|
Korean Job Discussion Forums
"The Internet's Meeting Place for ESL/EFL Teachers from Around the World!"
|
| View previous topic :: View next topic |
| Author |
Message |
Drew345
Joined: 24 May 2005
|
 Posted: Mon Mar 28, 2016 6:09 pm Post subject: Becoming more giving... |
 |
|
In my life here in Korea I found that I have become much more of a "taker" and less of a "giver". I want to change.
A lot of Koreans are very kind to me (that's my experience anyway), and I often need help a lot, so I end up asking for a lot of favors. Usually I spread it out over a few friends, but it is usually asking for help and not offering much.
Even speaking, I kind of keep track with how much someone speaks English as opposed to Korean and tend to dump or ignore people who speak more English than Korean with me.
There are relationship issues too, but don't want to go into that.
I hurt my leg recently and am spending a few days at home. Lots of people said "Get well soon." but not many offered to come see or help me. Made me realize that I don't have many close friends to count on. I know a couple of friends who are incredibly generous and helpful; I want to be more like that.
I live a bit north in an all-Korean area. I see another foreigner about once a month. Maybe I should do more to get reconnected in that way.
Anyway, I guess I should adopt a "Can I help you?", "Can I do something for you?" mindset . And I should stop keeping a tally of who is speaking how much English with me. I could go to the badminton club earlier and help set-up (after leg heals).
Anyone else ever try to adopt a more "giving" lifestyle? In Korea? Any tips?
Sorry for the emotional - sentimental post...at home alone with a bum leg. |
|
| Back to top |
|
 |
Zyzyfer
Joined: 29 Jan 2003
Location: who, what, where, when, why, how?
|
| Posted: Mon Mar 28, 2016 10:28 pm Post subject: Re: Becoming more giving... |
|
|
| Drew345 wrote: |
| A lot of Koreans are very kind to me (that's my experience anyway), and I often need help a lot, so I end up asking for a lot of favors. Usually I spread it out over a few friends, but it is usually asking for help and not offering much. |
It's an easy rut to fall into here without the leet language skillz. And it's also easy to fall into this rut anywhere, really.
Anyway, when I have a language-related favor to ask of someone who isn't "obligated" to help me, I try to remember to offer to buy lunch or dinner, or maybe a few pints at the pub, whatever.
Make a point of clearly expressing appreciation. (I can be bad about this one sometimes.)
And...I don't know if everyone feels like this is a problem with people who ask them for help, but don't hesitate to put yourself out a bit in the process. You want to make it as painless as it can possibly be for the other person. One time a relative back home needed money around the holidays, so even though it was a massive pain for me to do anything because she didn't have a bank account for me to wire the money, I was still trying to find a way to help by way of a friend who lived in the area. He was willing to go out of his way, for me, to do this favor, and suggested a place to meet to give her the cash. Sure enough, she made a stink about how she'd have to walk to get there and how he should go to this other destination instead. He was already inconvenienced, and now she's moving the goal posts. I'm sorry, but that sort of thing is off-putting when you're trying to help someone.
| Quote: |
| Even speaking, I kind of keep track with how much someone speaks English as opposed to Korean and tend to dump or ignore people who speak more English than Korean with me. |
I've always found this attitude bizarre. It's not hard to tell if someone is speaking English to you because they want the practice, and brush them off. Seems excessive to write everyone who speaks English to you off, especially if you're not fluent in Korean yourself (I'm implying this, since you need a lot of help here).
| Quote: |
| I hurt my leg recently and am spending a few days at home. Lots of people said "Get well soon." but not many offered to come see or help me. |
Just my opinion, but I think that's a lot to expect, unless you've got some really, really close friends here. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum
|
|
FAQ
Search
Memberlist
Usergroups
Register
Profile
Log in to check your private messages
Log in
