Korean Job Discussion Forums

[cam83]

So basically I have been in Seoul for just over 4yrs now and for the first time, lent a friend (not close but we have the same circle of friends and socialize) $200 in the middle of March, which I was happy to do as he seemed desperate (i.e needed money to eat etc until payday). He told me I'd get it back mid April, but when the time came, he told me the end of the month because of payday. Being on an E-2 i figured most people are paid at the end of the month and was ok to let it run 2 weeks more.

Then came payday, however the Sunday night before he calls saying he broke his finger and needed to pay to get it looked at and put in a splint ($300... he doesn't have insurance). I was annoyed and told him I needed the money to pay for some family thing and nobody comes before them.

After several unanswered messages and calls to him, I finally call my family to tell them that I won't be able to help them out but I am so angry at this point (not just about the money but the lack of communication and effort), that I message my friend that if I don't see the money in my account by morning, I would alert the authorities (police/immigration) of theft.

Low and behold within 10mins I get an angry call about not being a good friend and that if I took his $200 he would be left with nothing etc After we both said our piece (including him having to find 3Mil for surgery), he told me I was sure to get it on May 18th but would try to get it a week early for me (which I was told later wasn't possible due to losing his job and not getting his pay early). He offers a small transfer donation of $20.

May 18th arrives... I ask to send me a message once deposited to which he replies that he hasn't been paid yet but as soon as he does, I'll have it. So here we are on Thur 23rd and I get no reply as to where my money is.

What makes it worse is that I know they have been out at birthdays and dinners with other mutual friends, so unless someone else is footing his bill, I'm not happy. Plus I'm curious as to how he has survived all this time on $400.... seeing that he seemingly came to me as a last resort.

I'm not quite sure the best route to take here so wondering if anyone has experienced lending money to a fellow foreigner and not got it back or how they dealt with their situation.

Obviously I have documented the bank transfers and messages to prove it was borrowed money.

Ps, sorry for dragging it out but thanks in advance.

[jvalmer]

Rule #1 of lending money... Only lend money you're willing to lose.

Anyways, it's only $200, hound him but don't make it your life's mission to get that money back. And if you don't get it back it's a good lesson to learn. Next time lend less money to someone, or better yet, don't lend any money.

[joelove]

Not such a big amount to learn a valuable lesson I guess. You can be sure he has no intention of paying you back and will do this to anyone he can get away with doing it to. Don't feel too bad, I've been a bigger fool than that.

[Julius]

[Zyzyfer]

[cam83]

Double post.

[optik404]

Go to his house, take his possessions and sell them.

[tob55]

Reminds me of a quote, "money and friends are soon parted." Lesson learned should be that by keeping friends it requires there is a separation of any type of business dealings, whether casual or formal in terms of lending or borrowing money. Sad to say it, but I have lost a few friends here in Korea who became upset over a money issue. (Not because I was borrowing money from them, but vice versa)

We can never retrace our steps to undo the consequences of our own actions in some cases. I prefer to give someone an advance (of a reasonable amount of cash) as a gift rather than a loan with promise of return. That way I am always clear in my mind that my friend will stay my friend. The times I lost 2-300 hundred dollars to friends in the past is probably more than I would like to mention, but fortunately, I have managed to lose only a few friends over the issue.

Good luck OP, and I hope you will not become bitter over this situation, because it is bound to happen to us all if we are not careful.

[dairyairy]

I'll say that emergencies do happen but a friend pays the money back when they said they would, and they pay it with gratitude. If someone plays dumb and stops answering messages then they are a lying POS and your money is gone.

Because of the fact that some of those lying POS types are always leaving Korea in a few months, you shouldn't loan any more than say 30,000-50,000 to anyone ever. If they need more then they should call their family. That's the way it should work. But, odds are that they've already tapped out their families, too.

[Died By Bear]

I would let it go. $200.00 is such a small amount of money in the long run.

[Deja]

That'll teach you to help them by taking them to the best, greatest, most awesome... bank in town

[cam83]

[War Eagle]

[TheUrbanMyth]

Don't lend money unless (a) you can afford to lose it. (b) It is a good friend.


And by good friend I don't mean somebody you met in Korea a few months ago and semi-regularly booze up with.

I mean someone you've known well for years and know you can trust.

Otherwise prepare to lose it.

[TheUrbanMyth]