Korean Job Discussion Forums

[warmachinenkorea]

Tuesday night, it was nice outside so my wife and I had our windows open enjoying the weather. My wife was reading, I was goofing off on the computer about 9 pm. We live in Villa jungle(this is what we call it) where the only space between some villas is a parking space, some of them can almost be touched from the window of an adjacent building.

We heard a kid cry. This is not uncommon. We have tons of kids in our neighborhood and sometimes they cry. But this cry was real loud and there was no adult voice accompanying the cry. This cry lasted for about 15 mins before my wife became worried. She thought maybe the kid's parents had had a heart attack, or stroke and the kid had wandered outside and couldn't get back in. (my wife discovered her mother face down in a pool of blood from a burst aneurysm, my wife was 5)

I threw on some shoes to see what was going on. We live on the ground floor and the sound is kinda muffled. So we walked up a floor on a our villa and looked and listened out the window. Just so happened we see the little boy in the 2nd floor hall window next door. He sees us and tries to open the screen. His head barely reached the bottom of the window. He starts to climb. We fear he is gonna fall out of the window so we rush over next door. About the same time we walk in so does a curious adjuma from another villa. We both go up together and there is the kid red faced, snot, and tears everywhere. He isn't surprised by me at all. The old lady asks him, "What's wrong?" and "Where do you live?" The kid is 2-3 yrs old. He answers and we're standing right in front of his door. I knock a few times and get no answer. The kid is trying to get the woman to pick him up. Finally a man comes to the door. He yells at us. What? I don't know. I don't understand angry, Gyeongbuk dialect, Korean very well. The kid tries to go inside and the guy kicks the kid in the chest. Thsi sends the kid into a fit. He's not hurt physically but you can tell he knew he was jsut rejected. The man looks at the kid and yells something, he looks at he lady and yells, something, and just looks at me and slams the door.

It's safe to say I get pretty upset but keep calm. I knock on the door really hard this time. He comes back to the door after 30 secs. or so and opens it and starts yelling again. I asked him if it was his son, of course it was. He tried to shut the door again but I wouldn't let him. He bucked up to me a little but I'm a big dude at 6'3 290 lbs so i don't back off much when pushed. He kept trying to shut the door but I held it. He then throws up his hands and walks into the bedroom slams the door and doesn't come out. The kid then sees the doors open so he walks in. Another neighbor, from a different building, comes over. This guy is Korean and has a lot of homemade tattoos and looks pretty rough. He bring s the kid some ice cream and cookies. The kid is calm now. By this time there are 3 Korean ladies a Korean man, my wife and I all in the hall. The consensus is call the cops. We do and they came about 10 mins later. Everyone left and went on their way. I have no idea what a toddler could have done to be tossed out like that.

What would you have done?

[mayorgc]

Reminds me when I was 10. Visited China. Was a a park and saw a middle aged man walking in a huff. trailing 20 or so feet behind him were 2 kids (boys i think). Kids were crying out to dad (?). Dad turns around a hurls his flip flops at the kids.

I'm pretty sure the daddy was trying to abandon the kids.

Regarding your situation. didn't your wife translate to you what was going on?

[Mix1]

Seems like you did the right thing...hard to say what I'd do if I saw a guy kick a small kid in the chest. I wouldn't think much of him that's for sure.

Although, if you weren't 290 his reaction to the challenge might have been slightly different. But hey, use your size to your advantage, it can definitely shape the outcome.

It's funny how the 'father' reacted: I'm tough! Uh er wait...he's not backing down. Ahh, I'm not tough...see ya.

But I'd guess this won't be the last time you'll see the kid crying.

[warmachinenkorea]

[warmachinenkorea]

[fermentation]

My dad did this to me when I was a kid as punishment. Only he threatened me with a 10 foot bamboo pole that I picked up. I yelled at my mom and he said no son of mine disrespects his parents so he whacked me a few times with the pole and told me to get out of the house and never come back. Being a kid, I really thought I was now an orphan and wandered around the neighborhood before eventually coming back home and waiting until they let me in. My mom eventually let me in because it was raining. I was 7 at the time I think.

It still sucks to think about it but apparently it's not that uncommon with Koreans. I've told this to a Korean girl and she said, "Get over it. It happened to me too and it happens to a lot of Koreans." So yeah. I don't hold it against my dad, but sometimes I wonder what he would've done if I really left for good. My guess is that this guy was trying to punish his kid in a really irrational way.

[warmachinenkorea]

[The Sultan of Seoul]

[warmachinenkorea]

[Nismo]

As the father of two children, I think it's hard to tell (and be told by) someone how to be a "good" parent. But I still think he sounds like an immature arse who needs to pick up a parenting-101 book. A toddler has a strong sense of egocentrism, and they are not cognitively mature enough to reason out that their actions are affecting other people. And if you aren't overstating the time, 15 minutes is way too long to apply that sort of psychologically damaging punishment. It's good to hear that there were so many concerned Koreans, though. I'm tired of people turning a blind-eye to these sorts of extreme domestic situations.

[warmachinenkorea]

[fermentation]

[luckylady]

glad you got involved OP - I'm like you and would not hesitate to see what the situation was about - glad to hear the neighbors came around as well and calling the cops on him was especially great!

hopefully, he'll think twice about doing some stupid sh*t like that again - at the very least, I'd make sure he sees you from time to time so he knows you're watching out for the little one - who knows and will always remember, someone somewhere, stood up for him. kids never forget that, ever.

way to go!

[comm]

[Steelrails]

To do it to a 6-10 year old is one thing. At that age kids start to know what is deliberately malicious and mean. And having them stand outside for 15 minutes because they refuse to do the dishes might be a good moment to think. A 2-3 year old is just whack. You don't have to be all super-hero lecturing, but definitely bang on the dudes door and tell him to take the darned kid inside at the very least so he shuts up.

On the other hand maybe the guy knows his own temper and had the kid stand outside rather than beat him. An awful moral decision vs. a wretched one. Either way, guy needs to chill and not be a deadbeat dad.