Korean Job Discussion Forums

Mikethered · Joined: 29 Jan 2016 Location: Canada

I have proposed to my girlfriend and we have set a wedding date to take place in Pusan. My fiancee is from Pusan and her family will be in charge. Since my family is from Vancouver, we have basically been told to just help by supplying money. My parents are far from rich and have been asked by her parents (through her) to help out a little more than usual due to my girlfriends father having health problems and not being able to work for the past few years. My mother wanted the wedding here in Canada but that idea was shot down by her mother. My girlfriend has told me that her mother and sisters have decided that they should be in charge of the wedding and it should be in a hall???, the name of the hall is Lotte and my family sent a large amount of money today for the reservation to reserve it for the August wedding. My mother is going through the roof because she was told that the groom and his family were responsible for an evening party as well to host all the guest and that this should be in a nice hotel or nice restaurant. And so we have one week to send another large amount to reserve this restaurant, and to pay one of her sisters who is taking off work to plan everything. My girlfriend will not tell my mother how much total the expenses will be but just keeps saying that she will know later. This has been so much stress on me and my family. Can someone please tell me how much we should be expecting to pay.

edwardcatflap · Joined: 22 Mar 2009

Mike

It's not really normal in Korea for either family to pay for everyone to have a nice evening party as well. Traditionally the deal is the bride's family pay for the wedding hall during the day but get most, if not all, of it back from gifts. If your family is paying for the wedding hall, make sure your family get some, if not all, of the gift money back.

When I got married I forked out for about thirty select people to have an evening meal with speeches in the Western style in a mid range restaurant and it cost me around 2 million won. If they're going to invite everyone from the wedding hall to the bash, however, it may come to a lot more than that. Assuming you're not trolling, It sounds like you're being taken for a bit of a ride to be honest. Also if you can't afford to pay for at least some of the wedding yourself, you're probably too young to be getting married IMO

saram_ · Joined: 13 May 2008

I think you need to have a big discussion right away about all of the finances regarding this wedding.
The situation you are describing does not sound normal..

Espcially the evening event..
How come only one side of fhe family is controlling what exactly will be taking place etc.
Lotte sounds like its going to be very expensive.. above average for sure plus evening events aren't usually held like this.

You got to.figure out exactly how much is required to cover costs.
Another huge factor is figuring out now exactly what will happen to the money that you receive from guests attending the wedding.
This amount may be enough to cover a lot of the expense.

Is this going to be given to your family or divided evenly etc.
There needs to be a lot more transparency here or things will get ugly pretty quickly.
In one way it is good that her family is taking control of things but the important thing is that everybody is satisfied with what is going on exactly which I am not sure is happening here.

CentralCali · Joined: 17 May 2007

Underwaterbob · Joined: 08 Jan 2005 Location: In Cognito

Are you really just forking over huge wads of cash to people you've only interacted with through your girlfriend? Have you even seen the wedding hall? The restaurant? Most wedding halls (every one I've been in in ten years, which is many) have a buffet that's included in the cost of the wedding. The party afterwards is not required and usually only the closer friends are invited. ie people that would be up to your discretion. You need to take control of this situation and find out where this money is going. Provided you're not just a troll.

goat · Joined: 23 Feb 2010

We know who will be wearing the pants in this family.

…………………………….

Stain · Joined: 08 Jan 2014

My advice would be to ask for money for the wedding from your bride to be. Keep on asking. If they refuse, then tell them that either your mother or father has a fatal disease. See what the reaction is. If they drop their act, then you know she's the right one for you. Of course, you can tell them that there was a miracle cure after that. It's fire against fire, or bullshit against bullshit, however you choose to see it.Then, after that continue to ask for more money from her family. You should be a single man in no time.

Fallacy · Joined: 29 Jun 2015 Location: ex-ROK

Don't do it.

Mikethered · Joined: 29 Jan 2016 Location: Canada

I appreciate the advice. Last night my fiancee and mother got in a verbal fight, and then she actually pushed my mother. My father said the wedding is off, and I finally saw the light. She left this morning and with no note, she did not bring her phone, justleft, the only thing I am worried about is trying to get the western unión money back....

CentralCali · Joined: 17 May 2007

^And the troll closes out his BS story. Look, if you're going to write fiction, make it good fiction.

Mikethered · Joined: 29 Jan 2016 Location: Canada

centralCali poster,

What are you smoking dude? I went to some of your past posts and you seem to think you know everything about everyone and everything in this world. Then I saw you were an ex soldier from the states and that put everything in perspective. You guys were the ones who thought they had weapons of mass destruction, and sent a ton of people to their graves...know it all

to those who gave me advice thanks.

CentralCali · Joined: 17 May 2007

Mikethered · Joined: 29 Jan 2016 Location: Canada

Get a life you pedantic tick.

I can spell know it all anyway I like since this is an informal message board you douch bag.

If we play by your rules you are the stupid dolt.

Look at this sentence:

Ah, not only are you a troll, an idiot, and a liar, you're also a bigoted moron.

FIX THIS you wanna be teacher....

Shows how much you know about English. I found another four mistakes in your retort...

I am a certified Canadian TEACHER.

I can teach in any province I choose. What about you army boy?

Let me guess......BA in nothing with a certificate in hot air and pedantic antics....and another certificate in NO LIFE since you have posted over 400 pages on this cafe. Your the dolt. I feel sorry for those who met you in real life since you seem about as smart as Gomer Pyle....maybe your frere???

Mikethered · Joined: 29 Jan 2016 Location: Canada

centralfool....

I just went back to one of your first 457 pages of posts. (457!!!PAGES)

Look at the following and correct it.....you...(cough).....teacher.

You pedantic dolt.

Joined: 17 May 2007

PostPosted: Wed Jul 04, 2007 10:34 pm Post subject: Reply with quote Report Post
SuperHero wrote:
I show video with English subtitles.

Same here.

Student: Teacher, why no subtitle?
I: There are subtitles. They're in English.
Student: But we need them in Korean.
I: You have to wait for your Korean class to get those. This is English class.

Then they all laugh and we talk about the story and I let them watch it again.

edwardcatflap · Joined: 22 Mar 2009

Guys, personal attacks are not cool. Neither is picking someone up on a message board for missing out things like hyphens. Attack what people say not who says it.

I thought there was a possibility OP might be a troll as you do get a few people on here who think it's amusing to create an exaggerated scenario - making themselves appear overly naive - in order to get a reaction from other posters.Don't really understand why but it does happen.