on the media forcing people to desire material possessions and run up huge debts to pay for it all. It's not the advertiser's fault, their job is to make people buy stuff.

On the other hand there's no point in being rude to people who are trying to be friendly. How do you know the woman in Hondae wanted to sleep with you, she might have just been inviting you into their conversation? Maybe you would have enjoyed her and her friend's company, overweight or not.

[radcon]

That was kind of a deuche move on your part OP. No need to be mean. Nothing like sanctimonious ex fatties.

[Maserial]

[Skipperoo]

[hogwonguy1979]

troll

[laynamarya]

Let's just set aside for a moment that insults are rarely helpful motivation for anyone to change their lives for the better. I'd rather talk about the media.

When most people complain about "media's unrealistic expectations" of what women are supposed to look like, they are not complaining about models' thinness, per se. They are referring to the almost-universal extreme photoshopping that is done by the media. We're talking about digitally cropping out parts of cover models' legs, we're talking about digitally removing the pores from women's face, we're talking about making someone's eyes bigger and their neck longer, completely changing someone's appearance with technology, NOT with diet and exercise.

The women who show up in ads and magazines are not actual human beings. Check out Dove's "Evolution" video sometime, or better yet, "Killing Us Softly 4" on Youtube. That's what we mean by unrealistic expectations.

Diet and exercise are great, I am a huge fan. Heck, I weigh 120 pounds. Weight is not a big issue for me. But that doesn't mean I will ever look like the models on the cover of a magazine, because even the actual models don't look like that. The media does, in fact, create these illusions of flawlessness that no one on God's green earth can attain. That is what we mean by "unrealistic expectations." Those women aren't real, so why do so many women, and worse, so many men, expect actual women to look like them?

[edwardcatflap]

[Pa Jan Jo A Hamnida]

Nice bit of creative writing there. You missed your calling

[AlastairKirby]

"I'm just not into girls that weigh more than me. "

As a man you are allowed to think this. But to say it to a girls face after she has approached you and been friendly to you? That is the behaviour of a world class James Blunt.

Considering how rare it is for girls to approach guys you should be courteous enough to talk to her. There are subtle ways of showing her you're not interested. No need to be a James Blunt about it.

Or use my method. Talk about something really, really boring.

Bear this in mind as well. I personally don't find chubby girls attractive but I know guys who do and prefer them when it comes to matters of the bedroom.

I like petite skinny girls because I like being able to wrap my arms around them, pick them up, and spin them around. Not just in the bedroom, but in general. So my preference is for skinny girls. I'd never look at a chubby girl and make judgements about her lifestyle or consider her repulsive.

I'd also never call a girl fat to her face. I have 3 sisters. Learned the hard way...

[weso1]

To the haters: I didn't have a problem with them being there. And when she first waddled over to me, belly hanging out, and brushed her hair back, puckered her lips, and put on her best bedroom eyes, I politely declined her offer. But then when she accused me of being so shallow as to only be interested in a girl based on race, I thought it appropriate to smack that idea down.

It's wrong to be racist. No one chooses their race. And from birth, all races are the same.

It's wrong to be sexist. No chooses their gender. And just because I was born male, does not make me better than someone who is female, or even transgender.

It's wrong to be homophobic. Some people are born straight and some are born gay. That's just how it is. I can no more choose to be gay as someone else can choose to be straight.

But being fat is a choice. And just as it is someones choice what clothes they wear or what activities they choose to participate in, I am free to discriminate against, or for them based on their choices.

It isn't an active choice. No one wakes up in the morning and says to themselves "I'm going to be fat today" or "I'm going to be thin." But it is a passive choice. They make that choice when they wake up and say "I could go for a run, but I'm not going to." It's a choice at lunch when they opt for the burger and fries over the salad or soup. It's a choice at the end of the day when they decide to go home, lay on the couch, and watch tv and eat pizza, rather than hit the gym for a few hours.

It is wrong to hate people or discriminate against people for the things they cannot change. But when you choose to be fat, obese even, and then accuse me of essentially being racist, after I did not interject myself into your good time and first politely declined your invitation... well, I have no problem saying it's because you're fat.

[edwardcatflap]

Asking if someone prefers Korean girls is not racist. Nor is it particularly rude. Your reply was rude. You can claim it's ok to be rude to fat people if you want but it's a bit rich trying to take the moral high ground.

[NYC_Gal 2.0]

How do you know if she hadn't just lost 30 pounds and was starting to feel a bit more confident? Perhaps she IS on her way to becoming fit.

Hell, I gained quite a bit of weight my first 2 years here due to a change to a carb-heavy diet (I didn't know about some of the very wonderful online sources for vegetarians at the time and ate a lot of brown rice and buckwheat noodles, which, while healthy-ish, were still more carbs than my body was used to) and crappy gyms that grossed me out, but have lost most of it in the past few months, and almost fit back into my size 0s (I'm short, so it isn't anorexic looking.) If someone had called me fat when I was a size 4/5 I would have thrown my drink in their face and called them a c**t.

What you did is like someone poking you and you hitting them with a hammer in retaliation. You, sir, are a jackhole.

EDIT: http://www.mamamia.com.au/style/send-this-clip-to-every-single-woman-you-know/

Now, this video isn't a free pass to eat big macs (I've never eaten one, nor am I interested in doing so) and be a couch potato, but women do have some unrealistic expectations pressed upon them.

[The Cosmic Hum]

[Pa Jan Jo A Hamnida]

I suppose being a rude asshat is also a choice Anyway, the OP is having his fun. Don't get wound up by it. Making fun of overweight people is a popular pastime on Dave's. It probably gets people who failed at home through their hogwon grind. Or, it's just Millennial impotence.