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forster.joe
Joined: 15 Aug 2011
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 Posted: Fri Mar 02, 2012 11:27 am Post subject: Can Girlfriend Stay With Me? |
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Hi guys,
I'm seriously considering coming over to Korea in September-October time as a newbie. I am in a relationship and my girlfriend very much would like to come over.
However, the job is simply not for her and she would prefer to come over as a tourist. I believe she (as a UK citizen) can do so for a period of 3 months.
My question is this: would schools be happy with her staying with me for an extended amount of time? I know each school is probably different but any anecdotal info would be much appreciated.
I also know how small the apartments are but we survived together in Uni halls for a full year so I'm sure we'd be able to manage on that front.
As always, any help would be much appreciated.
Cheers! |
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andrewchon
Joined: 16 Nov 2008
Location: Back in Oz. Living in ISIS Aust.
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| Posted: Fri Mar 02, 2012 1:20 pm Post subject: |
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| Yes she can stay with you. |
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forster.joe
Joined: 15 Aug 2011
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| Posted: Fri Mar 02, 2012 1:34 pm Post subject: |
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| Lol I wasn't expecting it to be that easy. Excellent. |
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PatrickGHBusan
Joined: 24 Jun 2008
Location: Busan (1997-2008) Canada 2008 -
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| Posted: Fri Mar 02, 2012 2:25 pm Post subject: |
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| Just tell your employer you wish to share the school provided appartment with your spouse. Better they find out beforehand from you than some other way. |
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sbp59
Joined: 01 Apr 2009
Location: Somewhere in SK
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| Posted: Fri Mar 02, 2012 2:40 pm Post subject: |
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| PatrickGHBusan wrote: |
| Just tell your employer you wish to share the school provided appartment with your spouse. Better they find out beforehand from you than some other way. |
Good point... calling her spouse is a great idea... they aren't going to ask for a marriage certificate or anything.... if you call her G/F they might ask questions but never with spouse or wife. |
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PatrickGHBusan
Joined: 24 Jun 2008
Location: Busan (1997-2008) Canada 2008 -
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| Posted: Fri Mar 02, 2012 2:47 pm Post subject: |
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| sbp59 wrote: |
| PatrickGHBusan wrote: |
| Just tell your employer you wish to share the school provided appartment with your spouse. Better they find out beforehand from you than some other way. |
Good point... calling her spouse is a great idea... they aren't going to ask for a marriage certificate or anything.... if you call her G/F they might ask questions but never with spouse or wife. |
Precisely.
They will not object (most likely) to your spouse living with you. They might object to your gf living with you.
Good luck  |
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modernseoul
Joined: 11 Sep 2011
Location: Seoul
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| Posted: Fri Mar 02, 2012 3:31 pm Post subject: |
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| PatrickGHBusan wrote: |
| sbp59 wrote: |
| PatrickGHBusan wrote: |
| Just tell your employer you wish to share the school provided appartment with your spouse. Better they find out beforehand from you than some other way. |
Good point... calling her spouse is a great idea... they aren't going to ask for a marriage certificate or anything.... if you call her G/F they might ask questions but never with spouse or wife. |
Precisely.
They will not object (most likely) to your spouse living with you. They might object to your gf living with you.
Good luck |
Agree, as they'll worry that after 3 months she will return to England and you'll want to go with her.
However if the school is unaffected by her presence then they won't be fussed.
Good luck. |
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Zulethe
Joined: 04 Jul 2008
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| Posted: Fri Mar 02, 2012 3:36 pm Post subject: |
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| andrewchon wrote: |
| Yes she can stay with you. |
exuse me!? over-stepping your boundaries a bit brah?
Let me check...
"Zulethe, can Joe's girlfriend stay with him while he's in Corea?"
"Yes she can."
"thank you." |
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jrwhite82
Joined: 22 May 2010
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| Posted: Fri Mar 02, 2012 4:09 pm Post subject: |
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I think the best course of action would be to come over by yourself for a couple of weeks to get settled in and learn the area and your way around. Then she can fly over whenever she wants to join you.
Not that they have any right, but your school might be concerned if you show up at the airport with another person they are not aware of. Or it might be a deal breaker because they don't want to feel responsible for a 2nd person (even though they wouldn't be). Third, they might bring you to immigration together so you can apply for her spousal visa. That would be awkward.
If you take some time to get yourself settled in it would make things easier so there is no lying to your bosses, you'll be more comfortable, and your girlfriend will have a helpful guide for her when she gets here.
When do you plan on coming? If possible, have her come over during your summer vacation. That way you'll have some time off from work to hang out and travel around the country/Asia. |
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nathanrutledge
Joined: 01 May 2008
Location: Marakesh
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| Posted: Fri Mar 02, 2012 9:17 pm Post subject: |
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| jrwhite82 wrote: |
I think the best course of action would be to come over by yourself for a couple of weeks to get settled in and learn the area and your way around. Then she can fly over whenever she wants to join you.
Not that they have any right, but your school might be concerned if you show up at the airport with another person they are not aware of. Or it might be a deal breaker because they don't want to feel responsible for a 2nd person (even though they wouldn't be). Third, they might bring you to immigration together so you can apply for her spousal visa. That would be awkward.
If you take some time to get yourself settled in it would make things easier so there is no lying to your bosses, you'll be more comfortable, and your girlfriend will have a helpful guide for her when she gets here.
When do you plan on coming? If possible, have her come over during your summer vacation. That way you'll have some time off from work to hang out and travel around the country/Asia. |
This.
Don't tell the school. You're living in an apartment on your own. Sure, they pay for it, but they aren't your parents - what you do there is your business.
If you tell them she's a spouse, they might want to help get the proper visa for her, or they might just say they don't want you. Either situation you don't want.
I definitely wouldn't come over at the same time. Come here first, get settled, figure out the lay of the land, THEN have her come over.
Bottom line - the school doesn't need to know, so don't tell them. |
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lemak
Joined: 02 Jan 2011
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| Posted: Fri Mar 02, 2012 9:36 pm Post subject: |
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They won't care. I have, and know many foreigners who lived with their GFs.
Don't ask, don't tell is probably the best policy. If anyone does ask just tell them you have a friend visiting on vacation. Some of the more xenophobe bosses will be happy she's keeping you away form the local girls.
I always thought some of these bosses are stupid in their thinking...
"Can I bring my wife?"
"No"
"You know she'll keep me stable, off the piss, away from the RLDs, stop me fighting, make sure I don't stink, can sub for any other teachers that are sick etc..."
"Oh!~ No! ^^"
Just bring her. Likely no one will ask or even know, and if they do they'll likely just shrug their shoulders when you tell them your friend is visiting. |
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PatrickGHBusan
Joined: 24 Jun 2008
Location: Busan (1997-2008) Canada 2008 -
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| Posted: Sat Mar 03, 2012 4:18 am Post subject: |
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| nathanrutledge wrote: |
| jrwhite82 wrote: |
I think the best course of action would be to come over by yourself for a couple of weeks to get settled in and learn the area and your way around. Then she can fly over whenever she wants to join you.
Not that they have any right, but your school might be concerned if you show up at the airport with another person they are not aware of. Or it might be a deal breaker because they don't want to feel responsible for a 2nd person (even though they wouldn't be). Third, they might bring you to immigration together so you can apply for her spousal visa. That would be awkward.
If you take some time to get yourself settled in it would make things easier so there is no lying to your bosses, you'll be more comfortable, and your girlfriend will have a helpful guide for her when she gets here.
When do you plan on coming? If possible, have her come over during your summer vacation. That way you'll have some time off from work to hang out and travel around the country/Asia. |
This.
Don't tell the school. You're living in an apartment on your own. Sure, they pay for it, but they aren't your parents - what you do there is your business.
If you tell them she's a spouse, they might want to help get the proper visa for her, or they might just say they don't want you. Either situation you don't want.
I definitely wouldn't come over at the same time. Come here first, get settled, figure out the lay of the land, THEN have her come over.
Bottom line - the school doesn't need to know, so don't tell them. |
That can be very dangerous advice depending on how the school manages the appartments they provide for the teachers. There could be occupancy issues on the lease (ie the lease between school and landlord says 1 occupant not 2), there could be insurance issues related to occupancy and finally the school IS providing the appartment IT IS not OURS. It is an employment benefit. If you want proof the appartment is not ours, look what happens when employment is terminated: we need to move out.
The OP could circumvent all this and ask for a no-housing contract, take the provide housing allowance, find his own place and then would not have to tell enyone save perhaps the landlord, that his girlfriend lives there.
Anyway, it is up to you OP and not telling the school certainly is an option. I just think doing that sets you up for a potentially bad situation if the school finds out by accident.....but up to you.
I rent appartments in Canada and the rental agreement clearly states how many occupants are allowed to live there. Thats for people who pay for their appartment and have a one year lease, not for sponsored workers who get work provided accomodations!
My first housing agreement in Korea had an occupancy clause and the names of the people who would live in the appartment for the duration of the agreement. That of course could be amended and things may have changed since then. |
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forster.joe
Joined: 15 Aug 2011
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| Posted: Sat Mar 03, 2012 8:03 am Post subject: |
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Yes, she won't be arriving with me. I'm coming over in Sep-Oct and she'll be heading over just before / after Christmas. I'm glad that nobody seems to think it is an absolute no-no. Wait and see I guess. The problem is, as with asking for anything, if I do ask and they say 'NO!' then I'm stuffed.
If I do decide to disclose then that 'spouse rather than girlfriend' piece of advice seems like a good one.
Thanks again! |
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nathanrutledge
Joined: 01 May 2008
Location: Marakesh
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| Posted: Sat Mar 03, 2012 3:42 pm Post subject: |
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Patrick does bring up a valid point.
My point is simply that your school is not your mother/keeper/overlord. I personally wouldn't tell my school because it's not their business. My work life and private life are separate and never the two shall meet.
As far as what Patrick says, when I had an apartment in the States, it did say something about how many people could live there. But it also had a clause about guests, so... really depends on the place.
SInce you're coming over first, to cover your bases, I'd simply tell the school before she comes that you're having a friend come and stay with you for a bit on a visit - don't make a point of telling them; simply bring it up in conversation with your coworker/boss. If it's a major problem, they'll say something, but odds are they won't and it'll be no problem.
PS - the whole spouse thing. If you wait and then say "oh yeah, I'm married and my wife is coming to visit," that would throw up some red flags, at least in my book. If you say something about it now, that'd be better, but still, it seems like a dangerous minefield to me. |
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jrwhite82
Joined: 22 May 2010
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| Posted: Sat Mar 03, 2012 4:18 pm Post subject: |
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| PatrickGHBusan wrote: |
| nathanrutledge wrote: |
| jrwhite82 wrote: |
I think the best course of action would be to come over by yourself for a couple of weeks to get settled in and learn the area and your way around. Then she can fly over whenever she wants to join you.
Not that they have any right, but your school might be concerned if you show up at the airport with another person they are not aware of. Or it might be a deal breaker because they don't want to feel responsible for a 2nd person (even though they wouldn't be). Third, they might bring you to immigration together so you can apply for her spousal visa. That would be awkward.
If you take some time to get yourself settled in it would make things easier so there is no lying to your bosses, you'll be more comfortable, and your girlfriend will have a helpful guide for her when she gets here.
When do you plan on coming? If possible, have her come over during your summer vacation. That way you'll have some time off from work to hang out and travel around the country/Asia. |
This.
Don't tell the school. You're living in an apartment on your own. Sure, they pay for it, but they aren't your parents - what you do there is your business.
If you tell them she's a spouse, they might want to help get the proper visa for her, or they might just say they don't want you. Either situation you don't want.
I definitely wouldn't come over at the same time. Come here first, get settled, figure out the lay of the land, THEN have her come over.
Bottom line - the school doesn't need to know, so don't tell them. |
That can be very dangerous advice depending on how the school manages the appartments they provide for the teachers. There could be occupancy issues on the lease (ie the lease between school and landlord says 1 occupant not 2), there could be insurance issues related to occupancy and finally the school IS providing the appartment IT IS not OURS. It is an employment benefit. If you want proof the appartment is not ours, look what happens when employment is terminated: we need to move out.
The OP could circumvent all this and ask for a no-housing contract, take the provide housing allowance, find his own place and then would not have to tell enyone save perhaps the landlord, that his girlfriend lives there.
Anyway, it is up to you OP and not telling the school certainly is an option. I just think doing that sets you up for a potentially bad situation if the school finds out by accident.....but up to you.
I rent appartments in Canada and the rental agreement clearly states how many occupants are allowed to live there. Thats for people who pay for their appartment and have a one year lease, not for sponsored workers who get work provided accomodations!
My first housing agreement in Korea had an occupancy clause and the names of the people who would live in the appartment for the duration of the agreement. That of course could be amended and things may have changed since then. |
Patrick, surely having a guest stay with you for a few weeks does not constitute them as being a permanent occupant in the apartment. As the OP said previously, his GF is not staying here permanently, so by your own experience, they wouldn't need to be listed on the lease because they aren't here for the "duration of the argeement".
OP, just to clarify does your girlfriend plan on staying for 3 months and returning to the UK or leaving and reentering Korea every time her visa will expire and staying with you for the duration of your contract as a tourist?
I think going the spouse route is a bad idea. Your boss or older coworkers will surely ask you if you have a girlfriend (plus a bunch of other personal questions that might make you a bit uncomfortable...but don't be, it's a different culture). When it pops up, tell them yes and she is coming to visit in a few weeks. I don't see why this would be a problem for anyone. You are an adult, no need to lie about your relationship status. Just don't plan on her staying for an entire year, and make sure her visa is correct. You're not working at some ultra-Christian academy or something are you?
You'll probably wind up breaking up with her once you get here and see all the beautiful women everywhere anyway.
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