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Calling / texting when running late ??

 
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Drew345



Joined: 24 May 2005

PostPosted: Mon Dec 16, 2013 1:14 am    Post subject: Calling / texting when running late ?? Reply with quote

OK, I usually hate the post with rash generalities about Korea, but I really got to know, is this one on me, on a few lazy friends, or something about Korea in general.
I have had numerous appointments where the person is running late, but makes no effort to inform me of being late or an estimated arrival time. If I get tired of waiting and make the call, they are "one bus stop away" or something, which ends up being not quite true.
Of if they do contact about being late, it is already after being late (duh..) with no estimated arrival time.
I honestly don't mind if people are late, I would just like to know so I can wait in a nice warm Mac, BK, KFC or even down at the subway platform, where there are at least benches. Or maybe even get a little shopping done.
Do other readers here send a message BEFORE actually being late with an estimated arrival time? Or is that just a strange habit that I have (and expect from others).
Thank you.
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optik404



Joined: 24 Jun 2008

PostPosted: Mon Dec 16, 2013 6:28 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

From what I can remember, my Korean friends all text me if they're running late. Most of them are so sorry they offer to pay for stuff.
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edwardcatflap



Joined: 22 Mar 2009

PostPosted: Mon Dec 16, 2013 2:15 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

The mobile phone is the scourge of punctuality. Nowadays people leave for appointments when they feel like it and expect the person who's waiting for them to phone up and check on their progress. For this reason I never agree to meet anyone outside a subway station, always in a nice warm place with chairs
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Drew345



Joined: 24 May 2005

PostPosted: Mon Dec 16, 2013 3:25 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

It seems my initial supposition that this (not calling / texting when late) might be a Korean culture thing was wrong, so I'll be the first to admit I was wrong.
I guess it is me. I'll ease up a bit. I know some friends who won't call / text even when 30 minutes late ("almost there..almost there"), so I'll be sure to meet them only someplace warm with chairs, as mentioned above.
I feel less stressed already.
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Captain Corea



Joined: 28 Feb 2005
Location: Seoul

PostPosted: Mon Dec 16, 2013 4:00 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

As soon as I realize I'm going to be late (more than a couple of minutes), I'll send a text with an ETA.

I feel the same way, OP.
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Otus



Joined: 09 Feb 2006

PostPosted: Mon Dec 16, 2013 4:18 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Remember the days before mobiles in Korea. You could put a message on a pager (beepee), but still needed to get to a landline. Not showing up for an appointment, or being more than 15 minutes late could lead to having that person never agree to meet you again ...
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fermentation



Joined: 22 Jun 2009

PostPosted: Mon Dec 16, 2013 5:04 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Very common from my experience. Along with changing schedules last minute.
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Steelrails



Joined: 12 Mar 2009
Location: Earth, Solar System

PostPosted: Mon Dec 16, 2013 9:17 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Otus wrote:
Remember the days before mobiles in Korea. You could put a message on a pager (beepee), but still needed to get to a landline. Not showing up for an appointment, or being more than 15 minutes late could lead to having that person never agree to meet you again ...


Ah yes the days of being stuck on a slow 14.4 connection when the office would have blazing fast 56k. My baggy jeans were getting tangled with my giant wallet chain. Then having to yell at the ajumma to stop picking up the phone and disconnecting me. The dulcet tones of The Butthole Surfers and Salt-N=Pepa were coming out of my Sony Discman. And the world was all abuzz over the recent finale of "Cheers". And who would be our biggest heartthrob- Christian Slater or Chris O'Donnell? And as for Korea, this band called 'Seo Taiji' was busting out on their scene. Would the Korean people accept rapping in their music?

Then my grandpappy said "Back in my day, I remember the terrible trouble of tracking down some chimney sweep boy to carry off my cable to the nearest telegraph operator to let someone know that my carriage had suffered a broken wheel and that the street-trolleys were stuck on the track because apparently the Eye-talians and some other ethnics were upset about their 20 hour work days or some such. Would get me so upset I'd go through two whole tablespoons of Barnaby's Elixer."
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Hokie21



Joined: 01 Mar 2011

PostPosted: Tue Dec 17, 2013 6:13 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

In my experience Americans are much more anal regarding appointment times than any of group I've meet (and I say this as someone whose basically an American.)

Generally from what I've seen in most Asian countries is if you say let's meet at 4:00 then anywhere from 4-4:30 is considered "on-time." When I first arrived in Thailand it would drive me nuts and when I'd bring it up to a fellow Westerner I was told that we were now on "Thai-time."

To a degree it's the same in many Spanish/Latino cultures, I used to tutor quite a few people from South America/Latin America and I soon realized that a 6:30 start time did not mean 6:30.

So while yeah it's somewhat common in Korea I'm starting to think the number of people who actually show up at the designated time are becoming the minority. But yes, if I'm going to be late I'll always call/text to let them know.
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Died By Bear



Joined: 13 Jul 2010
Location: On the big lake they call Gitche Gumee

PostPosted: Tue Dec 17, 2013 2:09 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ah yes the days of being stuck on a slow 14.4 connection when the office would have blazing fast 56k. My baggy jeans were getting tangled with my giant wallet chain. Then having to yell at the ajumma to stop picking up the phone and disconnecting me. The dulcet tones of The Butthole Surfers and Salt-N=Pepa were coming out of my Sony Discman. And the world was all abuzz over the recent finale of "Cheers". And who would be our biggest heartthrob- Christian Slater or Chris O'Donnell? And as for Korea, this band called 'Seo Taiji' was busting out on their scene. Would the Korean people accept rapping in their music?


I hear ya
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beentheredonethat777



Joined: 27 Jul 2013
Location: AsiaHaven

PostPosted: Tue Dec 17, 2013 5:31 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

"Uh...sorry!" said the friend who was running 35 minutes late. End of story.

@Drew345:

Throughout the years, this scenario used to happen to me over and over again, year in and year- out, until I came up with the following solutions.


#1. If I am meeting a Korean friend, I generally set the meeting time 30 minutes earlier than I plan to actually show up. This way, we both arrive at the same time.(Although technically, they are 30 minutes late, but no apology is needed because we've both "just arrived.")

#2. I leave my house a couple of minutes before the precise time the date/meeting is supposed to start and still show up "on time."

These are two fool-proof methods that ,99% of the time, have worked wonderfully for me.

Please note, this is my personal experience and personal method for balancing out the element of time. I am not here to make a generalization of all Korean people.

These two solutions have saved me a lot of tension, worry, stress, frustration over the years. So please don't take the not calling/texting thing personal.
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duhweecher



Joined: 06 Nov 2013

PostPosted: Mon Jan 20, 2014 7:50 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

This ticks me off as well. I usually tell the person not to do it again and deliver the 20 min rule...I.e. I wait for 20 minutes then make my way and force them to seek me out. For friends who change meeting times or dates without notice two times in a row, I usually just avoid meeting or setting up appts/ dates with them at all. They obviously have their priorities in the wrong areas.

What ticks me off more is the unprofessionalism or so-called professionals here. I have often been asked if I could do a translation/ editing/ or English gig on short notice in which case I would need to make a small adjustment, such as starting one day later than the asked date. I'd sent my regrets and ask whether such a concession would be possible and get ZERO reply! No "sorry, we found another who could do those times," no "we regret that such a request would be impossible," no "sorry, but we'll keep you in mind."

Professional companies really have NO professionalism when it comes to follow-ups. And, yes, I really think it may be a validly applicable generalization to the companies/ HR culture in South Korea.

And I won't even start on being totally oblivious of the importance of spelling people's names correctly (and, yes, I'm talking about chaebols...the massive conglomerates!).
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nate1983



Joined: 30 Mar 2008

PostPosted: Wed Jan 22, 2014 7:56 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

edwardcatflap wrote:
The mobile phone is the scourge of punctuality. Nowadays people leave for appointments when they feel like it and expect the person who's waiting for them to phone up and check on their progress. For this reason I never agree to meet anyone outside a subway station, always in a nice warm place with chairs


Totally agree. I grew up and went to college in a small town so never needed a phone, but it's baffling how people in big cities could manage to find each other back then. I guess people would just pick a predetermined location and make an actual effort to be there on time. The younger folks never had to do that, so they're just hard-wired to not give a damn about being punctual.

I feel really guilty whenever I'm late, and my pet peeve is hearing "3 more minutes" when it's really 12 - why lie and make me wait outside? Tell me the truth and I'll go do something else for 10 minutes or find somewhere to sit down. And if it's a potential romantic interest who routinely does that, well we're done. Not because I'm not patient, but because anyone who is like that is not a good personality match for me.
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