Korean Job Discussion Forums

HANGRY · Joined: 04 Feb 2011

Anybody know about rejecting last-minute heishiks? Like did you get any flak for it later?

There is a big school dinner to introduce new teachers tomorrow night, that the brass decided about yesterday, and decided to inform everyone of today. Apparently this is a Korean thing.

I already made plans like a week ago to pick up my girlfriend from the airport.

I've already cancelled plans before because of these school dinners, but I thought this was kind of the last straw. Anybody know if there is any fallout from rejecting these kinds of things so I can prepare for it?

waynehead · Joined: 18 Apr 2006 Location: Jongno

If you have plans already you shouldn't stress about it. If they don't understand, well, that's their problem, not yours.

Of course the truth is they may choose to misunderstand and be offended. So goes the hoeshik culture here in Korea. If you could show up late or leave early and still take care of your business, it would probably go a long way.

PigeonFart · Joined: 27 Apr 2006

You have to pick up your gfriend from the airport. There's no question about where your loyalty should lie. Forget about the school dinner.

pkang0202 · Joined: 09 Mar 2007

I never canceled on any dinners at my last school. They loved me.
My replacement canceled on the dinners. They don't like her.

And when I went back to my last school and asked them how the new teacher was doing, do you know what they said? "____ doesn't socialize with the teachers."

OP, I understand you got plans. And its not fair of the school to dump this on you at the last minute. However, its the same with ALL the teachers at you school. Don't you think all the otehr teachers have plans also? They will cancel in the name of work. You will not.

That is how your superiors will view it. If you are gonna cancel, then be prepared for the aftermath.

Have you canceled a lot of these dinners before?

HANGRY · Joined: 04 Feb 2011

I usually don't. I try to make it to everything I get invited to. I even cancel things to go to the dinners. It's just that tomorrow is a little different, so I felt I had to put the foot down. And I don't think I can make it late or early. to the dinner because she is coming right at the dinner's time.

I think it's a little ridiculous that they care so much that I show up since half the time I just sit there eating and not understanding their conversation.

TheUrbanMyth · Joined: 28 Jan 2003 Location: Retired

Skippy · Joined: 18 Jan 2003 Location: Daejeon

Troglodyte · Joined: 06 Dec 2009

You can also say that you'd really like to go to the dinner because you always enjoy them. Tell them that you and your girlfriend will be getting back into the city around ___ o'clock and want to know if the group will still be there so that you can join the fun. Since you know that they won't (from past experience) you can act sad that you'll be missing the group bonding experience.

PatrickGHBusan · Posted: Tue Mar 13, 2012 3:54 am Post subject:

Simple solution if time allows it: Tell your school you have to pickup your gf at the airport but that you could join the dinner later with her.

Everyone wins.

amoonbot · Joined: 29 Jul 2009

It's not a big deal if you bail out on a few of these dinners. As long as you show effort and come to as many as you can, you should be good.

goreality · Joined: 09 Jul 2009

I think you have a good excuse, and since you already understand the importance of these events no need to lecture you. But In Korea company comes before girlfriend. Perhaps you can just say you are whipped and explain to them what it means....they will have a good laugh.

jurassic82 · Joined: 21 Jun 2006 Location: Somewhere!!!!

Don't stress the dinner. I have canceled many times before because I had previous plans. As long as you are curtious to you coworkers in the office and at least make in effort to attend other works dinners and functions then you should be fine. You have a good excuse and to be honest they could probablly care less if you showed up. A lot of good advice has been offered so far. Don't worry too much about it.

edwardcatflap · Joined: 22 Mar 2009

It's six and two threes. The Principal wants to see NETS at dinners because it shows they're toeing the line and fitting in with Korean culture but the KET in charge of the NET doesn't want them there as they're forced to translate all evening and show everyone else how low their English level is.

PigeonFart · Joined: 27 Apr 2006

I can't believe anyone here would advise him to go to the dinner and not show up at the AIRPORT for his loved one! Unbelievable.

PatrickGHBusan · Posted: Wed Mar 14, 2012 3:28 am Post subject: