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Korean funerals
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FastForward



Joined: 04 Jul 2011

PostPosted: Thu Nov 20, 2014 4:55 pm    Post subject: Korean funerals Reply with quote

My girlfriends grandmother passed away last night. I inquired about the funeral and was informed it was 3 days long. She will be there all day for three days. Am I expected to go for three days straight as well? I've neve met her grandmother and was planning to go for 1-2 hours tomorrow to pay my respects. Would this seem disrespectful?
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Cave Dweller



Joined: 17 Aug 2014
Location: Seoul

PostPosted: Thu Nov 20, 2014 5:04 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Why not go there and get loaded with the rest of the family? It will bring your own funeral a little closer.

On a serious note, I am sure a few hours will be sufficient.
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Lucas



Joined: 11 Sep 2012

PostPosted: Thu Nov 20, 2014 5:38 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

[quote]Why not go there and get loaded with the rest of the family? It will bring your own funeral a little closer.

Korean funerals are like Korean weddings - lots of k-pop and noise.
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Cave Dweller



Joined: 17 Aug 2014
Location: Seoul

PostPosted: Thu Nov 20, 2014 9:30 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

The limited amount I have seen, they are booze fests.

But then again so are weddings and childrens' 1st birthday parties. Soju and beer on the table.

[quote="Lucas"]
Quote:
Why not go there and get loaded with the rest of the family? It will bring your own funeral a little closer.

Korean funerals are like Korean weddings - lots of k-pop and noise.
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nicwr2002



Joined: 17 Aug 2011

PostPosted: Thu Nov 20, 2014 10:58 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I've been to one and I absolutely hated it. It was just like a wedding hall with other funerals going on nearby. So, you could hear the wailing of others behind the dividers that are in place to seperate the different funerals. You are served some food and you can drink, but at this kind of "funeral hall" why would you?
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jvalmer



Joined: 06 Jun 2003

PostPosted: Thu Nov 20, 2014 11:04 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

If you plan on marrying your girlfriend then go. Otherwise, skip it.
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cj1976



Joined: 26 Oct 2005

PostPosted: Thu Nov 20, 2014 11:10 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I've only been to two funerals, and they were actually quite enjoyable. It was much like chuseok or any other Korean gathering. People were getting their drink on and eating a lot, and the go stop cards came out later. I went on to 2nd and third day, respectively, so people were already smashed. There were a couple of arguments, interspersed with short bouts of wailing, but it was generally quite a nice experience.
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Cave Dweller



Joined: 17 Aug 2014
Location: Seoul

PostPosted: Fri Nov 21, 2014 1:53 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I don't think I could ever say a funeral was nice.

cj1976 wrote:
I've only been to two funerals, and they were actually quite enjoyable. It was much like chuseok or any other Korean gathering. People were getting their drink on and eating a lot, and the go stop cards came out later. I went on to 2nd and third day, respectively, so people were already smashed. There were a couple of arguments, interspersed with short bouts of wailing, but it was generally quite a nice experience.
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drydell



Joined: 01 Oct 2009

PostPosted: Fri Nov 21, 2014 3:05 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

You lot are talking about the Wake not the funeral. The Wake goes on over 3 days and just involves respect paying , money giving, food and soju etc.

The funeral itself is an altogether different animal. I won't go into all the details but let's just say the day my Korean Father in Law was cremated and buried was the most insane day I've ever had to go through..
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atwood



Joined: 26 Dec 2009

PostPosted: Fri Nov 21, 2014 5:58 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

The food is not nearly as good as at weddings, and that's saying something. But you're not there to enjoy yourself and the food reflects that.

Wear a black suit if you can. Bring an envelope with money in it.

As someone posted above, this is just the wake. If the tomb is in the countryside, the funeral is a whole other day. It's a lot more interesting than the wake if the family is into keeping the old burial traditions.
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joeteacher



Joined: 11 Jul 2007

PostPosted: Sun Nov 23, 2014 9:10 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

jvalmer wrote:
If you plan on marrying your girlfriend then go. Otherwise, skip it.


Not sure I'd agree. Just my opinion but at the least OP should go a few hours. I'd say if you plan on marrying her stay as long as possible. If you'd like to gain some points with the family, sleep there a night. I stayed all three days for my FIL but I'm married so not much choice in the matter. However, my family was really impressed that I stuck it out.

The wake is not so bad but, yeah, (Drydell) that funeral (cremation) was some crazy shit.
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Qonny



Joined: 28 Oct 2014

PostPosted: Sun Nov 23, 2014 9:17 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

What happens that is so weird at the actual "funeral" funeral part?

My ex's father died when she was a kid. She said that after his funeral she stopped having dreams when she slept. Wouldn't go into detail, just said something about the washing of the body and the memory of certain other things stuck in her head as a wee kid.
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Lucas



Joined: 11 Sep 2012

PostPosted: Sun Nov 23, 2014 9:17 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
The wake is not so bad but, yeah, (Drydell) that funeral (cremation) was some crazy shit.


Did you eat the liver or the kidneys?
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joeteacher



Joined: 11 Jul 2007

PostPosted: Sun Nov 23, 2014 9:42 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Lucas wrote:
Quote:
The wake is not so bad but, yeah, (Drydell) that funeral (cremation) was some crazy shit.


Did you eat the liver or the kidneys?


Spicier than I thought it would be.




I guess crazy shit is a bit extreme but totally different than what I've experienced; the wrapping of the body, the crying and falling on the ground, watching the cremation, the dumping of the ashes (each family member, including myself, took hand fulls of the ashes and dumped them down a hole that looked like a well).
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Qonny



Joined: 28 Oct 2014

PostPosted: Sun Nov 23, 2014 9:59 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

So you actually see the body itself burn. Like in India??
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