Korean Job Discussion Forums

[Julius]

Just thought this was a good article to share.

[pegasus64128]

[fermentation]

I'd say the article on point. Friendships aren't as important or sacred as in western cultures. A "friend" is someone who happens to be the same age as you. Even if your friend is older than you, he's still your 형 even if you're really close. He's never your friend. Sometimes koreans use the word friend as if its a bad thing to be one. Like if you're disrespectful to someone higher on the hierarchy, they'll say something like, "You think I'm your friend or something?" As if being a friend means you're disrespectful.

When Koreans meet the first thing they ask is eachothers' age. Not their name. It's to determine the hierarchy because it's too awkward to socialize without knowing who's above who. It's the human equivalent of dogs sniffing eachothers' butts. I've met people who would treat you respect then scoff at you the moment they find out you're a year or two younger than them. As if a 23 year old is really any more mature than a 22 year old. Of course in highschools, being 1 year older meant you can punch another kid with impunity.

This age concept can cause some confusion among Koreans who watch American movies where two characters of obvious age difference refer eachother as friends. I mean, how can two people of different ages be friends?

This obsession with age is one of the things I'm not crazy about in Korea. The interesting is that with many Koreans I've observed, this age thing doesn't always apply to Korean - foreigner relationships.

That being said, there are instances of true friendship regardless of age. Fortunately there are Koreans who are comfortable enough to cross that boundary.

[Squire]

The friend thing interests me too. Is it the same in China? I told my younger co-teacher that despite us being a year apart in Korean age we'd have been in the same year group at school together in the UK. She seemed pleased and said 'We can be friends then!', but I'm not sure she wasn't joking. She isn't one of those Koreans that seems able to transcend cultural boundaries and view Korean culture as one of many ways of life. Rather, she is more inclined to view Korean culture as a set of strict rules that apply to her, while 'foreign' culture generally applies to every non Korean collectively. To a lesser extent my closest friends at home share the same outlook

I know other Koreans that can see their own culture from the perspective of an outsider. I have no interest in changing anybody's outlook, but I'm often fascinated to find out how different Koreans regard this sort of cultural difference

[rabidcake]

I do sometimes wonder how people can be asking these type of questions. People are people everywhere, you can become friends with anyone in this world (and yes that includes Koreans).

But I digress, continue with the negative experiences and generalizations about how the society is against friends.

[joelove]

Yeah, the age thing seems weird to most foreigners I guess. I don't think it's as strict in China, not really sure, never really talked about it with anyone here. We've got students with 2 or even 3 years difference in age in the same classes here, and it doesn't seem like an issue. In Korea if one student was a bit older he or she was listened to or even deferred to often enough, like nobody would contest their opinion. I recall asking a girl where her friend/classmate was, and she insisted they weren't friends, as if that was a ridiculous idea. The classmate was a grade higher. She showed up a bit late, and they talked this over a bit, mentioning how strange American are something. A Korean guy in bar found out I was a bit older than, less than a year even, and started acting a bit different, pouring beer with 2 hands and so on. Used to hang out with an American guy a lot older than me. I guess we got some stranger than usual looks.

[sojusucks]

A Korean friend expects you to always be available for them.

[Julius]

[pegasus64128]

There are some genuine Korean people that can be your friend, I assure you, but mostly they come across as cruel racists that just want to annoy you by presenting their friends and beautiful girlfriends (that you would often be heckled for being with. It happens) or talking down to you like you're a sub-citizen (which you are in their eyes). It's a strange country where you can be told you're handsome or even chic one minute, and treated like 보신탕 the next. The women here are easily as racist as the men,some of them. I was even called a 눈 n****r one time. It feels like you're their plaything sometimes here, their property.

[Pa Jan Jo A Hamnida]

[jfromtheway]

[asdfghjkl]

I'm a 25 year old white guy, and most of the Korean friends I've made have been ajeosshis, unmarried women in their thirties, and guys my age. I'm really close with a Korean guy who is my age, and he's definitely one of the best friends I have.

I am okay at Korean, which has definitely helped me make friends. When I was starting out, I didn't like a lot of my Korean friends because they were mainly the type who seek out superficial friendships with foreigners and were usually way more outgoing and extroverted than I am. Once I progressed with learning the language though, it became easier to meet people with similar personalities, and it wasn't as boring to hang out with people who don't speak English.

A lot of my friends and people on here deride ajeosshis, which I understand because I've been heckled by plenty of drunk ones, but I've had so many good times hanging out with kindly old men. It's obvious that sometimes dudes just want to practice their English and maybe see foreigners as sort of a novelty, but they can still be nice people if you look past this and get to know them. My friend and I went out to Donghae one weekend in September on a whim, and some ajosshi sailor we met outside of a family mart took us fishing and hit the sauce with us all night long; that has been one of my most memorable experiences in Korea, moreso than the drunk guy who put out his cigarette in my food on my birthday.

[warmachinenkorea]

[shostahoosier]

[highstreet]

All my Korean friends are just like my friends back home. Just laid back people to chill with. Korean friends just seem busier with work. Other than that, seems about the same. We speak both Korean and English, they never ask me to help them with English. Most of them actually offer to teach me more Korean, cause they say my Korean is terrible after three years.