Korean Job Discussion Forums

[HawkesBayBoy]

Before I start let me say that I came to Korea last May from New Zealand to work for a private school with strong ties to N.Z.
I am a fully licensed elementary teacher with a Bachelor of Education and 5 years experience. I also have a Post Grad diploma in Education and professional development and Grad Cert in teaching English as an additional language.
I had a class of 15 7yo students (a class size record for my school, mainly from other classes� students� parents requesting their children be moved to my class)
In the 8 months I spent teaching this class not one student left.
After graduation in March, 12 of those 15 students returned to take afternoon ESL classes at our school. (Another % record)

Now��Yesterday (Thursday) the director came to me and said a very serious complaint had been laid against me by a new student... that I had physically abused him in class(on the Monday) and that the police may have to get involved.
Of course I knew no such episode had ever taken place but was naturally very concerned.
When trying to find out the details it was suggested to me that the complaint was in the area of�. I had hit the child in the head with a book for talking.
I started to think to myself �gez maybe I did� sometimes I do give the boys playful taps but never anything that could ever be called abuse.

Today� (Friday)
I was informed the father had requested a meeting with me and the bosses to demand to find out what had happened and watch the CCTV footage etc. before involving police etc
Fair enough of course...

Now the bosses sent memo�s to everyone today giving strict instruction on physical abuse and touching and all that. Now every knew about this allegation so it made me feel like crap even though I pled innocence from the start.
Meeting was scheduled for 6pm and the boss came and talked to me before saying that I have to say sorry and give a formal apology to the student and father and blab la. I�m still thinking I�m sure I didn�t touch this kid but all the crap was putting the seed in my head that maybe I did something?
Then 2 Korean staff members came and pleaded with me to say sorry at the meeting and by now I�m like �bloody hell�

Meeting starts�cctv footage is ready to play�we sit down...no introductions nothing�.they play the footage���������.nothing happened at all except at one stage I touched the boys shoulder to get his attention. And I mean just touched.
Talking in Korean for 10mins��and then I�m told to apologize to the boy for touching him.
I looked at this boy (all names changed) and I said �I�m sorry John��then he said to me �Luke is a naughty boy. I said �I know john and I know you are a good boy but you can�t say to father that teacher hits you. That�s very wrong. ..Then he starts to well up a bit and said �I�m sorry� and I say that�s ok.
So the Koreans talk for another 10mins I pick up bits and pieces�john was basically saying that Luke was mean to him and making class not fun. So I think it�s all sorted and I�m expecting an apology but wait�. the father starts saying that �that�s only what his son thinks is making him unhappy and that he is actually unhappy because he is scared of me hitting him and also he is worried that whenever john has contact with foreigners now he will be afraid.
Bemused I said �john are you afraid of me hitting you� he just smiled and said no.
So I�m sort of just dazed that this kid admits he�s lied about why he didn�t want to come to class and the meeting still going. So I sit for another 10mins listening to Korean talking and then I get asked why do I feel it�s ok to touch a student. Getting a tad frustrated at this guy�s ignorance I said �it will never happen again I promise and I�m sorry� �.you knows just trying to play this ridiculous game to get out of there.
Then more talking in Korean for 10mins then I was told the kid was going to apologize to me�so he said sorry and I said that�s ok I will talk to Luke and I wish you came and told me you were so unhappy.
Then I was told I had to say sorry again to the kid and his dad��so I bit my lip and did�I had been there for near 50mins. Then everyone stood up and I left.

Not once did the father look at me but he had the body language of an offended King the whole time and I was a slave needing to beg for my life

Now in saying all that this is what has really annoyed me��..
All the Korean management and the directors would have seen that CCTV footage at least 2 days ago and knew that I had done nothing at all.
They let me think that I must of done something�.used this as an example to reinforce there is no corporal punishment�..making everyone have doubt in me��I was told multiple times that I had to formally apologize to this guy.

This makes me sick

If someone in management had just come up and said to me �hey we know it�s all B.S, the kids made it up, we�ve seen the footage you got nothing to worry about but hey this is Korea the dad�s on his high horse can you please just say sorry so we can keep this customer�� if someone has done that I would�ve been like �yeah no prob�

then on my wat home I got sent a txt saying �thank you , you are a kind man, I hope you�re not hurt� � from one of the Korean management.

2 days I spent doubting myself, when they knew the whole time I was innocent. � It�s just not cool

[Tigerstyleone]

Saving Face
Lying
and Korean Culture.

Don't you love Korean Culture? Isn't this why you came here, for the culture?

[Troglodyte]

Here's an interesting thread about a news article concerning an ALLEGED pedophile. It's interesting because the news article suggests that the guy is guilty, so almost everyone who reads it automatically presume it so.

http://forums.eslcafe.com/korea/viewtopic.php?t=218742

Had there been no CCTV in your classroom, or if the kid had been a bit more creative and claimed that you hit him in another area that's not being recorded, or if (God forbid) he'd accused you of molesting him... I think that you can see how the situation would have ended. Even in your case you did nothing wrong and the CCTV video clearly showed your innocence but instead of accepting it, the father and the staff instead found something else wrong - why did you even touch the kid? YOU were falsely accused and treated like your guilt was already established. Even after the father saw that you were innocent, he still didn't apologize to you. He wasn't going to accept that his kid did something wrong.

If I had been in your situation, I would never have apologized. Not on principle or because I'm a jerk but for the same reason that public figures never apologize. If you apologize then you are in fact admitting that you did something wrong. That CAN and has been used against people in the past. It's sad that in today's world a polite gesture can be used against you, but that's the situation. Technically speaking, in order to apologize for something, you have to acknowledge that it happened.

If you ever have to give an apology, especially if it's in writing (which you shouldn't do unless your own lawyer advises it) is to say something to the effect of "It is unfortunate that John felt unhappy with his treatment by Luke and that he considered the pat on the shoulder to be inappropriate. My sincerest sympathy goes out to him. I will do my best to avoid another unfortunately misunderstanding like this from happening again." Either that or just say "I'm sorry John" full stop. You didn't do anything wrong. Don't apologize for something specific. Just "I'm sorry." That way if later your apology is used against you, it's still possible to say that you don't acknowledge hitting him or touching him in an inappropriate way.

[escarole]

I learned the hard way about the tapping on the head with the book...

The slap-happy ddong-chimming students seemed to enjoy the fun of it until there was one who didn't, and decided to write a letter, with the inclusion of some choice vocabulary at the behest of the director, who already had it in for me and used the letter to try to get me banned from working in SK, permanently.

Careful...

[Who's Your Daddy?]

Saying sorry to them admits you are at fault. You shouldn't have apologized. And don't accept it's Korean culture for mgmt throwing you under a bus, that's BS too, I've worked in hogwons (yes hogwons) that stood up for me.

[HawkesBayBoy]

you're right I shouldn't have said sorry. But going in to the meeting with the words 'please say sorry' ringing away i caved. also the 50 min 90% in korean meeting had me looking at the clock. Back home it would've been a different story, thats for sure.

[Troglodyte]

[Troglodyte]

[HawkesBayBoy]

I have a new job lined up already. I have 7 weeks left with current lot and no chance in hell i'd resign. They can go ____ themselves. They lost a good teacher.

[Tigerstyleone]

Man, I am really sorry this happened to you, but I wonder with all your experience and qualifications, why are you even teaching in Korea?
Is it because you love Korean Culture?

Lying,
Saving Face
Blaming the foreign teacher
Using the foreign teacher excuse to quit school ?

I've also had this same experience. I looked at a kid the wrong way, and he told his mother I hit him and called him a stupid jerk (as if he could actually understand those words in the first place.)

I asked the director to question the other students. Ask them what they saw, did I hit? They didn't because the mother came to school and shouted at the director and he lost face. He let me go to save his face even though I did nothing wrong.
I think it was the hagwon's fault for not promoting him and keeping him with his usual class. Instead he had to repeat the same course with a new class younger than him and he lashed out using me, the foreigner as an excuse.

Lying
Saving Face and the wonderful Korean Culture people rave about.

[HawkesBayBoy]

Even the highly quailifed like a change of scenery

[mariadhernan]

Sorry to hear that...it happens here in the states too and we dont have cctv. I suggest you take up korean heavy, I am and plan on mastering it hard core so I can stick up for my self in many situations. Good luck with the next job.

[Troglodyte]

[Tigerstyleone]

[Julius]

Some of the parents are insecure xenephobes and their attitudes are gleaned from watching one-sided anti-foreign documentaries.

If you can sense a student seriously dislikes you, and that the situation is tense...then..do NOT GO NEAR THEM.

Don't even brush against them as you walk past their chair. Kids know how to play the system. Do not give them any reason whatsoever to accuse you. This is how ridiculous the situation has gotten for teachers now.

Rather.. be sure to start recording their negative behaviour. The way they walk in late, slouch, swear, bully other kids, etc. You may need it as ammunition.