Korean Job Discussion Forums

[tangofingers]

Hi all, I am facing a bit of a dilemma and I hope that someone here could give me some useful advice. I'm not able to find much helpful information on teaching extremely difficult ESL kids, plus I face a unique situation in my relationship with this child.

He is a 10 year old boy who I've known for the last 7 months. I taught him English for about 3 months in a classroom of other kids his level on Saturdays at a private institution and I have to admit that I used to dread teaching his class. Nowadays I teach him about once a month on Wednesdays as the last period of the day works on a rotation basis where we engage in creative activities with the kids. I still don't enjoy teaching him, and I know his regular foreigner teachers feel the same and have gone a step further in making complaints to the Korean teachers about his behaviour. A few weeks ago he began wearing a laminated sign around his neck for the attention of the foreigner teachers, on which his mother had printed her apologies for her 'devil boy', followed by her instructions to send him outside the classroom to her where she will be waiting with a 'stick in hand'. Then I suddenly realised that I felt compassion for him and his family; it is my belief that he has special needs which he needs specialist help for. I doubt his mother gets a moment's peace and quiet; I know he goes to a private school although I am not sure how his needs are being met there.

To give you a brief description of him: he is incapable of sitting still for more than a few moments, he consistently shouts above the other students, demands more 'happy coupons' or plus points above all the others, cannot wait his turn, tugs and yanks at my clothes in frustration, takes objects from others which they are playing happily and peacefully with just for the heck of it, gleefully stamps on the toys he's given, is prone to bursting into tears when he doesn't get his way, cannot give me eye contact, sweats profusely, foams at the mouth, and generally delights in causing class uproar. As soon as his mother is mentioned (and this is before the wearing of the sign) he acts like he's been handed a death sentence and will use physical force to avoid being sent out of the classroom. I have wondered in the past whether he is somewhere on the autism spectrum and have tried to find some tips and tricks online for making everyone's life a bit easier for everyone in the classroom, like praising him more often and trying to ignore his bad behaviour (difficult to do when he is physically pulling the classroom and its equipment to bits). It's a little too early to tell if this has had any effect so far.

We don't get any support from the Koreans in the office- the manager and the admin assistant- as they are not teachers themselves and just squeeze his little cheek or berate him in a 'oh you loveable little rogue' style, then send him straight back to the classroom when he's been sent out. I don't want him to go to his mum with a beating and so we all suffer in the classroom as a result of him not having any kind of reprimanding.

Now it turns out that the man at the top of the tree, the whole company's boss, is his father. It makes sense that his parents aren't confronted with his behaviour like all the other kids; I understand how the Korean hierarchy works and I'm sure as his parents they know only too well their child's problems.

I have his met his father before, a very pleasant man with good English, and he knows that I DJ, and has asked me before to teach his son DJing. At the time I didn't know that this boy was his son, and to be honest I wasn't really interested in teaching a Korean child DJing as I spend enough time with children as it is, I'm very worn out after a full day's teaching, the language barrier can be tiresome, plus I really don't feel like I am skillfull enough a DJ or a music teacher to charge for such services. On top of that I have absolutely no training in teaching such 'problem children'. Tonight I was approached again by another manager to say that the boss really wants me to teach his son DJing, and his son is no other than this infamous little terror.

What I really want to say is, no way, his child is a nightmare, but I have told him that I will think about it (I have until tomorrow when I meet his father). He would pay me 40,000 p/h which I couldn't really care less about when it's his son in question. The DJ classes would be in the school (I would prefer a more controlled environment like his home) and after my longest day teaching, on Wednesdays.

Whilst I am still weighing up the pros and cons in my heads, I would first of all like some advice on how to politely decline the offer. I feel like I'm in a position where I have to say yes just because of whose child he is, when my natural instinct would be to gently explain my (I think) very understandable reasons why I wouldn't be prepared to teach him this activity.

However there are still some doubts in my head- part of me is willing to give this kid a chance- perhaps I really can help him using music- teaching music therapy has been one of my ambitions in the past, not to mention a little extra pocket money.

What, dear forum users and fellow ESL teachers, would you do if you were being poached to give the boss' little 'devil boy' some extra-curricular classes when your instinct told you to run far, far away? Thank you in advance. And sorry for the long post.

[ewlandon]

is this class offered to other students at the school? Sounds illegal, say you dont want to put your visa in jeopardy.

[busanliving]

It's not illegal if taking place at the school.

[kimchi_pizza]

The child sounds 'high-strung' on sugar/caffeine. Ask that NOTHING be given to the child that includes sugar, chocolate, caffeine, etc. If he is still 'wound-up' see if there is some 'exercise' type punishment, i.e. jumping jacks, push-ups, etc. BUT get the family's support and make a 'game' of it. But please ok it with the family/school before undertaking ANYTHING for your own protection.

My guess is the mother supplies a lot of 'treats' to get him quiet or to get him to obey. Biggest mistake ever.

[edwardcatflap]

[kimchi_pizza]

[edwardcatflap]

[nero]

OP, don't do it.
It will open a can of worms, believe me.
Just explain that you are tired after work and you want to focus on giving your best to your company. you can't do that if you are too tired.
Don't get sucked in, by god DO NOT get sucked in to teaching this kid privately.
Also, don't be emotionally blackmailed into doing it. You are not this child's saviour. His behaviour is most likely not going to change through music, it is just going to be a nightmare for you.
Although there are possibly underlying factors to this child's behaviour, it sounds like he has been spoiled most of his life and his mum is now reaping what