Korean Job Discussion Forums

[Swampfox10mm]

Things have not been going well for some time, and after dealing with it for the better part of a year, I have decided that things will never get better, and I need to move on while I'm still young. Unfortunately, there is a child involved.

My wife refuses to communicate with me, unless I push it. Then, she fights. If I'm not careful, she will escalate it to the level of screaming fits and nervous breakdowns. I've suggested we go to counseling, and she won't even answer. I've spoken to her family, and that only made things worse. We go days... weeks... the better part of a year, really, without saying much of anything, and it's been just horrible. I had hoped things would improve after she found a new job and we moved to the home she wanted to move to, but it hasn't. Now she wants to quit this job and says she doesn't talk to me about it because I said "I told you so." Here's the thing- I never did! After all of the pain we went through with her last job, I've been nothing but supportive. I think she's just so upset/embarrassed over what's happened, she has played over and over in her brain what she thinks I would say, and insists I said it.

Most days go by, and we speak barely a few sentences related to caring for our daughter. I just can't handle this anymore. I feel like she's keeping the status quo because she wants to be able to blame me for this ending.

Does anyone know where we go for a divorce? How long does it take (waiting period)? I've even set a date and time for us to meet and start the paperwork going, but she won't even respond when I ask her if she can make that day/time. She has to be there, right?

Do I need a lawyer? (please offer advice only if you know something from personal experience, or that of experiences a friend had).

The search engine here has not helped, and I can't do another search again because it says I have to wait some long period of time before a new search.

Thanks.

[hondaicivic]

[Swampfox10mm]

Over 3 years.

[Swampfox10mm]

Please keep this information to PM, because she reads this forum.

Thanks.

[ZIFA]

In hindsight, can you say that there were any negative signs while you were dating?
Did you know her a long time before getting married?

[Jane]

I suggest calling the the Seoul Global Center (#120), as they have an English-speaking lawyer there to help with inquiries. He/she may be able to set you in the right direction.

[matthews_world]

I wonder if the OP has ever heard of Post Partem Depression. Often persists in women who have just had labor and can last anywhere from 6 months to a year or more depending on the case.

If you are having communication issues, definitely seek some professional help. Don't throw in the towel just yet as it is the easy road out.

It's not her fault. It's just nature. When it comes to psychological abnormalities, lack of knowledge will cause people to sweep these under the carpet, especially in Korean society where such are seldom discussed.

[Captain Corea]

Good luck, OP. It sounds like the decision has been made, but do you think there's any chance for working things out?

[PatrickGHBusan]

Sorry to hear about your impending divorce.

Bascially you need a lawyer. There is a child involved and custody laws in Korea are pretty precise. You need to get informed fast and make sure you know what your rights are and also what your responsibilities will be!

I know of a few people who divorced in Korea. Some were mixed couples and some were Korean. If memory serves, and I could be wrong, child custody went to the fathers by default.

Since you are a foreigner in Korea (no idea of your visa status) things may be different.

So, talk to a lawyer (the US embassy site has some links) asap.

As for this forum, this is just my two cents but I would refrain from sharing so much information on here. Some people have been burnt by this place in the past because they posted too much personal information.

Good luck to you, to your wife and most of all to your daughter. She is the one who will suffer the most in all this, as parents, even if you hate each other, you have to put that aside when it comes to her and think of her welfare first and before anything else.

Then again, I am sure you know this.

Good luck.

[cricketnut]

Yeah..I secon those sentiments fromPatrick.

I just feel you need to communicate at least some way properly
before putting the hammer own on a decision.

Do you have a good relationship with her sister of brother?or
is she onlychild?

I'm thnking ofmy situation(married 3 years) and if things went south
and wife wouldn't communicate..they might be a source of mediary.

organise a meeting with a translator ifneccessary?

I'd stay clear of parents yes..I always keep a slight distance in my own
mind fromher parents(even though allswell)

overall...I hope things work out even at this late stage?

[Koreadays]

it's not that difficult to get a divorce as long as you both sign the papers
if she refuses to sign off on the divorce then you are in trouble. then it takes time. custody over the baby will also be an issue. it really depends on how childish she gets.
call a lawyer..

[nobbyken]

OP, sorry to hear about your situation.
I hope things sort themselves out, but this will take cool heads and a gentle manner.

I recall seeing the news that divorce laws were changing at some point to include a 3-month period of attempted reconciliation, but know nothing apart from that.

A lawyer or people who have or are at the same point in marriage will be your best bet.

[Died By Bear]

OP, been there a few times over the past 12 years myself...


The only piece of advice I'm going to lay on you today is this:

The mystery of wood is not that it burns.

It's that it floats.

[ZIFA]

[madowlspeaks]