Korean Job Discussion Forums

The Great Wall of Whiner · Joined: 24 Jan 2003 Location: Middle Land

Back at home, did you have a doctor friend who was 47 years old? How about a television producer friend who was 66 years old? 18 year-old actor friend? News anchor friend? Politician friend? Singer friend? CEO of a corporation friend?

I would guess for most of you, the answer would be no.

Well, guess what?

Here in the city I live in, there is a group of Koreans that regulary hang out with the foreigner community. These aren't your "average" Koreans. They are pretty well-to-do.

So I kind of put two and two together and figured out that these clowns are not interested in having friends! What they are interested in is free conversational English practice!

Most of the foreigner community here have only been in Korea 0-2 years, so I kind of suppose most are blind to it.

But when I hang out with this motley crue of individuals (20 or so Uni. grads ages 21-25 [all white], and a half-dozen middle-aged professionals[all Korean men]) I feel something is very very wrong with this picture.

I know as a FACT that in Korea, middle-aged and senior aged men do not as a general rule socialize with 20ish year olds (unless they're foreigners I suppose!) .

And, although I can hold a conversation in Korean, they NEVER speak to me in Korean. When I do start speaking Korean, they VERY quickly lose interest in talking to me and start talking to the "newbies" who have only been here 0-6 months.

And the WORST part is, half of these kids are BLIND to it! All they see are endless jugs of free draft beer.

Has anyone else noticed this phenomenon(oneomon??)?

Cthulhu · Joined: 02 Feb 2003

On the other hand · Joined: 19 Apr 2003 Location: I walk along the avenue

When I was in my early twenties, I had friends who were early 40s, but admittedly most of them weren't high-powered professionals. Actually, most of them were mature students at the college I was attending.

But I dunno, the old guys like speaking English, you like drinking the free beer, whats the harm? I've had a few friendships over here that probably fall more-or-less into that category, but that's fine. I talk with them, they pick up the tab(dinner, not booze), some of them have interesting jobs, so I can learn a bit about that stuff. But, yeah, I don't like doing that sort of thing every day, once a week tops. Everything in moderation.

Actually, most of them don't even ask me to correct their English. One in particular seems more interested in learning about my homeland than my language. I wonder if its also possible that they just like being able to hang out on a casual basis with younger people, seeing how that opportunity is likely denied them by the strictures of a Confucian society. No big deal, either way.

sid · Joined: 02 Feb 2003 Location: Berkshire, England

I think being a newbie gives you license to hang out with anyone and everyone, and accept every offer of food and drink going. Then you can start to be more discerning once you know what's what.

crazylemongirl · Joined: 23 Mar 2003 Location: almost there...

Hmm back home I hung out with some weird people. A 40 year old drug dealer (despite not doing drugs myself) a 50 year old homeless man, a 40 year old leather man. All the people I hang out with in korea are 20 something and educated. I miss hanging out with freaks sometimes.

CLG

kimcheeking · Guest

Tiger Beer · Joined: 07 Feb 2003

Thats a weird town you live in.

When I was a newbie in Korea, I was so sick and tired of speaking in broken English to Koreans in the classroom all day long, that I almost refused to do it at all particularly in any kind of social session. That stuff just exhausted me RIGHT from DAY 1 in this country.

Ya-ta Boy · Joined: 16 Jan 2003 Location: Established in 1994

Many Koreans like to escape the rigid strictures of their society by spending time with foreigners. It's possible to find friends among that segment.

I would venture to say that all relationships here start out on the basis of free language lessons (except for the relatively few Koreans who are already fluent), but it is possible for some of those relationships to mature into real friendships.

I'm quite suspicious of foreigners who say they never pay for dinner and drinks. I wonder who is being used.

Zyzyfer · Posted: Wed Aug 20, 2003 3:51 pm Post subject:

?!? I got more than a few old people friends back home in the states. Old people aren't old; they're wise. They've got a million stories to share, all that good stuff. And my whole 2 Korean pals definitely don't hang out with me for English practice, though 1 of them met me at first for that.

What's wrong with free beer for teaching throughout the night, though? If people wanna go that route, I have 0% problem with it.

On the other hand · Joined: 19 Apr 2003 Location: I walk along the avenue

Butterfly · Joined: 02 Mar 2003 Location: Kuwait

The Great Wall of Whiner · Joined: 24 Jan 2003 Location: Middle Land

Butterfly, wou've got the curtains drawn and are missing the bigger picture.

For the most part, this never happens in any culture. Most of all in Korea, where everyone has their little place in the ladder of society.

If I was Korean, would a middle-aged Korean doctor or a semi-popular middle-aged news anchor want to hang out with me being in my 20's EVERY weekend and buy my beer? I doubt it.

Sure, back home I have a 77 year-old friend. She's awesome! But these kinds of relationships are rare.

Imagine back at home, sitting in a pub, and there are about 20-30 korean exchange students with a western doctor, lawyer, several business owners, etc. and they are all speaking broken Korean.

Do you think for one minute these men want to hang out with these 20 year-old exchange students for any other reason other than learning Korean?

Open your eyes....

ThreeDogNight · Joined: 30 May 2003 Location: Seoul

Oh give them a break, man! It's good to see some Koreans coming out of their shell "to say the least" and that the older generation!

You should be proud, or at least glad to make such acquaintances. They might just help you out someday! Besides, this possibly reflects the new change in some Koreans' attitudes about the gender gap: they could possibly not associate with other young blood in their own closed culture, and this gives them some freedom.

But to answer your question, "Yes, I have hung out with 50 or even 60 year old people." One guy that studied at my institute was a 75 year old retired seaman. I see other foreigners dining out with retirees and what not. Why? Probably because these Koreans are lonely, bored, a little open-minded, and heck yes, taking an opportunity to use their English. But so what. Give them a break.

Butterfly · Joined: 02 Mar 2003 Location: Kuwait

weatherman · Joined: 14 Jan 2003 Location: Korea

You said it well. The men only want to use you for English and as accessory in fashion. I mean if they would pony up and take you out to a room solon, then it might be fun, but trying to act cool and offering you tasteless drafts is belittling to you and to them also, but they don't quite get that fact. You have to be really selective about the older male friends you keep. They can help you out a lot in Korea, but stay away from the pure user, the Korean borg.