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Friend broke up w/Fiance...thinking on pulling a runner.....

 
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itiswhatitis



Joined: 08 Aug 2011

PostPosted: Wed Apr 23, 2014 5:12 am    Post subject: Friend broke up w/Fiance...thinking on pulling a runner..... Reply with quote

My Australian buddy broke up with his Korean fiance today and he phoned me begging to have dinner and a beer with him tonight.

I'll TRY to keep it simple:

He told me that he has had it and is too depressed to go to work tomorrow (he works at a public school).

I have convinced him to stay and think about it until the weekend, but he still seems to want to leave and he wants to pull a runner to leave right away. He is also afraid of being honest with his school because he is concerned that they may play "hard ball".

I told him that it was ultimately his decision BUT that it could prevent him from ever coming back to work in Korea again if he pulls a runner. He says that he doesn't care as he will never be back. He said that worse case is that he will do any old job back in Australia and then come back to Korea once his E-2 visa is expired.....HUH???????? I told him about the risk of being REPORTED TO IMMIGRATION and he shrugged it off. Not to mention that PS jobs are more competitive these days and that he will be back to hagwon land (at best) without having a good reference from his school.

I have a feeling that there is a very good chance that he will want to come back as he has a good group of friends (Koreans and westerners), generally seems very happy, and has been here for 5 years (3 years in the same public school), and speaks intermediate level Korean (ETC ETC ETC!!!)

Can someone back me up here.........

His school can find a way of royally screwing him AND is likely to royally screw him, correct? Not only with a bad reference BUT also with causing long term visa problems which could very well go much beyond the end of his current contract. He has been there for 3 years so they are going to feel that they have been stabbed in the back if he doesn't show up and they go to find an empty apartment (and rightfully so).


Thanks in advance for any advice/information.
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ttompatz



Joined: 05 Sep 2005
Location: Kwangju, South Korea

PostPosted: Wed Apr 23, 2014 5:40 am    Post subject: Re: Friend broke up w/Fiance...thinking on pulling a runner. Reply with quote

itiswhatitis wrote:
His school can find a way of royally screwing him AND is likely to royally screw him, correct? Not only with a bad reference BUT also with causing long term visa problems which could very well go much beyond the end of his current contract. He has been there for 3 years so they are going to feel that they have been stabbed in the back if he doesn't show up and they go to find an empty apartment (and rightfully so).


The school can't do anything to him other than keep his deposits (900k)
and
leaving a PS as a runner will preclude any chance of his ever working at another PS job
AND
may prevent him from getting an E2 until his current E2 expires.

He will also lose any accumulated severance (since he has been at the same school for several years that amount may be substantial) ...

as well as losing his flight allowances or being left responsible for them as "bad debt" if/when he returns.

If he really wants to leave, give his 30 days notice and get it all back.
1 month isn't so long when you are talking about pissing away several thousand dollars (potentially as much as $4-7k in accumulated benefits and deposits). Take him out and get him laid - 30 days will be much shorter.

.
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itiswhatitis



Joined: 08 Aug 2011

PostPosted: Wed Apr 23, 2014 6:08 am    Post subject: Re: Friend broke up w/Fiance...thinking on pulling a runner. Reply with quote

being left responsible for them as "bad debt" if/when he returns.

Wow, thanks!

Not only for my friend, but also out of my own curiosity, what does it mean to be responsible for them as "bad debt". Please forgive me if this is a stupis question. Does it mean something like taking him to small claims court if/when he comes back?
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itiswhatitis



Joined: 08 Aug 2011

PostPosted: Wed Apr 23, 2014 6:10 am    Post subject: Re: Friend broke up w/Fiance...thinking on pulling a runner. Reply with quote

[quote="ttompatz"]
itiswhatitis wrote:

as well as losing his flight allowances or being left responsible for them as "bad debt" if/when he returns.

.



Wow, thanks!

Not only for my friend, but also out of my own curiosity, what does it mean to be responsible for them as "bad debt". Please forgive me if this is a stupis question. Does it mean something like taking him to small claims court if/when he comes back?
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radish kimchi



Joined: 20 Mar 2014

PostPosted: Wed Apr 23, 2014 2:12 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
as well as losing his flight allowance


If the school gave a flight after the end of a contract and before a new one started then the airfare to return is usually given back if you don't finish 6 months into the next contract period.

Otherwise, I don't see how you are responsible for this.

I would just get creative and say you have a family member in the hospital and you need to leave. Don't cancel anything, just go and then email the school a week later saying it was worse that you had expected.

If and when it finally gets to the school threatening to go to immigration you can then either fly back to fight it or just stay. But this will buy you time to get over the kimchi heart attack.
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SeoulMan6



Joined: 27 Jul 2005
Location: Gangwon-do

PostPosted: Wed Apr 23, 2014 2:48 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Tell him he's going to be in pain no matter where he is.

I don't think pulling a runner will make him heal any quicker, it will just hurt him financially.

We've all been there. It's part of life...
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Lucas



Joined: 11 Sep 2012

PostPosted: Wed Apr 23, 2014 3:17 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
Tell him he's going to be in pain no matter where he is.

I don't think pulling a runner will make him heal any quicker, it will just hurt him financially.

We've all been there. It's part of life...


Not if you're a virgin, like me. Very Happy

I think a lot will depend HOW he broke up with his gf. If she's vindictive, starts spreading lies/truths about him, it's maybe better he gets out of Korea after giving the 1-2 months’ notice.....

If they broke up on semi good terms, that's different.
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rainman3277



Joined: 13 Sep 2009

PostPosted: Wed Apr 23, 2014 3:55 pm    Post subject: Re: Friend broke up w/Fiance...thinking on pulling a runner. Reply with quote

itiswhatitis wrote:
My Australian buddy broke up with his Korean fiance today and he phoned me begging to have dinner and a beer with him tonight.

I'll TRY to keep it simple:

He told me that he has had it and is too depressed to go to work tomorrow (he works at a public school).

I have convinced him to stay and think about it until the weekend, but he still seems to want to leave and he wants to pull a runner to leave right away. He is also afraid of being honest with his school because he is concerned that they may play "hard ball".

I told him that it was ultimately his decision BUT that it could prevent him from ever coming back to work in Korea again if he pulls a runner. He says that he doesn't care as he will never be back. He said that worse case is that he will do any old job back in Australia and then come back to Korea once his E-2 visa is expired.....HUH???????? I told him about the risk of being REPORTED TO IMMIGRATION and he shrugged it off. Not to mention that PS jobs are more competitive these days and that he will be back to hagwon land (at best) without having a good reference from his school.

I have a feeling that there is a very good chance that he will want to come back as he has a good group of friends (Koreans and westerners), generally seems very happy, and has been here for 5 years (3 years in the same public school), and speaks intermediate level Korean (ETC ETC ETC!!!)

Can someone back me up here.........

His school can find a way of royally screwing him AND is likely to royally screw him, correct? Not only with a bad reference BUT also with causing long term visa problems which could very well go much beyond the end of his current contract. He has been there for 3 years so they are going to feel that they have been stabbed in the back if he doesn't show up and they go to find an empty apartment (and rightfully so).


Thanks in advance for any advice/information.


If he's been there 3 years he must have built up some kind of relationship with the school. I'd suggest telling them I have to leave for 'serious personal reasons'. Unless his relationship with the school is bad to begin with, this should be sufficient. Of course the school will be dissapointed and scrambling to find a replacement, but they won't be vindictive regarding immigration or anything.
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philthor



Joined: 22 Apr 2012
Location: America

PostPosted: Wed Apr 23, 2014 4:32 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I like to check out the Korean technology section of Dave's discussion board, and itiswhatitis posted this on the same day as stating a "friend" was thinking about pulling a runner after breaking up with his fiancee:

"Recently I signed a 2 year Iphone contract with a monthly device fee that I will pay off over 2 years. I'm thinking of leaving Korea next year instead.

What happends if I leave Korea without paying off the device?

Sorry but I am totally clueless on this.

Thanks in advance"

Odd that these two things would occur so near (not impossible) but it looks questionable.
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Smithington



Joined: 14 Dec 2011

PostPosted: Wed Apr 23, 2014 4:35 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yeah, three years is a long time. They've renewed his contract twice. There's a relationship there (even if it may not be a very personal one, (Koreans being Koreans.) I understand that many teachers may have left the school, even the VP or principle, and you don't have much of a relationship at all with new teachers. But three years is a long time. We bitch and complain about Korean employers and their shady, unethical practices, so to pull a runner on a decent school without just cause is wrong. You friend will also be screwing over his students, and will cause the school to look with suspicion on the foreigner who replaces him. He's also losing out on money's owed him. Sounds like a lose-lose situation all round.

Now, if the school has been messing with him, stealing his overtime, and generally being a bad employer, then that's a different story.
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Jongno2bucheon



Joined: 11 Mar 2014

PostPosted: Wed Apr 23, 2014 11:59 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

In Korean companies with Korean employees usually after the second contract, you are supposed to be hired full time. Its like mini tenure.

So if you are on your third contract with them, hell. Just threaten to leave unless u get full time benefits like Koreans on their third contract. If you dont get it you can leave, but at least you become a trailblazer
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Chaparrastique



Joined: 01 Jan 2014

PostPosted: Thu Apr 24, 2014 3:49 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

SeoulMan6 wrote:
Tell him he's going to be in pain no matter where he is....


Being in Korea is worse because there are so many girlfriend lookalikes everywhere.
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drcrazy



Joined: 19 Feb 2003
Location: Pusan. Yes, that's right. Pusan NOT Busan. I ain't never been to no place called Busan

PostPosted: Thu Apr 24, 2014 5:09 am    Post subject: Re: Friend broke up w/Fiance...thinking on pulling a runner. Reply with quote

itiswhatitis wrote:
My Australian buddy broke up with his Korean fiance today and he phoned me begging to have dinner and a beer with him tonight.

I'll TRY to keep it simple:

He told me that he has had it and is too depressed to go to work tomorrow (he works at a public school).

I have convinced him to stay and think about it until the weekend, but he still seems to want to leave and he wants to pull a runner to leave right away. He is also afraid of being honest with his school because he is concerned that they may play "hard ball".

I told him that it was ultimately his decision BUT that it could prevent him from ever coming back to work in Korea again if he pulls a runner. He says that he doesn't care as he will never be back. He said that worse case is that he will do any old job back in Australia and then come back to Korea once his E-2 visa is expired.....HUH???????? I told him about the risk of being REPORTED TO IMMIGRATION and he shrugged it off. Not to mention that PS jobs are more competitive these days and that he will be back to hagwon land (at best) without having a good reference from his school.

I have a feeling that there is a very good chance that he will want to come back as he has a good group of friends (Koreans and westerners), generally seems very happy, and has been here for 5 years (3 years in the same public school), and speaks intermediate level Korean (ETC ETC ETC!!!)

Can someone back me up here.........

His school can find a way of royally screwing him AND is likely to royally screw him, correct? Not only with a bad reference BUT also with causing long term visa problems which could very well go much beyond the end of his current contract. He has been there for 3 years so they are going to feel that they have been stabbed in the back if he doesn't show up and they go to find an empty apartment (and rightfully so).


Thanks in advance for any advice/information.


Where were they going to get married? It, of course, would not be legal in Korea.

From what I just read

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Recognition_of_same-sex_unions_in_Australia


it looks as if there is huge progress in this are in Australia, but not yet legal.
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