Korean Job Discussion Forums

[Smithington]

Why is it that Korea's obsession with respecting one's elders never seems to apply to foreigners? I've seen Koreans get into fist fights over a perceived slight by someone two weeks younger than them. Age is to be respected - unless the older person is a foreigner. Of course the waygookin is expected to comply with Korean culture, respecting older teachers in the school, society etc...but it seems to be a one way street without any reciprocity.

Respecting your elders is a fundamental component of "Korean culture". It just seems to go out the window where whitey is concerned. Seems they can pick and choose which aspects of their culture apply to us, and which don't.

As i said, it seems like a one way street.

[CentralCali]

Back in the late 1970s, while I was living in Seoul, it was explained to me this way: Foreigners don't factor in because they're not part of society.

[premiummince]

I've got a buddy who's an older foreigner and he gets it. But he usually dresses nice. Do homeless people get the age respect?

[Steelrails]

Foreigners tend not to give the Korean level of respect, so why should they receive it?

It has its perks. You may not get the same level of respect but you don't have to fawn over the elders quite as much and get away with more casual behavior (which some elders enjoy if you play it right- everyone likes to feel young again). This more casual friendship may even allow you to "gain the ear" of your boss or principal in a way that normal Koreans would not.

Overall, I'd say its a wash.

[yodanole]

[Captain Corea]

One of my old coworkers, and a good friend, was a 60 yr old Canadian female.

She got the "age respect" thing, for sure.

[big_fella1]

Usually the age respect thing only applies to people you know. Haven't you ever noticed the way young people pretend to sleep on the subway so they don't have to give up their seat. How much respect is shown to those older citizens who live on the streets?

Seriously though if you want respect based on your age, you have become pretty sad and may need to return home. People can respect me for my knowledge, work, or as a human. People can also choose not to respect me, what do you want to do enforce thinking?

People that cannot show respect to all others, are just disrespecting themsleves and their upbringing IMHO.

[jvalmer]

Depends on how you present themselves. I've noticed old people, I'm talking all grey and looking like they are in the 70's, get the royal treatment.

[cam83]

I'm a 31 year old black guy... I give respect to elders here and I get it back from them. Same with my student. I guess in the west we are told to treat others with respect regardless of age, so unless you're treated like sh*t by an elder for no apparent reason (i.e you're not being an idiot/disrespectful), I can't see why you'd have any problems.

I will however say that the level of respect I get is more to do with my image (dress well, try to use what Korean I know and usually have a friendly smile).

I have also seen Koreans not respecting their elders in public if the elder has been rude to them... so I think maybe the mindset of the younger generation is changing.

I have to ask OP, did something in particular happen to you?

[jvalmer]

[thegadfly]

I've been given the age-respect thing myself, many times -- the most surprising for me was when a young, drunk Korean marine I had only just met let me win at an impromptu arm wrestling match (years ago, when I thought arm wrestling drunk Korean marines was a good idea). He totally played it off as if I had won, even though we all knew what was up...and yes, he poured all of my drinks two-handed....

Of course, to be honest, I HAVE seen and heard some Koreans reacting strangely to the folks treating me with "the appropriate respect," but those folks get schooled by the Koreans around me.

I DO play a modified version of the game -- I am very careful to make sure proper respect goes upward, but I give folks "below" me the same respect one would accord to equals or people whose status you are not certain of...and have actually been told by some of the younger people that I should NOT act that way toward them....

If you treat others with respect in a way that they can recognize, you are more likely to be treated with respect in turn...because most of us can recognize good intentions, even if the action itself carries no particular meaning

[Fox]

[KimchiNinja]

How old are you guys 22?

I certainly receive the age=respect thing. Maybe not as strictly as if I were Korean, but they still seem to apply it to me. Women turn their heads when drinking, young guys can't smoke in front of me, if I speak younger people shut up, that type of stuff. It's awesome.

[northway]

Who amongst us has been forced o deal with the mountain of bullshit that is age in Korea? Need we be concerned about getting married by age 30 (lunar)? Koreans have age guidelines they must follow, unfortunately. We, thankfully, do not.

[Scorpion]

Anyone who thinks that foreigners in Korea receive the same respect as Koreans of a similar age is seriously deluded. From students snatching things out of your hand, to co-teachers half your age trying to micro-manage you in the classroom, to our demonization in the media, to impolite service from clerks at the local mart, the lower level of respect given to 'older' Westerners should be apparent to anyone not in a coma. I treat everyone with respect that I meet, be it the crossing guard, the lunch ladies, the janitor, or the principle. I exclusively use the 'yo' form of speech with every Korean I speak to, and it is often returned. But far too often it is not. I've had Korean teachers not even acknowledge my greeting. Others have too....I can't believe this is even a topic for debate. Would a bunch of high school students yell abuse at a 40 year old Korean, then collapse into a spasm of mocking laughter? Would middle school students yell "Hello" at you and, when you don't respond, start with the "puck you" talk?

We all know the answer.