Korean Job Discussion Forums

[jajdude]

I must say I would like to be more outgoing though I seem to feel great disinclination towards that.

Are you much of a person who can just strike up chats with people anywhere? Maybe if your Korean is poor and the others' English is poor it could be hard. But being clever, maybe you can use that to your advantage somehow, and make it a kind of "language practice" chat?

Do you have any particular tactics when you'd like to chat to a stranger and make a new acquaintance?

I'm just bringing this up now about an hour after wanting to say something to this girl somewhere (on a bus in this case) but felt inhibited and worried about likely language barrier. I was even thinking out the Korean in my head. I can seem to think in Korean at not such a bad basic level, but actually speaking it out isn't so easy. Pronunciation or whatever still gets me. Then again I never even found out if she could speak any English.

Again maybe I'm just whining as I do a good bit of, and seem to lack the nerve to act more assertively. Not so good to complain about things you can either work to change or not. But anyway just felt like venting a little frustration. Actually my day was kind of pleasant and recently I have gotten several new acquaintances' numbers. So companionship may not be too hard to come by this summer - keeping the fingers crossed, mind you.

I still say Seoul is madness!

[Mashimaro]

[jajdude]

Thanks. That's a good point. Confidence is the thing for sure. (Sometimes I even have some )

[optimus d]

i know exactly how you feel OP, except my problem isnt restricted only to koreans but strangers in general. was in itaewon today doing a bit of shopping and figured i could meet some people seeing as theres so many foreigners there. i just found it hard to go up to a stranger and start talking to them without it coming across as contrived. having people come and approach me i have no problem dealing with and actually enjoy, its just when im the approacher is when i start the headgames. maybe its just me....it probably is, but i agree that being confident makes it much easier as it makes for a more freeflowing convo as opposed to random questioning.

[jajdude]

Perhaps, lacking confidence, it is good to be a good actor!

Yeah I like it too whenever someone talks to me out of the blue. Especially babes.... (duh....)

[TECO]

like 'nike' - "Just DO It!"

When you see her there at Starbucks or Burger King and you know she isn't with her boyfriend, say, "Hello - How are you?"

Smile.

You would be surprised how successful you can be.

The law of averages, also.

[jajdude]

Thanks Teco

Seems so easy.

God know the opportunities in this country are amazing because the women are everywhere! It's like University, despite the language deal.

Also most of the Korean females are really nice people. I like them a lot.

Just need to say hello more often!
=========================================
jajdude:

A good guy========== but a bit too quiet for his own good.

[Demophobe]

Well, I don't really strike up too many conversations with Koreans, but I always accost poor foreigners.

Hehe....I don't really accost them, but I do make an effort to speak with foreigners here.

Seems like we have a bad reputation with each other. Most people are fairly guarded when I open up a dialogue, but a nice smile and an obvious good intention quickly disarms them, and it usually ends up being a good thing.

Yeasterday on the inter-city bus, however, was one of the times when I did regret opening my mouth.

I come back to my 'hometown' on the weekends, Chuncheon, and there was a foreign girl and an English-speaking Korean girl in the seat to my back left.

I turned and said "Hi" in a nice tone, with my usual smile, but was greeted with a valley-girl-ish, look of "whoooo are you?!", followed by a slow, rising intonation, look-at-your-friend-because-this-is-weird "hi...?"

Well, I just kept going, trying to ask questions that may facilitate a nice conversation on the 1.5 hour bus ride, but to no avail. The foreign girl kept making me feel like I was kind of bothering her. Remarkably, the Korean/American girl was cordial and seemed quite pleasant.

Anyways, it was a two-minute thing, and then nothing for the whole ride. I guess some people just have enough contacts.

Cut to the chase...jajude....yes, I think it is a confidence thing. Step out and do what you feel. You have nothing to lose, and a possible friend to gain.

The worst is you may feel silly, which was the point of my little story, but in the best situation, you will get an e-mail addy or a phone number, and that, as you know, can be the very thing to make your time here feel well-spent.

Go for it!!

[VanIslander]

TECO said it: Just do it.

[Son Deureo!]

[the_beaver]

Amateurs.

If you want to begin a conversation with someone you don't know you first need eye contact. Eye contact is necessary to let the other person know you're there. And, without eye contact you're apt to startle the other person.

Next is a smile. Not the big shit-eating grin or lecherous wolf thing, but a simple, light, I-don't-think-you're-a-freak smile. Although, sometimes a smile can be substituted be an overall softening of features.

With both of these covered you're ready to in an converse.

[Demophobe]

Ghosts....

[Son Deureo!]

Well, if the avatar's any indication, you're definitely not a sharp dresser.

[PatrickSiheung]

Naw, those are definitely some hip threads

I'd like to add my two cents about confidence.

My first year here I was out with my fellow teachers. We were having dinner at Carnestation... somewhere. Not sure where, it was my first week in Korea =\ Anyway, there was a really pretty waitress there. While waiting for our table we made eye contact and she smiled right away. I knew I was in LOL

After eating for a while, and making a few more eye contact moments happen I just walked up to her and asked if she spoke English. Suddenly all of her friends were giggling and so was she. It would have been easy to run away but she was just shy so I just stood there smiling. She did speak a little English and I just told her that I was new in Korea and would like to talk to her sometime. Then I just passed her a napkin with my email and name on it. Simple.

I'm not sharing this to prove that I have some huge amount of confidence, on the contrary LOL But it's easy to start talking to people if you just take a breath and say "hi." Sometimes it works out pretty well =)

Another time I was at US66 with a friend. He was up dancing and having a good time but I've never been into the bar scene so I was just sitting at a table suffering. Across from me a girl was sitting down and looked like she was pretty tired too so I just asked if she wanted to go outside and get some air. I wasn't even thinking. I just asked. Anyway, she actually said yes and we talked for a bit outside.

Now she was pretty but I really just wanted to get outside so we just talked, but it was pretty easy to get that far. I don't think she thought I was trying to pick her up either. Perhaps if I had tried to make a big thing out of it and seemed shy and nervous, she wouldn't have gone outside with me. Now that I think of it, it was a strange thing to say maybe LOL.

My point? Keep it cool and just talk to people. Imagine they are just like you and may actually enjoy meeting a complete stranger. Most people are pretty cool.

[Eazy_E]

jajdude, I know where you're coming from. I'm shy as well, and I live in a small town with a lack of places to go out and socialize. I've been working on my ability to chat with random strangers but it feels wierd sometimes.

For example, there's a hottie who works in the pharmacy downstairs from my hagwon. I decided to go in to talk with her once. I tried a few questions in Korean, then she said "wait a minute, the boss is coming". The pharmacist arrived and I had to stammer that I wanted some vitamin C.

It felt strange, but I'm glad I did it because every time I try that, it gets easier. Try to make it fun instead of something you're pushing yourself to do. And it's just the law of probabilities that if you try more often, you're going to succeed more often.