Korean Job Discussion Forums

[thomas pars]

So the other day my girlfriend of 4 years and I went to the embassy.
Filled out the paperwork to get married.

2 days have gone by and i haven't been this gut sick in forever. I love my
girlfriend but I keep wondering if this was the right decision at the right time.

I think about this over and over and put myself in a panic. So much so that all I think about doing is fleeing the country.

I got the coldest cold feet I can imagine. Did anyone else feel this way?

[Dodge7]

[Keeper]

No one came make the decision except yourself. Why so nervous? You need to keep answering that question.

[edwardcatflap]

Do you live with her now? If not imagine what it would be like living with her and only her 24/7 for long periods of time. Think about what you argue about now. These things will probably get on your nerves a lot more after getting married. Think about long term what you will doing and where you will live. Think about money. Who will make it and how much she will want to spend and on what. these are the kind of things you should be dwelling on apart from the obvious sexual attraction bit.

[PigeonFart]

thomas pars, are you English by any chance? If so, i think i might know who you are!

I'm sorry to hear you're having cold feet. That is either a sign that you've;
(1) committed to the wrong girl,

(2) committed to the right girl, but at the wrong time,
( maybe not ready for marriage for another few years)

(3) committed to the right girl at the right time but just having these horrible feelings of doubt which could be deemed natural given the big step being made.

I don't have a clue which case it is. Neither will anyone else. Only you and your girlfriend can figure this one out. Best of luck either way. Keep us updated! We'd like to know what happens.

[JustinC]

Try flipping a coin. I'm being partially facetious and partially honest; there's a good chance it will give you a little insight.

[Squire]

I'm going to have to agree with Dodge. There's no way we can provide constructive advice without a picture

[Nester Noodlemon]

Let her stay over at my place for about a week, or two, then I will give you my humble opinion.

[Steelrails]

If you can't picture yourself together when your old, gray, and one of you needs help to go to the bathroom, then you don't belong getting married. Married isn't about passionate love. It's about loyalty. Loyalty of the stand by their quadriplegic head shaved in a halo with a speech impediment sort.

If you aint willing to do that, marriage ain't for you.

[YTMND]

In Korea, I learned that doing things earlier is better than waiting. If you wait, then you just get blamed for stupid stuff and if you later say, "Ok, now I am ready." others won't be. They will hold it against you.

Either this marriage will work or it won't. You did the right thing by starting it. Now see what happens and don't regret it. Move on if it doesn't work out.

[Zulethe]

With the divorce rate in the west creeping up toward 60 percent, the chance that your marriage will last is slim and none.

Even Koreans are more accepting of divorce these days. I mean who in their right mind would want to stay with the same person for the rest of their lives?

I know I wouldn't and didn't.

So go ahead and get married. You're feeling guilty right now because in your heart of hearts you know it won't last.

As long as you both enjoy the ride, then go for it.

[Zackback]

I say go for it.
I mean how awful can it really get?

No problem man. Keep up your charm and everything will work out great.

[hellofaniceguy]

If you are having second thoughts...it's a given.....you marry.....it won't last.....divorce is in the future.....maybe 10 years...maybe 20.....but it won't last....follow your gut and you won't go wrong.

[orosee]

If you made the decision after knowing her for 4 years, go ahead. It's normal to get cold feet. Just reflect on the reasons that made you want to marry her in the first place. Was it you decision, her pushing, or a mutual thing?

(I usually wait 7 years with cohabitation for exceptional certainty and clarity; it takes out most of the romance but the wedding parties are still great; I've done that more than once so I must know what I'm talking of)

[luckylady]